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Four Letter Words In Golf.

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How’s your language on the golf course?

We all are very familiar with those, right? I’m pretty sure if you played at least one round of golf in your life you became subjected to these words pretty quickly. Funny thing, I’ve noticed these words can also be an indicator of how good a player you are.

Let’s take a closer look at this. Drawing from my basic knowledge of accounting, numbers don’t lie. Just like anything analytical or statistical it all comes down to numbers. So, besides that these are 4 letter words, how do numbers come into play? Glad you asked! It’s all about frequency. How often are these words used on the course.

Think about it. If you were to count how many times you used the “f” word, “s” word, or damn in a round and compare it over 10 rounds, you will notice that the higher the cursing the higher your score. Then there’s the other “f” word, which is the biggest indicator of how you are playing – fore.

“Fore” carries more weight than any other four letter word or curse you could conjure up on the ol’ track. If you have to use this word more than any of the other choice words you might want to reconsider if golf is right for you. Try a little experiment on your next few outings and see what you come up with.

Hit’em long…yell FORE!!! Just not too many times…

Screaming on the Golf Course

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Are you a fairway screamer?
Are you a golf course screamer?

I got an email from an old college buddy recently, let’s call him Stinky Golfer Smith, to say he was going to be in my area and wanted to drop by.

Anyway, thinking of Smith always reminds me of Monica Seles (you know – the tennis player) because she always used to put audible emotion into her swing whenever she hit the ball.

Well, Smith was no different when golfing – see video below. (CAUTION: Check your speaker volume first)!

For a game in which players are supposed to remain relatively quiet, it sure can get noisy out there. For example, one of the co-founder here at GolfStinks (Stinky Golfer Tom) really let’s you know it when an errant shot is headed your way.

Tom’s blood-curdling “FORE!” can be heard throughout the course – seriously, people on every hole are ducking for cover. And if you’re on the tee with him, you better cover your ears or risk damaging your ear drum.

But yelling “fore” is not only acceptable, it’s considered poor course etiquette if you don’t. I suppose missing a 2-foot putt because you were distracted by someone yelling fore is better than missing the next few rounds after taking one off the noggin.

But what about other yelling and screaming on the course? Racking your brain to think of any? How about this:

“Hey, Bob! What’s the distance from there!?”

“Mary! What club did you use!?”

“Wow, Jim! You really hit the [bleep] out of that one!”

“Don’t worry, Jane! I saw where it landed!”

We scream these and other similar phases across the fairways at each other all the time (and in case you’re wondering, this is indeed poor etiquette – and, asking what club your playing partner used is even illegal).

If I blow a 2-foot putt because some fool is in the fairway behind me screaming to his foursome that he found his first drive, I’d be kinda upset. Come to think of it, the video above is a blatant display of poor etiquette. Funny? Yes. Poor etiquette? Absolutely.

So consider this post the next time you have the urge to scream across the fairway. And try not to be Monica Seles when teeing off…except maybe when it’s the last hole and money is on the line, because it seems to be rather effective (I didn’t forget, Smith – I still owe you a beer).

But I Yelled Fore…

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Bursitis_Elbow_WCHave you ever been struck by a golf ball? I’ve come close to being hit on a few different occasions. One time, years ago, my father sliced one so bad he sent me and my uncle scurrying from the bench that was parallel to the tee-box!

Another time, I had a ball bounce into my cart after striking the path directly in front of me. It ricocheted inside the cart a few times, then shot-out the back and into the fairway – it was pretty unnerving. And of course, there have been other balls that landed “too-close-for-comfort,” but fortunately, nothing serious.

So, have you ever hit someone with a golf ball? I have. I had just teed-off on the sixth-hole of a local mortar range when I noticed my ball was heading directly toward a person who was walking directly toward me from the adjacent fairway. I let out a blood-curdling “FORE!!!!” Everyone on the course hit-the-deck (including everyone in my group). Everyone, that was, save for the one person my “FORE!!!!” was intended towards.

Needless-to-say, my ball careened off this guy’s enormous gut, bounced through the rough and rolled back into my fairway. I mean, he left me an awesome approach – seriously, it was probably my best lie of the day. Anyway, the guy didn’t go down…he just kept walking! So I sheepishly approached him as he lumbered closer to me. “Sorry,” I said. “but I yelled fore…Are you OK?” “That’s alright,” he replied. “I’m hard of hearing!” WTF?

I’m sure most veteran golfers have a few good stories. But looking back on it, I got lucky. I mean, I could have been sued! It happens all the time – so much so, a recent article suggested it’s a good idea for all golfers to get golf insurance: “For a small cost, golfers can insure themselves against injuring another player during a round, having their golf equipment stolen, damaging property with a poorly hit shot, and even insured against having to pay for a round of drinks, the traditional ‘reward’ for achieving a hole in one.” Hahaha – drinks for a hole-in-one! There’s something I’ll probably never put a claim in for!

But seriously, do we really need golf insurance? I’ve been playing over 20 years and never even considered it…and I’ve hit a guy! Well, I guess the answer is, it depends on where you live. In the UK, courts mostly rule that golfers are liable for shots that cause injury, no matter how slight the risk and regardless of whether you yell fore. Thus there are a number of different golf insurance companies in the UK offering competitive prices ($2-$3 a day) and multiple coverage options. In the US however, court decisions are pretty much the opposite.

Court cases in the United States typically side with the defendant, claiming one takes an “assumed risk” while on the course. This stems from the prevailing thought in American law that for sports, there can be no fault from negligence-related injuries or those resulting from conduct that is considered part of the game. Basically, unless a golfer acts recklessly, it’s tough for a plaintiff to win their case – even if no one yells fore!

This is not to say you no longer have to yell fore here in the States. Please, please, please CONTINUE to yell fore! And if the person is hearing impaired, pray he has a nice, big gut to cushion the blow…

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