Is your wife the type who hates when you head out for a day of golf with your buddies? Maybe she’s the type who doesn’t mind when you golf and, often times, is happy to see you get the hell out of the house? Or…is she the type who would like nothing more than to head to the course with you? If you can narrow it down, then lucky you. My situation is a little different. Depending upon the day, and I’m still working on how exactly to read it, my wife could be any one of those three!
It’s amazing to meet a person who can look at an activity such as golf and, all in the same thought, think “It’s a boring, pointless and stupid sport. You should go play today. Can I go with you?” What the hell?! So in this ball of confusion, today we’re going to explore wife #1 – The wife who hates when I golf.
Did you ever notice there is always something to do? Did you ever notice there is just not enough time in the day? Did you ever notice that, no matter how hard you try, you just can’t finish the things that need to be done and there’s always more to do tomorrow? Don’t be fooled. None of this is true. The reason you feel this way is because of your wife! She makes things up and tricks you into believing you are too busy to go golfing! Don’t fall for it! It’s a trap! There is always tomorrow to get things done. And if tomorrow never comes, then what did it matter if the garage was cleaned anyway?
Maybe your wife uses the “we don’t spend enough time together” excuse when you want to disappear for an entire Saturday. I don’t get it. I just spent the past, physician-recommended, eight hours right next to her! As a matter of fact, I’ve done that almost every night for the past few years! But she doesn’t think this meets the criteria to be considered “quality time.” But somehow, wandering the halls of the local mall with the other zombies and their wives does. You wanna explain that? You can’t, can you? Well enough trying to explain, it’s time to act.
The next time your wife wants to get her hair or nails done, remind her that she wanted to rearrange the bedroom or living room furniture and today would be the perfect day to get that done. When you finish that up, mention the kitchen that she was so anxious to get painted. I would be willing to bet those things could be put on hold now.
As far as the quality time thing goes…I’m all for spending quality time with the wife. It’s of vital importance to your marriage. So when she mentions it, you should appease her. Get on the computer, purchase some tickets to the game (any game really – baseball, football, basketball, hockey…) and take her along. Explain to her this is something you would normally do with your friends, but you’re having a much better time with her and look forward to doing it again next Saturday! The teams logo painted from your chest down to your gut which is jiggling while you wildly wave your shirt over your head is a nice touch. She should get the point.
I figure there are two ways this can go for you:
#1 – She gets the picture and you can golf often enough to keep you satisfied. Don’t push it though or you may end up with…
#2 – She is so infuriated with your lack of compassion for her needs and she wants a divorce. 99% of the time, divorce is bad. I do not endorse divorce.
However, and you didn’t hear this from me, it will free up your Saturdays.