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Golf…Can’t Live With It, Can’t Live Without It.

January 14, 2011 | By Pete Girotto | 1 Comment

Why is this game so complicated? In order to answer that question we need to take a look back at its roots. We need to understand the foundation it was raised on.

So, when you combine something like single-malt scotches, bagpipes and skirts…excuse me…kilts, there’s your answer…just kidding! But I have an inkling that the scotch was fundamental in creating golf.

The complexity of this game always amazes me. You can run yourself ragged one day on the course and the next day it’s a walk in the park. I guess all those sayings golfers have are true. Here’s a few of my favorites:

  • The reason the pro tells you to keep your head down is so you can’t see him laughing.
  • I’m not saying my golf game went bad, but if I grew tomatoes, they’d come up sliced.
  • Golf is a game in which you yell “fore,” shoot six, and write down five.
  • Have you ever noticed what golf spells backwards?
  • You can make a lot of money in this game. Just ask my ex-wives. Both of them are so rich that neither of their husbands work.
  • Golf can drive me nuts and bring me joy at the same time and I guess it’s this love-hate relationship that keeps me coming back.

    Hit’em long…yell FORE!!! When’s this snow gonna melt…?

    Filed Under: Uncategorized Tagged With: golf history, golf sayings, golf stinks, golfstinks, humor, scotch

    Off-Season? Golf Has An Off-Season?

    January 10, 2011 | By Chris Chirico | 2 Comments

    Can someone please help me out with a few things here? Is the golf season officially underway right now? Are there actual tournaments going on? Didn’t the 2010 season just end? I swear I just saw something about Steve Stricker tied for the lead in a tournament.

    How is this possible? Why would this be happening right now? I think what I’m saying is, it’s no wonder there are fewer and fewer people golfing or taking up the game of golf every year. Golf has just about everything going against it right now.

    The first problem is; I had no idea there were any tournaments even happening! I’m sure many of you who are reading this were well-aware that golf was underway. But not me. I’m sure I’ve made it clear by now I am a very casual golf fan. Playing golf…sure! Watching golf…ehh….not so much. But when a golf tournament is competing with the NFL playoffs? I’m sorry, but out of 100 times, the golf tournament will lose 101. How can the PGA golf season kick-off during the most important time of the largest spectator sport (TV-viewer wise) in the country?! Seriously now…there is no possible way they are gaining any new viewers. Next thing you know, they’ll have a final round going on during the Super Bowl!

    Second; When exactly did last season end? And when did this season begin? Was there really even an off-season? If so, how long was it…a month? See? This is another problem. The season is just too damn long and filled with too many meaningless tournaments that don’t get promoted properly. It’s like baseball season: Is it really necessary to play for six months then have another month of playoffs? Does it really take 162 games to figure out who belongs in the playoffs? Couldn’t the same be determined in, say, 100 games? You get kind of psyched up for baseball at the beginning of the year, then it’s blah for four months before you get excited again for the pennant race. And even though the season is too long, the off-season is long enough to give you a break. In golf…there almost is no off-season! I’m sorry but, there has to be a break or you simply get golfed out.

    Let’s look at football again; This is my favorite sport and I watch the NFL at every opportunity. However, I don’t want the season to be any longer than it is for the simple fact that I don’t want to be footballed out! We’ve all heard the expression “Too much of a good thing.” Well, golf is a good thing. But too much golf is not. Fewer tournaments make each one matter more. When the tournaments matter, they attract more attention. Therefore, more viewers and more fans.

    So what could be done differently? Well, probably a few things. For starters, and I know it’s not going to sound like a good idea to most but, having fewer tournaments could help. As mentioned earlier – fewer tournaments equals more meaning.

    But what do you do with the down time? We’ve touched on this a bit before. Things that are fun and keep the fans interested are always a sure bet. Why not set-up some things such as long-drive tournaments and the like? It’s not an actual tournament, but it’s fun and certainly fan-friendly! And just a small exhibition here and there during an off-season of a decent length could do wonders to attract new fans, while still keeping the interest of current ones.

    OK, so these are just a couple of silly ideas for the most part, but they are ideas nonetheless. And let’s face it, with fewer and fewer rounds of golf being played each year, a change is becoming increasingly necessary.

