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Introducing: The Stroke Clock!

March 14, 2011 | By Chris Chirico | 5 Comments

golfstinks golf stinksSlow play. It’s probably at the top of most golfers’ complaint lists. Everyone is in such a hurry to get through the game that they can’t stand to be held up for even a minute. But if everyone knows how much it burns other golfers, then why do they do it?

Many have brought up the idea that the it’s the pros who cause the game to be played so slowly. I can understand that. Watching the pros at a tournament can be flat-out boring at some points. Taking an endless amount of practice swings, wandering around the ball for a little while, then taking a few more practice swings before they finally hit the ball…my goodness! Just wake me up when he’s done already!

It’s remarkable how much that sounds like the schmuck in front of you, isn’t it? That’s because the schmuck in front of you watches the tour and thinks he can/should do what they do. Well guess what slow guy…you can’t and you shouldn’t. And I’m not one to normally complain about slow play – I feel that if you’re expecting to hurry, then you’re playing the wrong game. But when someone is deliberately that slow…, you know what I’m getting at.

So in another effort to help improve viewership of the sport as well as, indirectly, improve the pace of play on the course for the rest us, I offer you another idea from the minds of golfstinks – The Stroke Clock. As you could probably figure, the stroke clock would work much the same as both the shot clock in basketball and play clock in football – You have X amount of time to get your shot off.

Think about that for a second. Another element of competition added to a sometimes pretty dull sport to watch. Not only are you playing against the field and the course, but now you are racing a clock as well! Some benefits to the clock? Well, picking up the pace of the game for starters. No more “play suspended by darkness.” No more watching a player wander around his ball and take enough practice swings that you’d think he’s in the middle of a lesson. Just get to your ball, focus and swing already!

And of course, the benefit for the rest of non-pros, speed of play on the public tracks we hack our way through every weekend is bound to speed up as well. All of those players who take their time because that’s what they see the pros do, will have a whole new outlook on the pace of the game! Well, theoretically anyway. But one could hope!

The NBA adopted a shot clock in order to improve the pace of play, therefore increasing scoring and amping up the excitement of the game. The NFL did the same when they adjusted the play clock from 45 seconds down to 40. Even MLB occasionally attempts to speed up the pace of play by putting the pitchers on a clock. And there are penalties for not abiding by each. In the NBA, you lose possession of the ball. In the NFL it’s a five-yard penalty. And in MLB, when enforced, it’s an automatic ball for the pitcher. How about losing a stroke in golf if you don’t get your shot off within 45 seconds of arriving at your ball? Seem a bit harsh? Well, maybe for a season they administer one or two warnings before assessing the stroke penalty. But after that season…you know the rules.

And lets face it, in a sport that has as many ridiculous rules as golf does, one to speed up the pace of play and possibly make the game more exciting might be one to consider implementing.

Swing ’til you’re happy!

Filed Under: The Pro Tours Tagged With: golf, golf course, MLB, NBA, nfl, PGA, pro, rules of golf, slow play

Weekend Giveaways: Golf Genie & Golf Pro to Go

March 11, 2011 | By Golf Stinks | Leave a Comment

We here at Golfstinks like to giveaway stuff. We’ve handed out everything from free steak, to golf gift cards. Well, this weekend is no exception!

We’ve got two promotions going on at our Facebook page: One for Golf Genie and one for Golf Pro to Go!

Twenty lucky Golfstinks Facebook fans have already won the Golf Genie Practice Drills Pocket Guide (read our review) and there are 5 more to give away this weekend! All you have to do is make sure you’ve “liked” our Facebook page and you’re automatically entered to win – We’ll pick 5 random winners this Sunday evening!

Meanwhile, Golf Pro to Go (read our review of the app) is available on both the iPhone and Droid and we’re giving away 5 codes to download the iPhone version free this Sunday evening! If you (or someone you know) owns an iPhone or iPod Touch, all you have to do to enter is go to our Facebook page and “like” this post on our wall there.

That’s it! Head on over to our Facebook page and good luck!

Above: Golf Genie Practice Drills Pocket Guide; Below: Golf Pro to Go’s home screen.

Filed Under: Uncategorized Tagged With: app, droid, giveaway, golf, golf genie, golf pro to go, golf stinks, golfstinks, iphone, ipod touch, practice drills

Attention Public Golf Courses: Make Room for Judge Smails

March 9, 2011 | By Greg D'Andrea | 3 Comments

Ready to trade-in that private club membership yet? No matter; there’s a chance your golf course will do it for you. According the National Golf Foundation (NGF), 94 18-hole private courses switched over to public courses in 2010.

