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That Ever Elusive Ace

January 5, 2015 | By Chris Chirico | Leave a Comment

There are a few things on every golfers list that they would like to achieve – some of it based on skill level.  Newbies and stinky golfers, for instance, may want to break 100.  Still stinky, but maybe a little more skilled golfers, may look to break 90.  The better at this game we get, breaking 80 may become a goal.  And then the best of us amateurs eventually may push to shoot, or even break par.  But no matter the skill level, be it a PGA pro or your average, everyday hack, the old hole-in-one is an achievement that every golfer wants to check off their list one day.  So when someone gets their hole-in one, you’re happy for them.  But what about when someone gets more than one?

Gus Andreone
Gus Andreone (photo by Tom Balog – golf.heraldtribune.com)

Has anyone heard about Gus Andreone?  Gus has been playing golf longer than most of us have been alive.  And he has a hole-in-one total that will make us all envious.  Gus has a total of eight aces since 1939.  Eight!  OK, granted, that’s a span of 75 years.  But if you do the math, that works out to one every nine or so years.  So by that math, I should be working on my second one.  But instead, in my golf career, I’ve only come pretty close once or twice.

Now, as if Gus having eight aces isn’t enough, to rub it in our faces even more…he just recorded the latest one a couple of weeks ago…at the age of 103.  How’s that feel?  A 103-year old man has now done for the eight time something that most of us, even in the primes of our careers, will never do.

On a good note, he has been playing golf for at least 75 years.  Many of us hope to live for 75 years!  He’s been playing golf for at least that long!  Maybe if I can put together a golfing lifespan even remotely close to that amount of time, I too can record at least one hole-in-one.

Swing ’til you’re happy!

Filed Under: Stinky Golfer Paradise Tagged With: ace, Gus Andreone, hole in one

Man Sentenced for Defrauding Charity Golf Tournaments

February 12, 2014 | By Greg D'Andrea | Leave a Comment

holeinoneprizeAs if hitting a hole-in-one isn’t hard enough…

Image this: You’re playing in a local charity golf tournament and arrive at the par 3 designated as the “hole-in-one challenge.” The rules are simple – ace the hole and win $25,000! You step up to the tee; waggle; and swing…and watch as your ball lands softly a few yards before the hole and then rolls into the cup.

The celebration begins; you buy everyone in the tournament a round of drinks in the 19th hole and wait to receive your check for 25 grand. But there’s one catch: There is no check. Turns out the insurance the tournament organizers took out on the hole-in-one challenge was fraudulent.

According to an article in The Seattle Times, Kevin Kolenda – a man in his early 50’s from GolfStinks’ home state of Connecticut – had made good money over the past two decades scamming golf tournament organizers (or even in some cases – the charities sponsoring the outing) out of money by selling them fraudulent prize insurance.

Since 1995, Mr. Kolenda has operated a golf-related business that provides insurance on things like a hole-in-one challenge. His fees would depend on how much the payout was to be, but needless to say, payouts rarely happened – a fact Mr. Kolenda apparently took advantage of for profit.

Since 2003, authorities have been aware of Mr. Kolenda’s scams as periodically someone would “win” the prize but he would fail to pay. At one point in 2004 he was issued a cease and desist order, but ignored it.

It wasn’t until this past December that the state of Washington (where many of his scams took place) decided to arrest him – and to that end, they extradited him from his home in Connecticut to stand trial in Washington.

Finally, last week, Mr. Kolenda was sentenced to three months in prison and fined $15,000.

So tournament organizers beware – charlatans are out there. This guy exploited the fact that hole-in-ones, in general, are extremely rare – let alone specifying when and where you get one – like a particular hole at a golf tournament. Beyond this, he took advantage of real charities in need.

Somehow, three months and $15K doesn’t seem a fitting punishment. Perhaps as a community service, he should help shag all the balls on local driving ranges…without wearing any protective gear. Hey, he shouldn’t be too nervous – after all, hole-in-one’s are extremely rare.

