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What is Golf Art?

January 18, 2012 | By Greg D'Andrea | 2 Comments

My post last week about that golf bag telephone really got me thinking about why these golf nicknacks are created in the first place. And then it occurred to me that these things are, technically speaking anyhow, a form of art.

A telephone in the shape of a golf bag is art you say?

My wife has a BFA (Bachelor of Fine Arts). She’s always said; “if the person who created it calls it art, then it’s art.” It doesn’t matter if it’s just a canvas splattered with paint shot out of a cannon at 500 paces – if the guy lighting the canon fuse calls it art, then we’re perfectly justified in hanging it on our wall.

So let’s get back to my golf bag telephone for a second. Pat from New York (who emailed me to win said phone last week) considers it art, even though I didn’t. He plans on displaying it in his house with pride. And for Pat, it’s not just static art, but it’s functional art too (after all, it’s a phone to boot). Pour yourself a glass of wine, pull up a chair and admire it, Pat!

But let’s face it, when we think about golf, we think about things like the tours, or courses, or clubs & balls. When we think about the golf industry, apparel and equipment retailers come to mind. But we forget that this multi-billion dollar industry includes a place for art too. And I’m not just talking about the golf bag telephone anymore.

Take a look at the images below:


That, my friends, is golf art. I spied those at a touristy-type store in the historic district of Albuquerque. Both are created using golf things (parts of a club, a ball, tees – even the crown on the bird’s head in the top photo is pieces of a soft spike)! It takes a certain breed to put those kinds of tchotchkes in your home, and I’m not among them. But you can’t deny, it’s art.

Of course, art also includes paintings and there is no shortage of golf paintings out there – observe the two distinctly different ones below:

My eye was drawn to painting on top, while my wife (the artist) chose the one on the bottom as being attractive.

And what about the subject in the aforementioned paintings – the courses. Are they not art in and of themselves? Walking down a quiet fairway on a perfect day – as far as I’m concerned, when you’re on the golf course, you’re surrounded in amazing art. The way the green distinguishes itself from the fairway and rough; the gorgeous vista from the tee; a ball that softly landed a foot from the cup – to me, this is all art – and I’m sure the course designer considered it as much. Heck, one could argue that the new forged wedge in my bag is a work of art! (OK, maybe I’m getting a little carried away).

But let’s try to answer my original question: What is golf art? Perhaps an appropriate way to answer that would be to rearrange the question into a statement…

Golf is art.

Filed Under: Uncategorized Tagged With: art, course, crafts, golf, golf stinks, golfstinks, painting, tchotchkes

The Mental Grind Of Golf

January 16, 2012 | By Chris Chirico | 3 Comments

So as some of you may know by now, I’ve been droning on in the past about the PGA’s need (in my opinion) to restructure the tour stops, create some type of a playoff system and create a “real” PGA Championship. Whether you agree with me or not, you’d have to admit that I’ve got to be onto something. At the very least, I’m trying to make the tour more exciting!

But last week, after my post about restructuring and streamlining the tour, we received a comment from our buddies over at Three Guys Golf. Referring to the reason golfers skip so many tournaments, the statement “too much of a mental grind” was used. This got me thinking about two points. One having to do with my PGA playoff pursuit, the other just a general thought on the “mental grind.”

Firstly, the season schedule/playoff angle. I understand that no player can or is going to participate in every tournament from January to December. There are just too many (50 last year!). But that’s where it starts – shortening the season. Why not have a season that runs from March or April through October with November designated for playoffs and a championship? Why not shorten the season to twenty or so tournaments and a few opens? Make every tour stop count toward a playoff seed. That way everyone will pretty much have to participate in just about all of the stops in order to give themselves a better shot at a higher seed. Cutting out some of the tournaments will create more star-studded stops along the way. I would have to imagine this would mean a better turnout at the gate, as well as a better TV rating.

Secondly, the “mental grind” aspect. As for the reason PGA tour players can’t play every week or even every other week being due to the mental grind? I’m sorry, but I have to call B.S. on that. Now I realize that the popular school of thought is that it takes great mental strength to play professional golf. And I do not doubt this for a minute. However, I highly doubt the degree to which it is exaggerated. What I mean by that is, it takes a high level of mental strength to play any sport professionally. But the old-school thought of the “well-educated, well-raised” golfer vs. the “dumb jock” that plays any other sport still exists to a certain degree. Has anyone ever seen an actual NFL playbook or heard an actual play called in a huddle? It’s mind-boggling! And to think that these plays need to be communicated from a sideline, called and understood in a huddle and executed in less than 40 seconds is incredible.

I understand that a great deal goes into a golf swing. But at the same time, a great deal goes into a baseball swing, a football pass, a basketball shot or a hockey shot. Not too mention, there are plays, formations, audibles, defensive positioning and situational decisions that need to be made in a matter of seconds. And all of this happens in a venue containing thousands of screaming fans. A golfer on the other hand stands in almost complete silence so he or she can concentrate, walks the course with an assistant and has basically one job…swing a club. Not too mention, they can pretty much take as long as they choose to do this. I’m sorry but, the mental grind? I don’t want to hear about it.

