Stinky Golfer Paradise

Imagine brilliantly clear blue sky on a warm afternoon in early spring. A gentle breeze carries the scent of new blossoms, while the songs of distant birds seem abstract from your concentration. The sounds of nature are disrupted briefly by the swoosh of a golf club, followed by what seems to be complete and utter silence…then, a splash.

Yep – I just plunked a 100-yard approach shot into the drink and I’m totally fine with it. Am I nuts? Probably. But I’m not alone. You see, people don’t merely play golf; they experience it. Immersed in the sights, sounds and smells of the outdoors; the camaraderie among friends; and a dash of competitiveness – the game assimilates you among the many crazed addicts of this sport.

It’s true. The economy has tanked; scores are unemployed; but the golf faithful are still out on the course. “Golfers are a different breed; we’re basically a bunch of lunatics,” says Golf Digest senior writer Steve Donahue. Through a promotion with Excalibur Cigars, I had a chance to speak with Steve recently and he thinks the game is doing “pretty well despite the down economy.” It seems we golfers “find a way to happily fork-over our greens fees even if it means not being able to eat that day.”

While I’m not sure I’d be willing to risk starvation to hit the links, Steve does have a point. My friend has been out of work (for months) and is still playing; I have a baby on the way (my first) and I’m still playing; the president is waging war (two of them) and he’s still playing. In fact, everyone seems to be still playing golf! Steve recalls the most recent statistics he’s viewed show the number of rounds played have only declined by 1 percent since the economic woes began – only 1 percent! That being said, what strikes me as the nuttiest fact is most of us aren’t even good at this game!

In case you’re wondering, 99 percent of golfers can’t shoot anywhere near par…and that tells me one thing: We play this game because we love it. And in the 21st-centruy, golf is no longer just for rich men. Over the last 20 years, golf has exploded to include more than just the country club snob (the Judge Smails if you will). These days, golfers are teachers, executives, cashiers, doctors, car salesman and sanitation engineers. We’re also mothers, fathers and grandparents.

According to Steve, “…the great thing about golf is you can rub elbows with folks from all walks of life.” You’ll get paired-up with a group of people you’ve never met before and “it seems like they’ve been your friend forever when you walk away after the round.” This “bonding” starts on the first tee-box with the notion that “everybody else is just as nervous and insecure on the first tee as you are.” That inevitably leads to good conversation during the round. Seriously, during the heat of competition in other sports, can you really tell a joke or talk politics?

This all points to why golf is a unique sport. You don’t have to be good at it to love it. You also don’t have to be young to play it. Think about that for a second; do you know many beer-league softball players over 60? Then there’s the fact you can tee-off alone too. I mean, I can go out and have the whole course to myself – try that in tennis and you’ll end up hitting a ball against a wall for two hours. Finally, there’s the course itself. I’m of the opinion that no two courses are exactly alike. Sure, most of them have 18-holes, but they all have something unique to them – I’ve lost my ball in the ocean, in the desert, in the forest – even in a rock quarry…Yep, I’ve triple-bogied many of the coolest holes I’ve played and I’d do it all again.

Steve Donahue writes for one of the most popular golf publications in the world and Golf Digest spends a good amount of time covering the pro tours. But even Steve admits for the pros, it’s not about having fun: “Look at the PGA Tour players; they’re the greatest players in the world. How many of them look like they’re having a good time? Not many of them.” And that’s the thing – while the rest of us would all like to get better, it’s not just about being good – golf isn’t our job, it’s our passion. There’s something about the way you can relax out on the course; something about spending time with good friends far removed from your everyday lives; something about being immersed in nature’s entire splendor.

The reality is I’m not going to make the PGA Tour anytime soon (or the Hooters Tour for that matter). But that’s OK. Just being on the course is reason enough to celebrate. So, give me a nice Honduran stogie on the first tee; a couple cold ones in the 19th-hole; and everything that happens in between really doesn’t matter in the long run. Yep, there certainly is something about golf…