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Why Did You Take Up Golf? – Tell us and WIN!*

September 29, 2010 | By Greg D'Andrea | 11 Comments

Perhaps the more appropriate question would be “Why would you take up golf?” Anyone who has been golfing for more than a year (and hasn’t given it up yet) knows this is a game of mixed emotions.

On the one hand, there’s excitement, jubilation and self appreciation when you make great shot or have a milestone round. On the other hand, there’s frustration, anger and self depreciation when you whiff on the first tee, or have matched the course record…by the 9th hole.

I’ve been golfing for over 20 years and I have had my share of all these emotions (mentally, the good shots and rounds tend to outweigh the bad, which is a plus since I personally know there have been a ton more bad). Anyway, back to my original question – Why did you take up golf? For me, it was either golf or tennis.

I was 14 years old and was about to begin that all-important summer between my freshman and sophomore years in high school. My mother, God love her, I’m sure wanted me out of the house as much as possible for those few months. And since my Babe Ruth baseball league had ended in the middle of June, she decided to give me an option: Golf lessons or tennis lessons.

The thing was, neither of those two options appealed to me very much. I had just completed a rigorous (or what I felt was rigorous at the time) first year of high school and had every intention of slacking off till September. Yes, in my mind, this was going to be a summer of waking up in the early afternoon, riding bikes with my friends and eating junk food as much as possible.

The thought of being confined to a tennis court or a golf course for hours every day was not only uninviting, it was wasting valuable months that I could be doing nothing. Doing nothing. Think about that for a second – At 14, I’d rather be doing nothing than anything at all! How things change when you grow up – now I play golf to avoid doing nothing.

Nevertheless, my mom was adamant – I was going to take either golf lessons or tennis lessons and I was going to like it. A week went by. Then another, and I still hadn’t decided which one I was going to take up. I was stalling of course (the deadline for sign-up was July 1), but she was in no mood to play games. My mother took it upon herself to decide for me: It was golf. Her reasoning? I was an only child (can’t you tell) and with tennis you always need someone else to play, which is not the case with golf (actually pretty decent reasoning).

This did not change the fact that I still didn’t want to go. I tried to logic with her: “But I don’t have any clubs!” A neighbor’s garage sale changed that almost immediately. So being all out of excuses, I reluctantly packed my 1927 clubs in my mom’s trunk and got in the car. We pulled into the course parking lot and I still refused to go. I threatened to not get out of the car (remember, only child). But she gave me that look that only mothers know how to give and I subsequently dragged myself to the clubhouse with as much enthusiasm as a dead man walking.

Thus my golfing career had begun. I went 3 times a week with a group of other similar-aged kids. I was (sort of) enjoying myself. But on the last day, they held a 9-hole tournament for all of us and I came in second (shot a 58). I got a shiny golf trophy (still have it today) and something about this game began to appeal to me. Fast-forward 21 years and here I am, writing a golf blog and rushing out to the course the second I realize I have nothing to do.

*Why did you take up golf? It doesn’t have to be a long story, just post your comment here and we’ll randomly choose one person to win a $25 gift card to Golf Galaxy!

Filed Under: Uncategorized Tagged With: begin golfing, golf, golf galaxy, golf stinks, golfstinks, start golfing, take up golf

Do you want your Driver? No, he’s not my Type.

September 15, 2010 | By Greg D'Andrea | 1 Comment

The last time I carried a driver in my golf bag: Bill Clinton was impeached, Titanic was number one at the box office and Seinfeld’s famed last episode had just aired. The year was 1998. I was a young, strapping 23-year-old and my driver was a Taylor Made Bubble Burner (see stock photo to the left).

I remember spending at least $300 on the club. I walked into the local golf store, pulled it off the rack, made sure it was right handed and walked to the checkout line. Hey, everybody knew Taylor Made produced quality clubs – that was all the justification I needed.

When I hit it correctly, I could launch one about 280 straight down the fairway (perhaps 300 with the wind at my back). The problem was, hitting “correctly” calculated out to about one shot in every ten. With those odds, I was losing balls by the boat-load.

After just one season, I sold it to an acquaintance…Come to think of it, I don’t even remember who it was. Anyway, for the next 11 years I teed-off with a myriad of clubs: 3-woods, 5-woods, 2-irons, 3-irons and most recently a 17-degree hybrid.