Further, I think part of the reason the “mental” part of the game is so emphasized by golfers is to make up for the fact there is so little of a physical aspect to it in comparison to other sports. I mean, outside of a handshake at the end of a round and maybe a hi-five with their caddie, there is no other physical contact throughout their round. Now, if a professional baseball player can play 162 games in a span of roughly 190 days, sometimes playing as many as ten to twelve consecutive days, then a golfer should be able to handle his or her schedule. Hell, if a professional football player can play his sport, sixteen times in seventeen weeks, then for Pete’s sake come on! This is a sport which is so rough it has been shown to shorten the life expectancy of it’s players. A sport that, on any given play as many as 21 of the 22 players on the field (if the QB doesn’t get hit) have some sort of physical, many times violent, contact occur.

A golfer experiences none of this. They don’t have any physical contact with anyone, they don’t run, they don’t jump…they don’t even carry their own equipment!! But they can’t handle a certain schedule because they have to think too hard? Ha!

My point here is certainly not to poke fun at a comment made, but to attempt to explain how ridiculous this popular way of thinking sounds. And it is popular! It seems the majority of golfers who take their game serious believe their sport somehow requires a greater mental capacity to play than any other sport. And if you don’t play, then you must be some sort of a mental midget. It’s an unfair way of thinking. It’s pretty much the equivalent of a pro football player saying “Golf? What, are you too much of a pansy to play something else? Or was the chess team already full?”

Look, what it simply comes down to is, this is golf. Is it a tough sport to play? Sure. But every sport played on the professional level is. Does it require a great amount of mental ability? Sure. But again, every sport played on the professional level does. But thinking too hard is no excuse for not playing.

But to the original point, my attempt here has been to come up with some ways to draw additional interest to the PGA Tour. And if shortening the season and playing fewer tournaments will do this, then it at least deserves some consideration. I know it’s probably unrealistic, but with a sport fading in both viewership and participation, it would be best for the tour to be proactive rather than reactive. Maybe my ideas aren’t what the tour is looking for, but they’d better start coming up with something. Because slowly but surely, they’re running out of time.

Try not to think. Just swing ’til you’re happy!

Filed Under: Uncategorized Tagged With: golf stinks, golfstinks, PGA CHAMPIONSHIP, PGA TOUR

Golf Course Country Club…Crashing?

January 13, 2012 | By Pete Girotto | Leave a Comment

I’m pretty sure most of us have seen the movie “Wedding Crashers”. If not, I recommend watching it. In short, it’s a film about two bachelors (Vince Vaughn and Owen Wilson) that crash weddings in search of free food, drinks and to pick up women. Call them want you want: Freeloaders, scumbags, whatever. I’m also pretty sure that the thought of doing this at least once has bounced around in our heads. Maybe as a to-do on the ol’ bucket list?

A buddy of mine (ABOM), in perhaps his not so proudest of moments, informed me of a “Wedding Crashers” variation he has participated in – crashing golf tournaments. The best part is he doesn’t even play golf. Naturally, my first question was “If you don’t play golf, WTF are you doing at a golf tourney?” ABOM then enlightened me on his motive. He said he shows up at the end for the dinner and open bar. Intrigued I was.

“Go on…I’m listening” I replied. ABOM proceeded to fill in the details; He said the most important thing was to look the part. The golf logo hat, shirt and golf shoes he borrowed from his brother that were a size too small. He even went as far as to button the top button on his polo shirt. I was impressed by his attention to detail. I’m not sure if they do that anymore, but for someone who doesn’t golf, he really did his research. ABOM’s theory was to look as authentic as possible and not raise suspicion.

The story gets better. This particular tournament (which, he crashed with a co-conspirator) was, as he put it, “a perfect set-up.” Meaning there was a buffet-style dinner and open bar. There were no seating arrangements or anything like that. As a matter of fact, ABOM sat at the bar and freeloaded like a bandit. “This can’t get any better” he thought. Until he saw his boss, who just happened to be one of the organizers of the event.

“Crap!” he thought. Well, it was more of a slow-mo “Ohhhhhh shhhhhiiiittttt!” “I gotta get the f$#@ out of here!” As he frantically planned his escape, the thought of his boss exposing him made it even worse. All he could think about was how much of an asshole he was going to look like (not to mention the possibility of losing his job). Luckily, ABOM’s accomplice was able to run interference allowing the exit strategy to be executed flawlessly. My final question to him; “Would you do it again?” His reply “Why not…”

*ABOM did make it a point to mention to me that he would only crash tournaments that do not benefit any charities. It’s good to know there is honor amongst scumbags. And no, ABOM is not really me.

Hit’em long…yell FORE!!!