    Filed Under: Uncategorized Tagged With: baseball, golf offseason, golf season, golf stinks, golf tournament, golfstinks, nfl, PGA, PGA TOUR, Steve Stricker

    No Such Thing As Bad Press

    January 7, 2011 | By Pete Girotto | 1 Comment

    As I watch the snow fall outside and gripe about shoveling, I received an interesting news feed – It looks as if Mr. Woods has lost another endorsement; This one coming from Golf Digest. CNBC reported:

    NEW YORK – Tiger Woods will no longer be writing a monthly column for Golf Digest, ending a long standing sponsorship that adds to a growing pile of dropped endorsements for the golfer. “We have decided it’s now time for a break,” Woods said in a joint statement with Golf Digest on Thursday. The decision comes on the heels of Procter & Gamble Co’s Gillette brand not renewing its contract with Woods at the end of December.

    Accenture, AT&T Inc, PepsiCo Inc Gatorade have all ended sponsor deals with the golfer. Electronic Arts, however, announced this week it was planning to release a “Tiger Woods PGA Tour 12″ video game”

    How ’bout them apples? At least he’s got a video game going for him…oh…and his billion dollar net worth according to Forbes.com. And all that hoopla about his ex taking him for half is pretty much B.S. Rumor has it that The-Golfer-Formerly-Known-As-Eldrick has short arms and deep pockets*.

    Hit’em long…yell FORE!!! Now where’s my snowsuit…?

    Filed Under: Uncategorized Tagged With: EA Sports, forbes, golf stinks, golfstinks, tiger woods

    Kids These Days…

    December 29, 2010 | By Pete Girotto | Leave a Comment

    Little snot nose brats make me laugh, but their parents who let them get away with it are even better. I was at a local golf shop putzing around recently and stumbled across a young kid and his mother. This little punk’s snappy attitude towards his mother made me want to slap him…but, not my kid, not my job.

    Apparently the young’un wanted to take-up golf and was looking for a set of clubs. So, the sales person had him hitting balls to warm up. It was obvious the kid had never really played and after a few swings the salesperson suggested a starter set and went to grabs a few clubs from it. This spoiled kid takes one look at the clubs asks how much they cost and tells his mother “I can’t play with those pieces of junk! I want the Nike’s…”

    The salesperson calmly explained to the mother that the Nike’s cost a lot more…about $600 more. And to start with those clubs, especially if the kid might not end up playing a whole lot, doesn’t really make sense. He could have easily pushed those clubs on them and made his commission, but he did what he should have done and (from what I saw) advised them properly.

    The kid persisted that the starter set was not for him. So, the sales person (who looked like he had been through this before) tells the kid that they’re going to run a few tests to see what would be best. He took a 7 iron from both the starter and Nike set and tapes the bottom and back of the head (so you couldn’t really see which was which). He had the kid swing both and then asked him which one felt better. Just as suspected, the kid had no clue.

    Now that the point had been proven, the kid started making a big stink and demanded he get the Nike set. He said something along the lines of “I will never speak to you again and you don’t love me…blah blah blah…if I don’t get these Nike clubs.” Are you f#$@ing kidding me?!?! If I ever spoke like that to my parents as a kid, it would have been knuckle sandwiches for dinner (maybe not that bad but not that far off either). That’s when I left the area, I couldn’t deal with this kid anymore. And if I stayed any longer I probably would have thrown my 2 cents in…

    I’ll tel ya’…the lack of respect these days is heart breaking. And then you wonder why the course is littered with morons acting like they’re Jack Nicklaus but playing like a bunch of Jack Asses.

    Hit’em long, yell FORE!! Respect your parents…

    Filed Under: Uncategorized Tagged With: golf, golf stinks, golfstinks, jack nicklaus, Nike, Nike Golf

    Merry Christmas!!

    December 24, 2010 | By Pete Girotto | 2 Comments

    Twas the day before christmas, when all through golfstinks, not a stinky golfer was stirring on the course or the links

    The clubs rest in their bag all clean and nice, in hopes that Jack Nicklaus would give some advice

    The four stinky golfers nestled all snug in their beds, while visions of zero handicaps danced in their heads

    And Tom in his onesie with feety’s and a cap, had just settled in for his quick disco nap

    With an old persimmons driver, so lively and quick, I knew in a minute it must be Jack Nick

    More rapid than eagles his courses he did claim, and he whistled and shouted…dude, this guy had game

    Now Greg, now Chris, now Tom, now Pete…You have a long way to go before me you can beat

    I heard him exclaim as he drove out of sight…Happy Christmas to all and to all a good night!

    Filed Under: Uncategorized Tagged With: golf stinks, golfstinks, happy holidays, jack nicklaus, merry christmas

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