Filed Under: Uncategorized Tagged With: charity, golf news, golf tournament, hole in one

Crazy Golf Shots I’ve Witnessed

September 18, 2013 | By Greg D'Andrea | Leave a Comment

Golfstinks crazy golf shotsWhen you’ve played golf for a quarter of a century like I have, you’ve seen some crazy things. And while I don’t claim to have seen the unbelievable, I have witnessed some wacky shots in my day.

Let’s begin when my father first started playing golf. Instead of my father introducing the game to me, I introduced it to him. My father was a baseball player and later a bowler and weekend softball warrior. When I started golfing in my early teens, my dad recognized he was missing out on father/son time, so he got himself a set of clubs and I started showing him the ropes.

On his second time out on the links, we were standing on the tee of a par 3 and he asked what club he should use. It was 160 yards to the pin and I knew based on his skill level at the time the shot would probably take everything he had in his bag. I handed him the driver and he topped one that barley cleared a stream; landed about 15 yards from the green; bounced on; and rolled to within 2 inches of the cup. He sunk the putt for bird and I tapped in for double. But the fact that he nearly aced a hole his second time ever playing has stuck with me for over 20 years (especially considering I’m still searching for that elusive hole-in-one).

A few years later, I was playing at a different course with one of my golf buddies and we were on a 200-yard par 3. I put mine in the greenside bunker and my friend hit a worm-burner dead left. I remember thinking as the ball left his club-face that he was going to be in worse shape than me.

A split-second later, his ball landed on the cart path and rocketed for another 100 yards until it hit the curb of the path; careened up in the air and towards the green; landed about 15 feet away from the pin; and rolled to within 2 inches of the cup. He sunk the putt for bird and I tapped in for double.

More recently, the GolfStinks crew was standing on the tee box of a par 4 when our co-founder, Stinky Golfer Tom, shanked his drive into the woods immediately adjacent to the tee box. We heard (but did not see) the ball hit a tree about 20 yards into the woods. A split second later, the ball came shooting back out of the thickets; hit the ground about 20 feet in front of us and bounced directly back towards Tom…who promptly caught the ball one-handed; re-teed and roped one straight down the middle. Of course we all simultaneously reminded him he was laying 3 in the fairway.

While we’re talking about Stinky Golfer Tom, he and I were playing a long par 4 one time, years ago. This particular hole had an elevated tee box that was set back from the cart path a bit. On that day, the tees were back somewhat and for whatever reason, Tom had convinced himself he could hit his driver off the deck (e.g. without teeing it up).

So Tom hauled off and absolutely ripped a drive that had uncanny sinking action. The next moments are embedded into my mind in slow motion: The ball headed directly towards the back of our cart; split our two bags perfectly; and exploded through the windshield on the other side, leaving a volleyball-sized hole in its wake. I’d like to say we did the right thing and told management, but we didn’t. We were young and the thought of having to pay for a new windshield scared us. So we finished our round, parked the cart amongst many others by the clubhouse and made haste to the parking lot (the whole time nervous someone would come running after us).

The last crazy shot was my own. I hit my drive a decent ways, but it sliced last second into the woods on the righthand side of the fairway of a par 5. The best I could do from there was a punch-out into the fairway…except I flubbed it and had to settle for punching my third shot back out into the fairway.

I was now sitting about 205 yards to the green, which was surrounded by woods and guarded by several bunkers. Throwing caution to the wind, I pulled out my 4 iron and crushed one right at the flag. The ball landed on the green and rolled toward the hole and wedged itself between the pin and cup…and then a moment later, it dropped in. Immediately the rest of my group began hootin’ ‘n hollerin’ over what great an eagle I had just gotten. They were so excited, I didn’t have the heart to tell them it was only a birdie.

Filed Under: Stinky Golfer Paradise Tagged With: crazy golf shot, golf, golf shot, hole in one

Did You See That Shot?!?!

