Game improvement or WTF was I thinking?!?!?!?
Ok, so I did some research into the phenomenal business of golf-swing-aids* and couldn’t help but take a step back and say “You gotta be F$%#in’ kidding me!” Does this stuff really work? In Part 1 of this periodic series, I offer a little side-by-side comparison of what they say, and what I say. Enjoy…and please don’t take offense.
What they say: Get the Right Angle with Right Link! The Right Link teaches you the proper role of the right arm throughout the golf swing. It develops the width and full extension you need for a more powerful, on-plane swing.
What I say: Steve Austin, golfer, a man barely alive…Gentlemen, we can rebuild him. We have the technology. We have the capability to make the world’s first bionic golfer. Steve Austin will be that golfer, better than he was before. Better, stronger, faster…
What they say: Swingyde will provide you with the feedback necessary to hinge the wrists correctly and assure that the face is perfectly square throughout the swing.
What I say: Holy $%#@!!! Vishnu has reincarnated to an amateur golfer people, amazing!
What I say: By some freak accident the Military Channel and the Golf Channel’s broadcast signal bounced off the same satellite at the same time and this is what happened (Thank you, Thank you! This took me some time to come up with…).
What they say: The purpose of the impact bag is to train your muscles to learn the point your club is supposed to impact the ball. By repeating your swing over and over into the bag, hitting the proper spot every time, you develop muscle memory.
What I say: Muscle memory? Bull feces! If you suck, you’re muscles are just going to remember to slice it two fairways over instead of one.
What I say: Correct me if I’m wrong but, I believe if you work in a warehouse they give you one of these for free…
What I say: You got some splainin’ to do, Explanar! How the hell did you manage to take out the ceiling fan, the urn with grandpa’s ashes and the glass top to the coffe table? Oh, right…game improvement. Forget game improvement, I think Explanar has a future in home improvement.
What I say: How the F$%# do you play 18 holes with this contraption? Looks like someone is a closet S&M fan…kinky.
*Disclaimer: I stink at golf and am in no way an expert on golf, game improvement or anything of its likeness. Please note that this was done for humor and not intended to harm anyone or anything. If you do not find this funny, sorry Bub.