GolfStinks

A Golf Blog for the Rest of Us!

Masters Smorgasbord.

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masters jacketWhat an exciting week at The Masters so far. Sergio is tied for first…of course that was only after the first round and 14 year old Guan Tianlang from China shot a 73. Wait, who? Speaking of China, I’ve been doing my best to attain pro status for my Masters party. I use fine china, silverware and real glasses whenever possible but the green jacket was kind of tough. Bubba Watson guards that thing pretty closely.

If you’re wondering what the hell I’m talking about that’s because you missed my post last Friday…it’s ok…really. I’ll give you a moment to catch up here. All caught up? Great! The good news is you can still board the green jacket fiesta train to fairway tomfoolery and nineteenth hole hijinx.

Along with all the hoopla The Masters carries with it, there’s also an opportunity to make a wager or two. Being it’s one of the four majors, this tourney sees extensive Vegas action for golf. Here’s your chance to check the odds for any golf betting you desire. Will Bubba do it again? Who knows when there is that much talent out there.

As you can see we have been going over a bunch of stuff tied to the Masters, hence the smorgasbord. That said, I wanted to save the best for last. We all know the Masters is an opportune time for businesses in the golf sector to do some advertising and maybe run some specials.

I received an email for a special “Masters week discount” from Planeswing.com. Let me tell you, these guys are on to something. Not only will they help with your swing, they’ll apparently help stop your case of the runs. Check out #4 on their “Seven Common Problems Solved” list.

swing plane

I s*** you not!

Hit’em long…yell FORE!!!

The Most Important Thing on your Golf Bag

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goose golf towel
Goose Golf Towel

Last year about this time, myself and my buddy Tom (who also happens to be a co-founder of GolfStinks) were playing the first round of the new season. We were walking up the second fairway after hitting our approach shots when Tom stopped, bent over and held his hand to his nose.

I’m not sure if it was the cold spring air, or the jolt from the swing of his 7-iron, but he had a nose bleed. As I came over to help by asking for his golf towel, his reply was more shocking to me than his face (which looked like we were playing hockey instead of golf): “I don’t have a golf towel.”

WTF?

Who doesn’t carry a golf towel? I mean seriously, it’s the most important accessory on your golf bag. I’ve taken my golf towel off to wash it and then forgot to put it back on before my next round and I felt naked out there – as if I forgot to wear my wedding band.

Not only does your golf towel clean off your clubs, but it also dries your hands; washes your ball; shields your neck from the sun; acts as a rain cover; and on some occasions, can be used to wipe a bloody nose. But with no towel of his own, I was forced to sacrifice my towel.

Although I replaced it the next round with another one I found (typical white cotton towel with the logo of some golf tourney I had played in years ago), I felt it was time to get a real golf towel. You know, one that does more than act like a rag – something specifically designed for a golfer.

One such towel is produced by Goose Golf. This isn’t just an ordinary towel – this Canadian company has created the perfect towel for out on the links. The three-layer cloth has anti-microbial cotton on the outside for great drying results. But on the inside, they’ve put a microfiber that can be moistened before your round to help clean off dirt and grit after a sand shot or taking a beaver pelt. Meanwhile, sewn between the anti-microbial cotton and microfiber is a water repellant mid-layer to help keep the wet inner layer from getting the dry outer layer damp.

So far I’m really digging this idea – you can clean your clubs really well inside the towel and dry them really well on the outside – plus if it’s raining, you can use the whole thing as a water-repellant rain hood!

But the folks over at Goose Golf didn’t stop there – they added a pouch (which is detachable) of the same materials specifically for cleaning your ball. And on that pouch is a magnetic ball marker to boot! But there’s one more feature – their unobtrusive logo, which is embroidered at the top/center of the towel, is made of velcro – so you can hang your golf glove when you head over to the putting green!

At only $20, I’m sold. But why should I be the only one with a new golf towel? And on that note, the good peeps at Goose Golf have sent me a few “extra” towels for y’all to enjoy too! Just head on over to our Facebook page and comment (not just “like”) the post on our wall entitled “The Most Important Thing on your Golf Bag.” That’s it – we’ll choose 4 random winners next week!

Now, I really hope Tom doesn’t get a bloody nose again this year…

Great Golf Courses are Meant to be Played…By Everyone

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golf stinks, golfstinksI was standing on the 1st tee at Kapalua Resort in Maui, thinking to myself; “Should I really be playing this course?”

Should I really be spending my hard-earned money on a golf course that’s going to kick my butt up and down each and every fairway? Where, when I finally get to the green, the putting surface is so difficult, nothing ever goes in – as if every hole is wearing a chastity belt?

Why on earth would I want to put myself through that torture? I have an 18 handicap – Am I out of my mind? Shouldn’t I be at a smaller, easier course instead of one where tour pros grace the fairways on a regular basis?

And for that one fleeting moment – in the time it took me to bend over and put my tee in the ground – I doubted a philosophy that I have held dear for nearly 20 years: That you don’t have to be good at golf to play a good golf course.

But it was only a moment. By the time I was addressing my ball, the thoughts in my mind had changed from the course demolishing me, to me demolishing it. I was literally going to rip that course apart – with beaver pelt-sized divots for the 100+ swings I was about to take – I was going to need both of the sand/seed mixture bottles on the cart. And most importantly, I was going to enjoy every minute of it.

So many average golfers allow themselves to be intimidated by a good golf course. If the high greens fees don’t deter them before even stepping foot on the course, the view from the first tee box surely might. You know how the story goes from there: They play a wretched round, blame the course, regret “throwing their money away,” and vow to never play a so-called upscale golf course again – all because they’re “not good enough golfers.”

