I enjoy nearly all the golf courses I play…truly, I do. But there are some annoyances that make even a great course lose some of its luster. Here are a few of those annoyances:
1. When There’s no Yardage Markers
Ever play a course with those 150-yardage polls in the middle of the fairways? I wish all golf courses used those. I don’t mind the red, white and blue discs either – they’re old school, but they do the trick. But when a course has no yardage markers, that just gets my goat. What am I supposed to do, count-out my paces to the center of the green and then walk back to my ball? Some courses use an ambiguous shrub as the 150 marker – which sort of works, until that one hole where you can’t tell which little shrub is the marker: “I thought the little boxwood was the 150 but it was really the little pine tree – oh well, I only overshot the green by 30 yards.”
2. When There’s Not Enough Water Jugs
It’s hot and it’s humid. You arrive at the 3rd hole and there’s a water jug waiting for you. You think; “Cool, this course has a water jug every few holes.” But then you don’t come to another one till the 16th. WTF? On like 11, you begin seeing water jug mirages. By the 16th, you can spot the water jug 50 yards away – calling to you like an oasis in the Sahara. Come on courses – get with the program! There needs to be at least 2 jugs per 9-holes – that’s just common human kindness.
3. When You Need a Hammer to Get the Tee in the Ground
I’ve actually broken tees before trying to force them into the ground. Why is this even an issue? Water the freaking tee-box for crying out loud! There used to be this 9-hole track in my neighborhood that all the old timers would play. I kid you not – almost every one of them carried a rubber mallet in their bag to bang the tee into the ground on various holes. It got so bad they actually convinced management to replace some of the tee-box turf with driving range mats. Pathetic.
4. When it’s Cart Paths Only
Why am I even taking a cart? Look, I understand the course wants to keep it’s fairways nice, but cart path only is ridiculous. At least make it 90 degrees! Enough said.
5. When it’s Carts Only
I know, I know – it helps speed up play on the weekends. But to force people to ride is a bit greedy, no? Most courses already charge more to play on the weekend anyway. But when they mandate carts on the weekend too, it just gives them the justification to jack the price up even further. If some golfers want to walk, they should be able to. If someone starts slowing up foursomes behind them, then have a ranger tell them to speed it up. Ah, but having a ranger out on the course costs money, whereas having a mandatory cart rule makes money…it all makes sense to me now.
6. When You Can’t Call Ahead to Order Food at the Turn
Every course should do this. Is it too hard to put a menu on the 9th-tee (perhaps taped to the water jug) with the phone number of the 19th-Hole? It would help keep the pace of play moving if your food is ready for you when you make the turn.
7. When there’s no 19th-Hole
Believe it or not, there are 19th-holeless courses out there. No beer, no wings, no hot dogs. Some of these courses will point you in the direction of the vending machines when you’re hungry or thirsty. This is just unAmerican.
8. When Holes are Too Close Together
Either they didn’t have enough room to build the course in the first place, or it’s just poorly designed. But there’s no reason to be ducking on the tee from balls headed to a green 10 yards to your left. I actually hit a guy with my tee-shot at a local mortar range some years ago because the holes were so close to each other. See my story HERE.
9. When There are Too Many Signs
Some courses have gotten so fed up with people getting hit (probably due to the holes being too close together); misusing carts; or trying to get golfers to follow the local rules; that they end up plastering signs all over the course. Not only is this an eyesore (see photo at top), but it’s the last thing you want to see when you’re just trying to have a nice day on the course. It’s almost like they’re yelling at you before you even tee-off. You know, this kind of stuff wouldn’t happen if these courses accepted tee-times, paced them 7 minutes apart and had a ranger making sure things go smoothly out on the course. Ah, but having a ranger out on the course costs money, whereas plastering signs up everywhere is far cheaper…(why does this sound familiar?)
10. When the Customer Service is Poor
If I’m forking over my hard-earned cash to play 18, the last thing I want is some pro shop punk with an attitude or a grouchy starter. Sometimes it seems the staff’s whole mission is to get you through 18-holes as fast as humanly possible so they can squeeze more groups in. Whatever happened to golf being a gentlemen’s game? I’m not saying a bag boy needs to clean your clubs after the round, but a little hospitality would be nice.