Compare that to only 22 that switched from public to private and you start to realize what the golf real estate boom of decades past (coupled with the current economy) has done to private golf clubs. What’s more, public golf courses have increased in number in the U.S. nearly 6 percent over the last 10 years; compared to private courses, which have increased just 2 percent.

That being said, I’d like to take this time to welcome private club members to public golf course life. If your country club has been downgraded converted to a daily fee track, don’t fret – there’s still plenty of top drawer fun to be had. You just need to brush-up on some of your public golf course etiquette:

Firstly; Please take heed of the dress code: Collared shirts must not cost more than $30 and must never be tucked in. Shorts (I’m pretty sure long pants are forbidden) must not have little whales, ducks or other wildlife embroidered all over them. Also, wearing an ascot around your neck or sweater across your shoulders is an open invitation for a 9-iron enema…consider yourself warned.

Second; Please don’t linger in the club house before or after your round. Range balls aren’t free, so there’s no reason to show up too early for your tee-time. And if you’re not scoffing-down a bucket of hot-wings in the 19th-hole post round, then you probably should be driving home…after all, you should carve-out some time on the weekend to see your spouse and children.

Third; There’s going to be a wait on a few holes and you need to remember to remain calm. Take a deep breath (bring a paper bag to breathe into if necessary). This anxiety will pass once you come to terms with the fact that the round is going to take longer than 3 hours. Also, while you’re out on the course, you may get stuck behind a foursome that will appear to have never played golf before. Don’t worry – this is the Tennis Shoe Crowd and they are a completely normal occurrence. Simply play through when they are all in the woods searching for their drives.

Let me think…are there any more tips? Well these are a good starting point. Remember, there’s going to be an adjustment period, but don’t let that discourage you. Playing on a public golf course is nothing to be ashamed of. In fact, think of all the interesting people you will meet…like me! Just try to keep your chin up (not because you’re depressed over losing your elite status, but because if the Tennis Shoe Crowd is teeing off, you don’t want to get smacked in the face with an errant shot).

See you in April!

Filed Under: Uncategorized Tagged With: club, course, daily fee, golf, golf stinks, golfstinks, judge smails, municipal, private, public

Hypnotize Your Way to a Scratch Handicap!

February 16, 2011 | By Greg D'Andrea | Leave a Comment

When you read the title of this post, do you envision golfers walking up the fairway in zombie-like trances; their clubs loosely held in one hand as they twitch and drag their way to the 2-foot putt they have left for birdie?

I do.

Perhaps it’s because I don’t know much about hypnotism. What I do know comes from movies or television; where a person under hypnosis typically has this deer-in-the-headlights look about them and is completely submissive to whatever the hypnotizer is telling them to do. Normally, the person has “gone under” to remember something from their dreams; or to re-live a close encounter of the fourth kind.

But I guess in reality, many people undergo hypnosis to adjust certain undesirable behaviors. And when I think about that notion (as a golfer), I wonder if I can hypnotize-away my slice? Sound ridiculous? Well, don’t tell that to the folks over at Hypno-Doctor Golf Edition.

I first learned of Hypno-Doctor Golf Edition after they contacted this blog in hopes of Golfstinks joining an affiliate program* they offer. Their one (very long) webpage begins by stating the following: “Amazing New Golf Program Runs Automatically And…It Takes 5 STROKES (Or More) Off Your Very Next Round…GUARANTEED!“

Anytime a statement like that is made, I surmise many of you would immediately have reservations. I don’t blame you. Not only did I have reservations, I believe I laughed out loud. A computer program? What does it do, give you subliminal messages while you surf the web or check your email?

Well, actually, it turns out that’s exactly what it does.

“Hypno-Doctor Golf Edition provides gentle, effective hypnotic messages to ‘program’ your mind…Hypno-Doctor Golf Edition uses a layered strategy to activate your ‘relaxation center’ in multi-sensory modes. The software features layers of audio, video, subliminal text and visual anchors to put you in a mentally relaxed state while it is running on your computer – and giving you the uncanny ability to return to that state, on command, whenever you are about to hit a golf ball.”

Ready to try it yet?

