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Only You John Daly…Only You

November 5, 2010 | By Pete Girotto | Leave a Comment

I have to give Mr. Daly credit. He might not be the best role model for the young golfers out there but, I admire his honesty. A couple weeks back he was signing a copy of his book “My Life In And Out Of The Rough” (hmmmmm…you could also replace the word “Rough” with other stuff like “Bottle” or “Most Ridiculous Pants”). Anyway, he supposedly told a Charlotte, NC newspaper that he was happier as a miserable drunk and that he played better drunk.

Come on John, don’t sugar coat it! Tell us how you really feel. He also went on to mention that he hasn’t had a drink in two years and that the more he works on his game sober, the worse he gets. And he hasn’t been in the top 10 in the last 4 years, to boot. Well, I guess that puts the kibosh on a possible career in motivational or public speaking when he retires from golf. Could you imagine if he was to speak at an AA meeting?

This brings me to my next issue. What’s up with the threads? I’m going to chalk his wardrobe up to the booze. Oh no? You tell me…

Could these pants be symbolic? Is he going “Tiger” hunting in his red and black? Nah, you can blame Jack Daniels.

Ok…Ringling Bros. might be hiring if this golf thing doesn’t pan out.

Aloha…

John Daly, you ol’ motor boatin’ son of a b, I didn’t know you were such a fan of John Holmes?

John, please tell me this is for breast cancer awareness.

You know what John, we might bust them on you a little now and again, but in my book, you’re an honest, stand-up (maybe wobbly at times but standing up nonetheless) guy. Thanks for keeping us smiling…

Hit’em long, yell FORE!

Filed Under: Uncategorized Tagged With: golf stinks, golfstinks, jack daniels, John Daly, ringling bros., tiger

Hooking On The Golf Course (And I Don’t Mean My Ball)…

January 15, 2010 | By Pete Girotto | Leave a Comment

320px-Wiki-prostituteThis is great! All this extra time to go and dig up great golf stories in the off-season. You know, now that the whole Tiger debacle has finally quieted down a bit, I figured I would revisit the world’s oldest profession and it’s run-in’s with golf.

Check this out, in October of ’09, 36-year-old Melanie Kozik was arrested for “willing to engage in prostitution and maintaining a brothel.” Here’s the kicker, she offered (wink, wink) “Golf Lessons” on Craigslist as the ploy. Kozik, who had previously admitted to prostitution, stated she made $1,500 a week disguising golf lessons as prostitution. That’s it…are you f*$%#ing kidding me?!?! $1,500 a week to sell your ass? Come on Mel, if you applied your entrepreneurial skills to a legit biz you could have made that legally.
http://www.mysuncoast.com/Global/story.asp?S=11266342

Moving on to Prairie Village, Kansas, two women got arrested for running a prostitution ring that involved using a church’s parking lot and a golf course. Really girls? A church’s parking lot? The story goes on to say that the girls would use the golf course as a place to dance for- and recruit new clients. I guess the “19th” hole has a whole new meaning. Oh! ba-dum!
http://sportsbybrooks.com/do-golf-course-prostitutes-wear-stiletto-spikes-23455

Back in ’02 at Hidden Valley Golf Club (please save the salad dressing jokes) two of the course managers and a tournament organizer were sentenced to house arrest for having some prostitutes do their thing at a golf tournament. The tournament cost about 2 fazools ($200 for those that never saw Donnie Brasco) with about 160 players. Funny part was that a bunch of players didn’t even bother to bring their clubs!

Officials reported that over a dozen prostitutes and strippers, including one that was 16, set up tents and…wait a minute…they set up tents? Dude, that’s friggin’ hysterical! “Hey guys, how about you come inside and sink your putz…?” or even better, they had signs advertising their services. Like what? “Come on in to get your shaft fitted?”
http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,137720,00.html

Until the next time…may your balls always find the hole.

Filed Under: Golf Life Tagged With: golf balls, golf club, hooker, prostitute, shaft, tiger

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