What a bunch of B.S. Who says you have to be good at something in order to love it? If that were an actual law, 90% of golfers would have to quit the game because they stink. I’m sorry, but when was the last time you heard something like this: “You know, I’ve been playing golf for 40 years now and I still can’t shoot anywhere near par. I guess it’s time to quit.” The thing is, you don’t hear stuff like that because people don’t play golf because they are good at it – they play golf because they love it.

So if you love golf, you shouldn’t hesitate to play an awesome golf course if the opportunity presents itself – no matter how badly it’s probably going to beat you up. As long as you play from the correct tee box, you have nothing to fear – tee off and enjoy. And don’t worry about your score – playing a legendary course or even a local “upscale” course isn’t about playing well, it’s about experiencing the best the game has to offer – and by keeping that in perspective, you’ll never regret forking over the hefty the greens fees.

My round at Kapalua was simply amazing. Sure, I put one in the Pacific Ocean on the signature hole (OK, I put two in). But the course was gorgeous; the scenery unreal; and the weather beautiful. And the cherry on top? I broke 100 with a 96! Now that even surprised me! Great golf courses are meant to be enjoyed… by everyone. Golf is a game, and you should have fun playing it.

This post originally appeared on AmericanGolf.com‘s blog here: http://www.americangolf.com/blog/golf-courses/great-golf-courses-are-meant-to-be-played-by-everyone.

From Pool Halls To Golf Courses.

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golf ball moneyIt’s not often I associate the act of hustling someone out of their money with golf. When I think of hustling and as the title implies, I imagine a pool hall (sorry for stereotyping) with Fast Eddie and Vince (The Color of Money) type characters scheming on their next mark. Don’t get me wrong, I know there is a good amount of gambling done on the course amongst golfers, but how often do we consider it hustling?

I was reading an older article from a famous cigar magazine geared towards…uhhh…aficionados and the story told of an anonymous hustler, “Leon”, that took millions of dollars from other golfers. His victims ranged from oil tycoons to touring pro’s. You know, I’m not 100% sure if this story was glamorized or not but there were definitely some interesting points made.

A good rule of thumb I learned that applies to most situations involving making a deal, bet or whatever, is to take a good look around and spot the sucker. If you don’t see one then guess what…it’s probably you. With that in mind, I had a better understanding of Leon’s strategy.

His multifaceted plan to hustle people on the golf course is quite impressive. In fact it probably would be a great strategy for businesses. The key here was he wouldn’t play unless he knew he had the advantage. Secondly, he was a great match maker. He would put together matches that seemed fair but obviously he had the leg up.

One thing to mention is he never faked he couldn’t play. That’s just a slime ball move very easily detected. All of his opponents did know he was a good golfer but insisted they could still beat him. Another significant strength for Leon was the ability to play under pressure when big money was on the line. He pointed out that most people (including pros) would crumble when their money was at stake. Go figure…

It’s pretty interesting to know there are golf sharks out there. I’m not sure if that’s good or bad, but it sure adds a layer of character to the game. So remember to keep this story in mind next time someone asks, “Do you want to make this round more interesting?”

Hit’em long…yell FORE!!!

P.S. Almost forgot…you can view the story here.

Does Cheating at Golf Make it More Enjoyable?

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PolaraGolfCheat: act dishonestly or unfairly in order to gain an advantage, esp. in a game or examination.

The meaning of the word “cheat” – by sheer definition – suggests trickery and fraud. Cheating in games and sports has been well documented. Perhaps the most recognizable cheat in American sports would be the corked bat in baseball. Or more recently the whole PED thing. In both instances, enhancements to either body or equipment has be employed to gain an advantage (in this case, more power). And both instances are widely regarded as cheats by the general public.

Well, golf also has its cheats. Be it employment of the toe iron or some unconventional math, there are golfers out there willing to employ such tactics. And while PED’s might certainly be utilized by some golfers at the pro level, there are equipment cheats out there for us average hacks to purchase and utilize as well.

For example, the company Polara Golf has made its mark in the industry by providing equipment that exceeds USGA limitations – all so you can hit it farther and more accurately. Beginning with the introduction of their “self-correcting golf ball” a couple years ago and now unveiling their new “Advantage Driver” this month, the company’s mission statement is “to make the game of golf more fun.” But I question the longevity of that fun.

Clearly their products are aimed at the amateur golfer, rather than the pro. Not that I’m condoning it, but at least the pros do it for the money – we amateur golfers don’t have that option. So the only reason for us to cheat would be to deceive others into thinking we’re better than we actually are. That may make us feel better once or twice, but in the end, who are we really fooling?

Now, some of you may be thinking that technically, amateur golfers could cheat for money – for example, if there were a friendly wager on the round. But how long until your playing partner recognizes your shiny new club? He’ll cry foul and make you put it away. Or, he’ll go get one himself and use it until both of you start to believe you really did just shave 5 strokes off your average.

Will you tell people your new 18-hole average when they ask? Because in the back of your mind, you’ll know it’s not your real average or handicap. While new distance or accuracy may give you temporary satisfaction, eventually you will come to realize you’re a fraud.

Polara Golf has got it all wrong. You don’t need to pretend you’re a better golfer, because golfing is not about how good you are – it’s about how much you love this game and how much this game means to you regardless of your handicap. True enjoyers of golf play not for their score, but for everything else this game has to offer: Being outdoors; camaraderie; friendly competitiveness. These are the reasons we love golf. If we only loved golf because we were good at it, most of us would have quit a long time ago.

Golf is a game; you should have fun playing it…not cheating at it.

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