I’ve probably had the most success with the 5-wood and the hybrid. But both of those clubs left me with a long approach on many par 4’s and getting home in two on par 5’s was completely out of the question. So last season I realized I had enough…I was tired of handicapping myself. Thus, I decided that 2010 would be the year I went back to using a driver off the tee.

Spurred on in part by Stinky Golfer Chris’ custom club fitting, I decided to get fitted for a new driver. Unlike Chris however, I didn’t have a sweet deal to get fitted at a local pro shop gratis. Instead, I was going to take my chances on a major retail chain. But as soon I stepped in the simulator at Golf Galaxy*, the annoyance started. The 20-year-old employee doing swing analysis could care less about helping me – he just wanted me to buy his favorite club. After I hit a few balls at the screen, the kid moved me aside so he could show me HIS swing. Now, why would I care about HIS swing? Was I going to pay HIM to tee-off for me on the course? The fact that he was hitting it 330 down the middle was enticing, but more annoying than anything.

Needless to say, I left there and headed up the street to Dick’s Sporting Goods. That’s where I met Ralph. Ralph’s a PGA Professional and works in the golf department at Dick’s (now Dick’s is not paying me a cent for this, but it was really refreshing to learn there’s a PGA/LPGA Pro in all of their stores). Anyway, Ralph put me in the simulator and watched me hit a few balls. Soon, I was trying two or three different clubs and after about 10 minutes, Ralph prescribed a driver with a stiff-flex shaft and a 10.5 degree loft. And about 10 minutes after that, I had found my club.

Funny. The club I hit the best was a 2009 Taylor Made Tour Burner – I had come full-circle. But would it perform out on the course any better than my old Bubble Burner? Well, since it was last year’s model, it only cost me $150 (50% less than my previous driver), so I’ve got that going for me already.

But the best news is I’ve played about 72 holes with it so far and I’m hitting the damn thing pretty good! I’m in the fairway about 30% of the time and just missing (short rough) about 40% of the time. That means I’m in play about 70% of the time – and that’s saying allot for me! I’ve lost some distance over the years (knocking it out there about 265-275, depending on the wind) but I’ll take accuracy over distance any day.

So after years of saying “no” to my driver, It seems I’ve got a renewed relationship with one. But like all romances, only time will tell if it’s a keeper. Thanks to Ralph over at Dick’s Sporting Goods for the advice and patience – while I still stink at this game, he’s helped me stink just a tad bit less.

*It should be noted that Golf Stinks was once an affiliate of Golf Galaxy. This does not change the fact that we here at Golf Stinks call it like we see it. This one particular employee of this one particular Golf Galaxy store was a complete douche. However, in no way does Stinky Golfer Greg mean to imply that all Golf Galaxy employees are douches.

Filed Under: Uncategorized Tagged With: bubble burner, dick's sporting goods, driver, golf, golf galaxy, golf stinks, golfstinks, taylor made, tour burner

Indoor Putting; Who Gives a Sh*t?

September 9, 2010 | By Greg D'Andrea | 3 Comments

I haven’t putted in my house in more than 8 years. The photo to the left is the reason. That’s my dog, Eleanor. She has a thing for spherical objects (and pork, but that’s another story). With her around, my putts never even get close to the plastic target. Instead, she knocks them off course with her snout and then proceeds to chase them around the room for the next hour (usually digressing after I wrestle them away from her).

But you know something? I don’t miss putting indoors on my carpet. For one, does it really help your putting on the course? I don’t know too many living rooms that have breaks in them. I mean seriously, all winter long you’re putting them in like a madman and then comes spring, a real green, and BAM – your ball moves to the right because of a break. But this article suggests it helps: “…anything is better than nothing. Just getting a putter in your hands and making some putting strokes is going to help. Practice makes perfect!”

Practice does indeed make perfect. I know plenty of VP’s who have a putter and fake plastic hole stashed behind their office door. “Give me a minute, I’m on a conference call!” Conference call my ass (of course, they could be on the conference call at the same time). Does it help? Funny, they can never break 100 at the annual company golf outing.

But indoor putting is big business. Got floor vents? If so, you my friend, are in luck. For only $19.95, you can have a “real golf hole in your house” (and if you putt it too hard, you have a real wall to automagically stop the ball). This ingenious putting aid is called Puttacup, and it will start shaving off the strokes in no time!

OK, this is my favorite part about Puttacup – once they realized that average floor vents are too small to fit a regular sized golf hole, they turned this adversity into marketing genius: “The advantage of this is that while you practice your putting at home, you are practicing into a cup that is a little smaller, so once you get out onto a real putting green, the actual hole will appear much bigger.” Brilliant! Too bad I don’t have floor vents.

