“Better” is a relative term. On the one hand, getting better implies fixing all your problems (think: I was sick, but now I’m better). Translated for golf, this would mean you once had a double-digit handicap, but you’re now a scratch golfer (I don’t have to tell you how impossible that is to accomplish).

On the other hand, “better” (note the quotation marks) implies you are now simply more successful at something than you were previously. It is this “better” that we stinky golfers need to strive for.

Last week, I posted about a new book entitled Golf Sense that aims to help golfers get “better” by focusing on the mental part of the game. And, I fully intend to use some of the tactics in Golf Sense to try and get “better.” But what will “better” mean for me and my game?

As fellow golfer and Pulitzer Prize-winning columnist Mike Royko wrote years ago about our sport:

“…if you picked up an ad that said you could suddenly become a sensational baseball player if you bought a particular baseball glove or bat, you would snort in disbelief. But open any golf publication and you will see page after page of ads that claim this golf stick will give you incredible distance, that golf ball will defy gravity and this golf book will give you the 10 secrets of the ancient Scots to the perfect golf swing. It’s all nonsense…but [golfers] rush to buy the ball with the most dimples, the driver with the meteorite head, the putter with the heel-toe-eye-ear-nose weighting. Then, after they swing and the ball plops into a bush behind them, they wonder, ‘Can the problem be me?'”

The short answer is; Yes, the problem is you. And there’s probably not much you can do about it. But every year, stinky golfers fork over tons of their hard-earned cash on the latest gadgets and clubs hoping it will land us on the pro tour (or at least as the local club champion). But are we just setting ourselves up to fail?

You see, I think the real quick fix is to accept the fact that you stink. Once this hurdle has been cleared, things will get much easier. You will be able to go out and enjoy a round without fussing over your triple-digit score. No more fretting over hitting a ball into the lumber yard; No more club-tossing into the pond on 13; No more, well…anger. If you flub one 3 feet off the first tee, there’s no need to be embarrassed…you stink; that’s what you’re supposed to do!

Ah, but that’s easier said than done. The truth is, I try to not care. Really, I do. If I knock one down off the tee, I’ll laugh it off. But deep down, I know I’m “better” than that – so it kinda bothers me. It also bothers me when I have a bad round (we wouldn’t call it a “bad round” if we didn’t care).

But every golfer should have his or her own definition of what “better” means. For some, breaking 100 is “better.” If you fall into that category, you should be ecstatic the day you shoot a 99. Do you still stink? Absolutely. But are you “better?” Most definitely! Are you beating yourself up over not shooting a 72? Hell no! You’re framing that 99 and mounting it over the mantle. Yep, “better” is a relative term and stinky golfers need to appreciate baby steps.

For me, I’d consider “better” being in a good frame of mind while playing. If I can just go out there and relax – not worry about my score and keep myself loose, I think I’d be happier. And I’m hoping that calm state of mind will shave a few strokes off my game in the process. If that happens, will I be a pro? Hardly. But I’ll be “better” at something I love to do, which is just dandy with me.