OK, maybe someone out there who has gone through this form of subliminal messaging can chime in here, but this scares the shit out of me has me a bit concerned. I mean, I’ve reviewed golf books (here and here) that promote the mental side of the game, but this crosses some kind of line for me. Am I alone?


“Finally, here is a product that can end ‘The Battle of the Brain’ permanently and in your favor…and do a lot more besides.”

I don’t know…”permanently” sounds just so, well…permanent to me. And what do they mean by “do a lot more besides?” To convince you further, they’ve littered the site with testimonials from guys who swear it works (many of which have professional head shots to go along with their quote).

Upon further investigation, I realized there is a similar program for general use (not specific to golf) just called Hypno-Doctor. I assume (but am not certain) the Golf Edition is affiliated with it somehow. Regardless, does this stuff actually work? I mean, if I hand my brain over for this particular purpose, will I get it back in an un-mutilated condition? Furthermore, should I pay for this type of service (it’s on sale now for $67)?

Thoughts?

*To date, Golfstinks, LLC has not joined any affiliate program with Hypno-Doctor Golf Edition.

Filed Under: Uncategorized Tagged With: golf, golf stinks, golfstinks, hypno doctor, hypnosis, hypnotherapy, hypnotism, hypnotize

Golf Course Bankrupt? Blame Tiger Woods

January 26, 2011 | By Greg D'Andrea | 1 Comment

In this recent recession, some big investment banks were rescued from a mess that company spokespeople claimed they didn’t need to be rescued from. Nevertheless, they were labeled as “too big to fail” and were pulled to safety on the public’s dime.

Meanwhile, golf courses have been buckling under current economic conditions those aforementioned banks had a hand in creating. The last five years have not been kind to courses in the United States. But recent data from the National Golf Foundation (NGF) suggests golf facilities in general are holding their ground fairly well.

A preview of The NGF’s Golf Facilities in the U.S. report, 2011 edition (which will be released in February) reveals course closures from 2006-2010 represent just 1.5 percent of courses overall. In 2010, the figure was less than half of one percent. These statistics prompted the NGF to state the following: “Considering the severity of the recession, one could argue that golf has held its ground reasonably well.”

However, despite NGF’s positive spin, the raw numbers still reveal a glaring issue: Every year since 2006, more golf courses have closed in the U.S. than have opened. For example, last year saw 107 18-hole courses bite the dust, while only 46 were born. But does the recession deserve all the blame?

Remember the days (late 1990’s and early 2000’s) when new courses were sprouting up like daisies? And these weren’t shabby municipal tracks either – many were high-end daily fee courses that featured sharp grooming and sweet facilities. I remember one such place in my area – Pistol Creek Golf Club. It was a great course (see photo at top) with a good layout, awesome grooming and a dandy club house. It opened in 2001 and closed in 2005. Why?

If you’re observant, you’ll note that the year it closed (2005) is well before the current recession even started. Even 2006, which is when course closures began outpacing course openings in the U.S., was a full year before the effects of the subprime market started taking hold. So it’s obvious golf courses have been suffering for a while – certainly longer than the current recession.

The NGF gives a clue as to why in the headline of their press release: “NGF 2010 Openings/Closures Summary – Market Correction of Supply/Demand Imbalance Continue.” Simply put, they built too many damn courses for the number of golfers out there! So the next appropriate question would be; why?

I’m going to go out on a limb here and say it has something to do with Tiger Woods. Now I don’t have any data to back this up, but imagine it’s 1999 and you want to build a golf course. I’d give good odds that Tiger would be mentioned somewhere in your business plan or your pitch to the city council: “It’s this Tiger Woods, man! He’s changing the game!”

But did the golf industry over-estimate the impact of the Tiger phenomenon? Sure, he was good for the game, but perhaps his presence caused too many investors, architects and designers to jump on the bandwagon and simply overdo-it. Of course, this is all just speculation, but it seems entirely plausible.

So if the juggernaut that Tiger Woods once was compelled shiny new golf courses to be stacked upon the proverbial camel’s back, then the recession was only the proverbial straw. Golf, after all, is a luxury. And luxurious things are usually the first to go when money gets tight. Still, losing only 1.5 percent of courses over the past 5 years isn’t terrible. But it sends a clear message: “Market Correction of Supply/Demand Imbalance” is just a nice way of saying the golf industry is shrinking, not growing.

Filed Under: Uncategorized Tagged With: bankrupt, closes, closures, economics, golf, golf stinks, golfstinks, national golf foundation, ngf, recession, tiger woods

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