Most of the golfers I know have been playing since they were little kids. Many of them took up the game because a parent played. But not me. I didn’t take up golf when I was young mainly because my father didn’t play. He had an older set of clubs because he thought he would give the game a chance. But he wasn’t particulary fond of it, so he gave it up before I was ever around.
Nevertheless, even though my father didn’t pass the game down to me, I can see how the game can be a great bonding tool for a father and son. And so I’ve used the game as a bonding tool for my boys and I.
See, one of the best things about this great game is the camraderie and banter that goes on between any group out on the course. Be it ball-busting with your regular golf buddies, or serious conversation between friends or family, the golf course seems to provide an almost private setting where opinions and thoughts can be shared. It’s almost as if the golf course somehow gives you the ability to say things that you just may not say in another place or at another time.
But it’s today in particular that makes me think of how things would have been had my father and I ever had the chance to play golf together. I lost my father just over fourteen years ago at an all too early age, and today would have been his 67th birthday. It’s today especially that I wonder, when my buddies talked me into giving this great game a chance, would I have been able to convince my father to give it another shot? And if I did, would there ever have been the ball-busting that my buddies and I regularly give to each other? Probably. Would good, serious conversation have happened as well? Most likely. If I got to spend those few more hours a week, just my dad and I, would my life possibly have taken a different path? Who kows? But one thing’s for sure, my father would have used it as a time to, in one way or another, pass along a life lesson here and there.
So I try to do the same. Maybe there are a few things that me and my boys may want to say to each other that can’t be said in front of their mother. Maybe there are things that we don’t want a stranger to hear. Maybe there are thoughts that just can’t be shared anywhere else other than out on the course, where secrets stay. And then there are the lessons the game of golf teaches in itself. Lessons about competitiveness, patience, courtesy and sportsmanship among others.
I’ve said many times before that there is much more to a round of golf than just the game itself. If you’re out on the course for nothing other than the game, then you have no idea what you’re actually missing. Golf is more than a game. Golf is a tool. It’s a tool that can be used to build and maintain relationships. It’s a tool for helping one learn how to deal with things in their everyday lives. It’s a tool that can be used to pass along ideas and lessons to younger generations.
Don’t get me wrong, my father and I had a fantastic relationship. We had other ways of bonding. He was my best friend. But after taking up the game myself and attempting to teach it to my kids, I now have a better understanding of that “more to a game of golf” thing. When I have the opportunity to play the game and spend the time with people that I truly care about, my friends and family, I have a deeper understanding of the game. It’s that deeper understanding that makes me wonder if my father may have hung up his clubs too soon. Or, perhaps I may have picked them up too late.
Swing ’til you’re happy!
