GolfStinks

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Four Letter Words In Golf.

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How’s your language on the golf course?

We all are very familiar with those, right? I’m pretty sure if you played at least one round of golf in your life you became subjected to these words pretty quickly. Funny thing, I’ve noticed these words can also be an indicator of how good a player you are.

Let’s take a closer look at this. Drawing from my basic knowledge of accounting, numbers don’t lie. Just like anything analytical or statistical it all comes down to numbers. So, besides that these are 4 letter words, how do numbers come into play? Glad you asked! It’s all about frequency. How often are these words used on the course.

Think about it. If you were to count how many times you used the “f” word, “s” word, or damn in a round and compare it over 10 rounds, you will notice that the higher the cursing the higher your score. Then there’s the other “f” word, which is the biggest indicator of how you are playing – fore.

“Fore” carries more weight than any other four letter word or curse you could conjure up on the ol’ track. If you have to use this word more than any of the other choice words you might want to reconsider if golf is right for you. Try a little experiment on your next few outings and see what you come up with.

Hit’em long…yell FORE!!! Just not too many times…

Is It Ok To Golf On My Honeymoon?

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I’ve been ponderinggolf honeymoon this question since getting engaged (oh yeah, by the way and thank you) a few months ago. I figured with so much stress and pressure with the planning and the actual wedding, it’ll be OK to squeeze in a round while on my honeymoon. I deserve it, right? Only problem is that she doesn’t golf. You know, the more I’m thinking about it the more it looks like I’ll be needing to brush up on my negotiating and convincing skills to pull this off.

Now, where do we actually go for a honeymoon? Do I secretly pull some Jedi mind tricks and subconsciously make her choose a spot conveniently near a golf course? Although, most honeymoon destinations are already conveniently located near a golf course…hey, how convenient!! That’s good because pulling that Jedi crap is mentally and physically draining.

Now, just when I thought I had it figured out, she drops the bomb – Let’s go to Europe! WTF, Europe! Looks like it’s time to regroup and work a new strategy. Let’s see, I have family in Europe and after doing a quick search, I didn’t realize there were so many golf courses in Switzerland. Ok, this could be good with a little planning and compromising…this just might work.

Looking good, looking good! Wait a minute, I don’t speak German. My family is in Italy! Time to break out the Rosetta Stone to sprechen sie deutsch and dust off my Golf knüppelt?

Hit’em long…yell FORE!!!

Investing In Golf.

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for saleI’ve been reading some interesting articles recently about investing and one of them brought up the opportunities for investing in the golf sector. When I think of golf and investing together it’s usually about someone who invests in other things to play golf. Not necessarily investing in golf to make money.

Some of the areas covered were equipment and technology but the biggest is obviously real estate. One would think now is the time to strike and buy up golf real estate. Rates are low, the market has dropped by half. Courses that were on the market for $5 million a few years ago sold last year for $2.5 million. Ouch!

Funny but true: Bloomberg Businessweek mentioned that when you invest in real estate, rarely are you given a mulligan. I’m guessing I’ll need to do my due diligence. And in doing so, my visions of owning a golf course at a discount price isn’t as promising as I first thought. Almost forgot about a key expense – maintenance. Although the price for the course is low, the cost to keep it looking good hasn’t really changed.

Oh well, I’ll just keep plugging away and dreaming.

Disclaimer: I am in no way qualified to tell people what to invest in nor what they should do with their money…but if you want to send me money I’ll take it. Keep it in denominations of $20 bills or less and unmarked…just saying.

Hit’em long…yell FORE!!!

Pro Golfer vs. Hack: Who has It Tougher?

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Does the pro golfer really have it tougher?

If someone had asked me a few years ago who has it tougher – a pro golfer vs.  a hack, I would have said pro. Today, I might have to reconsider. I never really gave this question much thought until watching a bit of a tournament recently. To sum it up, one of the golfers interviewed complained about having a “really bad day.” And then it hit me like a ton of bricks. How bad can this guy’s day have been? I mean, really, come on.

Somebody please tell me how bad it is to be playing golf professionally. I’m missing something here. Last time I checked it is very rare to actually like what you do, never mind getting paid out the backside to do so. Looking deeper into this, there are some key points that have been overlooked.

So, who has it tougher out there on the course? In order to answer this I feel we should start with the days leading up to the round. In a pro’s world, they prepare for their next round by…playing golf…because that’s what they do. And this is not to mention how much help pros get while their playing.

A hack’s preparation for an upcoming round is usually a full week’s worth of work at a job they hate so they can pay for the round. Couple that with some ball-breaking on the home front and toss in the stresses of being a middle class working stiff. Now, who’s ready for some golf?

Let’s look at what goes down during the actual round of golf. The pro is met with all types of fanfare. Their bags and what-not are tended to immediately. Not to mention their accommodations aren’t too shabby either. It is an overall warm welcome.

Now, the hack on the other hand is met with a starter that is so old and confused he has to double check your receipt because he thought you already teed off…and it’s 7:00 AM (plus the stench of that half smoked cigar he’s been chewing on for three days doesn’t help). You wait all week for this round and end up pissing yourself off because you got a snowman on the second hole…and it’s a par 3. You see where I’m going.

The point is the average hack, in my opinion, has it harder. I’m not saying the pro is privileged or special, they worked hard to get where they are. All I’m saying is that if you are in a position where your work is playing golf and you’re making a lot of money, don’t complain about having a bad day. YOU ARE PLAYING GOLF…FOR MONEY.

Hit’em long…yell FORE!!!

Michael Phelps, Deer Antler Velvet & Getting Drunk.

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800px-Red_deer_stag
Oh Mr. Stag, mind if I have some of that velvet for my golf game? (photo by Mehmet Karatay / CC BY-SA 3.0)

What the…? Yesterday, I decided to see what’s new in golf and in doing so, the headlines had me shoot soda out of my nose because I was laughing so hard. I feel like I have been under a rock with the happenings in pro golf. I don’t even know where to start.

Well, for starters I see the headlines “Phelps signs with Ping”. I’m thinking to myself how funny it would be if this was Michael Phelps…it was. Ok, he must be a pretty damn good golfer to be picked up by Ping or is it some marketing ploy to have famous people endorsing your product? Although, Phelps does have aspirations to return to the Olympics in 2016 only this time as a smoker…I mean golfer. Oops…

What really had me in hysterics was the story of Vijay Singh pulling out of the Phoenix Open because he was taking some deer antler velvet concoction. I do admire the honesty this man has but really, deer antlers? Maybe this deer antler velvet potion contains a substance that could be a performance enhancing drug but come on Vijay, everybody knows a tall glass of bull urine is the way to go before a round! Just ask John Daly, oh wait that’s vodka.

Speaking of the Phoenix Open and John Daly, a buddy of mine that lives in the area mentioned he will be attending today’s activities at the TPC Scottsdale. Pretty cool! I wouldn’t mind being there this weekend. An event like that has got to have a ton of stuff to check out. So I asked him what his plan of action was for today…his answer? Get drunk. WTF!

Hit’em long…yell FORE!!!

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