This leaves me with very few options. Enter Truline Indoor Putting Greens. These beauts are “tour speed” and will “putt at a stimpmeter speed of approximately 13 feet.” Few things here: 1) Aren’t you always putting slightly uphill on these mats? 2) Not sure about your course, by the courses in my area rarely sport 13′ on the old stimpmeter. And 3) My wife’s an interior designer. There’s no way that thing is staying out in the living room for any length of time. Soon I won’t want to set it up and then it will just be collecting dust in the attic.

OK, I know I’m sort of going off on a tangent here. So let’s hear from you – do you find yourself putting indoors? Take the poll and let us know.

What Are Your Thoughts on Indoor Putting?

Filed Under: Uncategorized Tagged With: golf, golf stinks, golfstinks, indoor putting, puttacup, putting green, putting mat, truline indoor putting green

These Raisins Put it Down the Middle Every Time…

August 30, 2010 | By Greg D'Andrea | 1 Comment

I have a new favorite commercial. You have to hand it to Heineken; despite not being a particular fan of their product (I’m more of a Belgian beer guy), they have some great advertisements.

The most recent series of ads (featuring a couple of guys in their 30’s who win the lotto and move to a retirement community in Florida to live the “easy life”) are, in my opinion, the best commercials out there now (I will literally stop fast-forwarding the DVR and rewind to the beginning of the spot so I can watch the full 30 seconds).

The latest in the ad series has the guys on the golf course, teeing-off with their new retiree pals. The opening line: “Wanna learn how to play golf? Play with old guys. These raisins put it down the middle every time” is not as much a slam on old guys as it is showing them respect. Mr. 30-something explains that since one of his new geriatric buddies (a former WWII sniper) slowed down his swing, he’s adjusted to a “more mature game.”

He effortlessly smacks one down the fairway. Another retiree uses his range-finder to gauge the distance – he enthusiastically announces, “156!” It’s at this point when I begin chuckling uncontrollably – much to the chagrin of my wife, who is next to me on the couch. “I don’t get it.” she says. I try to explain how older-types hit it short but straight and how that usually bests the younger guns, who typically spray it like they’re dousing the rough with DDT (of course, I first have to explain to her that 156 yards is not very far for a tee-shot).

Being a non-golfer, my wife still finds it humorless. But this is what I love about that commercial – it’s not just an ad that features golf, but an ad geared toward golfers – anyone who doesn’t play doesn’t get it.

I’ve posted previously about my great uncle (coincidentally, also a WWII vet) who would usually beat me despite my ability to out-drive him by 60 yards or more. No matter how addicted we are to distance, a slower swing usually results in more consistent scores.

So here’s to all the golfers out there with senior-flex shafts and a more “mature” game – I’ll meet you on the green…right after I walk through poison ivy, shank one off a tree trunk and check myself for ticks.

Filed Under: Uncategorized Tagged With: advertisement, commercial, golf, golf stinks, golfstinks, heineken, retired, retiree, slow swing

A Thank You to Golf Stinks’ Fans & Readers

August 18, 2010 | By Golf Stinks | Leave a Comment

You may have noticed we have a new promo running over at the right-hand side of the page. Back at the beginning of June, Stinky Golfer Greg wrote a post about the Golf Genie pocket guide where he stated, “Golf Genie has found permanent residence in my golf bag.”

From easy-to-digest tips on straightening-out your slice or hook, to simple diagrams that help you get back to the basics for your grip or swing, the Golf Genie pocket guide is an invaluable on-course tool for both golf beginners and veterans alike.

Now, Golfstinks has partnered with Golf Genie to help give back to our fans and readers – We’re giving away 5 Golf Genie pocket guides a week for the next 10 weeks! The Golf Genie pocket guide retails for $15, but 50 lucky winners will get to own the best golf swing and shot-making guide on the market for free!

So, how do fans of Golfstinks get a chance to win one? Easy: Simply “Like” our Facebook page and that’s it! Be sure to revisit our FB page every week because we’ll be announcing 5 random winners weekly from now till the middle of October!

We appreciate all the support you’ve given us during the first year of our blog, so consider this just a little thank you from us. Good luck and enjoy!

-The Golfstinks Team

Filed Under: Uncategorized Tagged With: facebook, give away, golf, golf genie, golf stinks, golfstinks, promo, promotion

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