October 12, 2012 | By Pete Girotto | 2 Comments

We’ve all been there before and it’s what keeps most of us coming back. That one shot struck so perfectly we forget how bad we’re actually playing. We’ve discussed this topic before but wouldn’t it be cool to replay that shot whenever we wanted?

I was watching a show about how dashboard cameras in police cruisers have become a useful tool for both the officer and the civilian.Thanks to these cameras, a lot of questions have been answered. Was the officer justified in beating the crap out of someone? Let’s check the tapes and review. Not only that but these videos can be used for future training too.

So, what about putting a camera on our golf carts? Maybe even certain spots on the course as well? I also understand some don’t want the eye in the sky and might feel their privacy infringed upon but I thought it would be pretty cool to record yourself hitting that perfect shot. Who knows, maybe even catching a hole-in-one. Granted we’ll also be able to save those not so perfect shots for posterity too.

Golf courses can capitalize on this. They can take the raw footage, edit it and for a small fee make a nice little package for us hacks. Not only did you hit the ace…you can prove it!

Hit’em long…yell FORE!!!

Filed Under: Uncategorized Tagged With: cameras, golf, golf cart, hole in one, police

Book Review: Little Balls Big Dreams

May 25, 2011 | By Golf Stinks | Leave a Comment

golfstinks golf stinksYou know that feeling you get when you hit a ball on the sweet spot of the club? When everything clicks – a smooth, fluid swing; perfect balance; solid contact…And, of course, the ball goes exactly where you intended it to go. You think to yourself; “If I could only hit it that way all the time.”

We all have those “perfect” shots inside us, we just need to work on hitting more than one a round (or season…or lifetime). But what if one perfect shot led to another and another and before you knew it, everything you ever learned about how to correctly swing a golf club connected both physically and mentally on a regular basis? Sounds a bit fantastical, doesn’t it? One shot and BAM! You’re a scratch golfer. Come on, that’s the stuff of fiction.

Well, actually, it is the stuff of fiction – in James Wolf’s novel “Little Balls Big Dreams” that’s exactly what happens to Matt True, the story’s lead character. Matt is your average guy in his 40s with a wife, kids and an 11 handicap. That is, until one day at his local club, he hits that “perfect” shot on the par 3, 6th hole. Everything connected – a smooth, fluid swing; perfect balance; solid contact…And, of course, the ball went exactly where he intended it to go…in this case, right in the hole for an ace.

But things didn’t end there for Matt. He knew deep down that the ace changed him. He was confident that he could reproduce that swing every time and with similar results…and he was correct – he finished his round at two under par (pretty impressive for an 11 handicap). After that, Matt continued to play scratch golf and he quickly began to resurrect his teenage dreams of becoming a pro golfer on tour. And that’s where the story really begins.

In Little Balls Big Dreams, Mr. Wolf takes you on an adventure of “what if.” What if you could become a scratch golfer after just one, game-changing shot? What would you do? Would you put yourself through Q-school when most of the players there are half your age? Would you sacrifice your family life and your stable job for a shot at life on the PGA Tour? Would your spouse even let you give it a go?

This short novel (167 pages) takes you on Matt’s journey to answer these questions and follow his dreams. I found myself seriously thinking about what I would do if I suddenly were a scratch golfer. And I could relate to the conversations Matt had with his wife over him pursuing his dream. And I could also relate to his concerns about being away from his children for long stretches of time. The only thing I couldn’t relate to was the feeling of being an awesome golfer – so until that happens, I guess I’m not really sure what I would do.

But in the book, you can sit back and enjoy how the story unfolds – how Matt’s decisions lead him to where he ends up when the last page is turned. Little Balls Big Dreams is a thought-provoking and entertaining story of golf, family, dreams and what really matters when you get right down to it.

You can purchase Little Balls Big Dreams HERE. Remember, Father’s Day is coming up!

Filed Under: Reviews Tagged With: ace, book review, golf book, hole in one, james wolf, little balls big dreams, pya tour, q-school

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