Filed Under: Uncategorized Tagged With: golf, golf stinks, golf tournament, golf tourney; golfers; golf stinks, golfstinks, owen wilson, vince vaughn, wedding crashers

More Crazy PGA Playoff Ideas

January 9, 2012 | By Chris Chirico | 4 Comments

I’m sitting here watching the NFL Playoffs and I catch a commercial or two for a golf tournament. A golf tournament? Are you kidding? They say this is the first tournament of 2012. Well, I guess it is. It’s just earlier than I expected. For cryin’ out loud, the last tournament of 2011 just wrapped up a month ago! But now, along comes the Hyundai Tournament of Champions.

Someone help me because I don’t know – Has golf always been a year round sport on the professional level? Wouldn’t that cause fans to become a bit “golfed out?” I know it would for me. I mean, the off-season is one month long? Sorry, but that’s just not long enough. As much as I love football, I need the off-season. It gives me the break I need so I don’t get tired of a sport I love. If it was going on for eleven out of the twelve months of the year, I’d probably be bored of it.

Am I wrong, or would golf benefit from a shorter season? Do people get golfed out? I really don’t follow the tour, and that’s one of the reasons why. The season’s just too long. And I would have to imagine many of these tournaments are somewhat “inconsequential.” And if a tournament doesn’t really matter, then that diminishes the interest.

I think the PGA Tour as a whole could benefit from a shorter, more focused season. If there was some type of a playoff system, then I’m sure every individual tournament could mean much more to both the fans, as well as the players themselves.

Further, if the season were to be shorter and a playoff system instituted, then due to the importance of each tournament, players would be less apt to skip any, thus creating a better chance at a star-studded field every weekend. Could you imagine Tom Brady just sitting out two or three games because they don’t matter? Yeah, I know that some NFL teams will sit a couple of players during the last week of the season, but that’s 1 game in 16.

Let’s look at the PGA Tour numbers. Last year there were 50 tour stops. 50! Now, there were four weekends on which two tournaments were played. So, since you can’t be in two places at once, that leaves 46 potential tournaments to play. Now, of the 445 players who played in a PGA Tournament last year, only 26 of them played in 30 or more tournaments, with the most being 35. So, even the player who played most often still skipped 11 tournaments! Doesn’t that just get on your nerves – that players pick and choose when they want to play? That’s like Aaron Rodgers sitting himself for four games, or Kobe Bryant sitting himself for twenty. What if Albert Pujols didn’t play in over 40 games because they just weren’t important enough? Are you serious?! It’s ridiculous, but it happens week in and week out during the PGA season.

How about if that was eliminated? How could it be you ask? Make every tournament matter. Trim the fat and streamline the schedule. Make it so more players play in more tournaments. Make them count toward an end of season playoff for a real championship.

I’ve got several ideas to get this done. Besides this one, I’ve previously discussed a road to an actual PGA Championship as well as a championship itself. Someday I’ll figure out how to get these combined into one revolutionary idea. And someday, maybe the right people will take it into consideration. Hey, after all, I’m just trying to help!

Swing ’til you’re happy!

Filed Under: Uncategorized Tagged With: Aaron Rodgers, Albert Pujols, golf season, golf stinks, golf tournament, golfstinks, Hyundai Tournament of Champions, nfl, NFL playoffs, PGA TOUR, Tom Brady

Happy Holidays To Our Fellow Stinky Golfers!

December 26, 2011 | By Chris Chirico | 1 Comment

The holidays are great. But the holidays are exhausting as well. Everyone agree? The running around. The hustle and bustle. The last minute everything! Sometimes you can feel like you need a vacation from being on vacation! Like you need to get back to work in order to get some rest!

Well honestly, it’s no different for us here at golfstinks either. Stinky golfers Greg, Pete and myself all work to consistently put up whatever content we can. Be it informative, comical, sarcastic or just plain off-the-wall…we’re doing the best we can to keep it comin’ year round.

Obviously, we do things a little different around here. As you all know by now, we’re not really covering/following the tours. We’re not reviewing equipment. And we’re certainly not trying to give you any swing advice! Lord knows none of us are qualified to do any of these things! But that also doesn’t keep us from going on about the game we love. We just do it from the standpoint of your average, everyday hack. And believe it or not…that’s not as easy as it sounds! Especially when all of us are working regular full-time jobs, raising kids, maintaining a relationship, family, home, etc. Or, all of the above!

Hence the need for a break/vacation. And friends, that’s exactly what we’re doing right now. We’ve been running around like chickens with our heads cut off for the past few days. So much so that we’re among those people who need to get back to work in order to get some rest! So until Friday, we’re not going to say a thing about golf except to say…

Happy holidays to all of our fellow golfers…stinky and non-stinky! We thank you for your continued support! And don’t forget…

Swing ’til you’re happy!

Filed Under: Uncategorized Tagged With: golf equipment, golf stinks, golfstinks, happy holidays, PGA TOUR, vacation

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