GolfStinks

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Chip Shots: Golf Requires Total Concentration

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So we all know that golf requires full concentration.  You have to block-out whatever distractions are around you and put 100% focus on what you need to do in order to hit the perfect shot.  But this guy is taking it to a new level.

What do you think is going through this guys head?  Is it:

A. “I’ll show him.  Put down a bogey when he knows it was a double…”

B. “Hey, no one’s paying attention to me right now.  How will they ever know this is my fourth putt?”

C.  “Revoke my membership?  Ha!  We’ll see…”

Or D.  “What fire?”

D. would certainly show the total concentration aspect.  But it’s more fun to think it’s something else.  The question is what that something else could be to keep his round going…

Chip Shots: Photo Caption Contest!

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Hey, I’m Tom – one of the co-founders here at Golfstinks (but you guys can call me Dog). That’s me in that pic above. If you think you know what I’m thinking, tell us on our Facebook page under the post entitled “Photo caption contest!” and we’ll pick a winner later in the week. Oh yeah, the lucky winner will receive a golf polo shirt compliments of Criquet Shirts!

Good luck!
-Stinky Golfer Dog

Was Golf Invented By A Drunken Scotsman?

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Anyone who plays the great game of golf knows full well that whoever created the game to begin with must have been a drunken, twisted, sadistic bastard.  I mean, what did they know?  How could they possibly fathom the idea that people would become almost addicted to this game?  And knowing that, to go and make it as difficult as it is…how and why would they do this to us?! 

When you stop and think about the difficulty of this game, between the equipment, distances and obstacles, there are really no words to describe why someone would try this game once and ever want to do it again.  Well, maybe there are words to describe the craziness of the inventors.  Just none that I could ever gather.  So in place of me…ladies, gentlemen and fellow stinky golfers, I give you…Robin Williams!

Can anyone think of a more eloquent description of this great sport?  Can anyone think of a better way to describe the completely irrational thought that went into it?  “Like a bowling lane?”  “F*** no!  I’ll put s*** in the way!”  And if that’s not good enough, to describe the green as “A flat piece with a little flag to give you f****n’ hope” is brilliant!  Because that’s all it really is…hope! 

But it ends perfectly!  You put youself through all of this anguish using a “f***ed up stick,” to aim your ball at a target toward which they’ve “put s*** in the way” including trees, tall grass and “a pool and a sandbox to f*** with your ball.”  But for some reason, we don’t do this just once – “F*** no!  Eighteen f****n’ times!”       

It’s funny how a sport so agravating can be so addictive.  Even for a guy like me who doesn’t really care how poorly he plays, I still find the game to be frustrating at times.  And I don’t even take it seriously.  I can’t imagine how a serious (but not professional) golfer does it!  If I could go back in time, I would like nothing more than to meet the creator of this fine sport and simultaneously shake their hand and punch them in the face.  And if I feel that way, how does someone who takes it seriously feel?

Swing ’til you’re happy!     

Golf & The Art Of Falling Apart.

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So, the title is pretty self explanatory. Any hack or pro for that matter can relate for the most part. Why exactly do we fall apart and why is it an art? Art is more or less defined as works produced by the application of human skill and creativeness. Think about that for a minute.

When we apply the definition of art to falling apart on a golf course, we might not see the correlation. Trust me…there is. For example, the most common occurrence of falling apart is on the back nine. Every golfer I know, including me on many occasions, has at one point or another muttered the words “I fell apart on the back nine.” Oh, and some choice words peppered in there as well.

Where does the art part come in? Since you asked here’s your answer – we worked at it. Really. We worked at falling apart. It’s not like you stopped trying on the back nine. We went at it just as we did the front. In fact, the more we fall apart the more “creative” we get with our shots. All this “creativity” leads to more falling apart. I’m not sure what happens between the 9th and 10th hole…wait…it’s those damn hot dogs. My cardiologist told me to avoid those things and now I know why.

Considering we are discussing being artsy and what not, a poem comes to mind – Samuel Taylor Coleridge’s “The Rime of the Ancient Mariner”. You might have read it but if not it’s where the metaphor “albatross around your neck” derives. In golf, an albatross is 3 under par. In literary and seafaring terms, an albatross can be seen as an omen of good luck but it’s mostly associated with a curse or burden.

We know that Coleridge was an English poet from the late 1700’s. We also know that golf and sailing are very much a part of the British Isles’ history. Using deductive reasoning, I’ve come to the conclusion that we should avoid the hot dogs at the turn because they are made from albatross.

Hit’em long…yell FORE!!! Nobel peace prize…here I come!  

The "Excitement" Of A Golf Tournament

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This past Friday I had the opportunity to attend game three of the Heat vs. Celtics playoff series.  It’s been a while since I’ve been to an NBA game, and even longer since I’ve been to a playoff game.  I forgot how much fun it is.  The intensity of the crowd, the players, and not too mention the game itself.  It’s a great experience and lots of fun.  It’s also something that’s missing from golf.

Now I’ve been to golf tournaments, but never a major.  So I may be a little off in my view here.  However, I have to say, in comparison to even a regular season NBA game, there is simply no comparison. 

Part of the draw for fans to any sporting event is how much fun and how exciting it is going to be while there.  And even though it’s not my favorite sport, a basketball game is where it’s at action-wise.  I love football, but there’s a lot of down-time.  I read somewhere once that, on average, a two-and-a-half hour baseball game has less than ten minutes of actual game play.  So you can see how baseball could be a little too slow moving as well.  But both of these pale in comparison to the “excitement” of a golf match. 

Talk about slow moving. I love the sport of golf, but watching it?  I’ve had people tell me they’re not interested in going to a tournament unless it’s free.  I’ve even had free tickets that people have refused!  If someone hands me tickets to a football, basketball or baseball game…count me in!  And that goes the same for most sports fans I know.  But golf? All of a sudden people have to mow their lawns.  They have some work to do around their house.  Or they have a birthday party to attend.  What’s the deal?

Well, when you take a sporting event at which half the fun of attending is going to the beer tent…you can see the issue here.  The excitement of standing still and being as quiet as possible, while absolutely riveting for some, is mind-numbing for others.  How do you talk someone who’s not really a golf fan into going to a tournament?  “Hey, it’s gonna be great!  Over-priced beer, sub-par food, wander around the course for a while and stand quiet as a church mouse.”  Yeah…good luck. 

I understand why people have to be quiet during the shots.  I also understand that the draw to a golf tournament is seeing the best of the best.  But that doesn’t make me want to attend a professional chess match!  So I guess I can understand why people feel the way they feel about a golf tournament. 

Don’t get me wrong.  I’m not one of these people.  I will attend a golf tournament if I have the opportunity to do so.  I like the sport.  I want to see the guys who are the best at it compete.  But I can also understand how people find it dull and unentertaining.  Especially when you compare it to a sport like basketball where there is non-stop action and the only down-time is between quarters and during time-outs.            

So with that being said, I encourage everyone to at least give a tournament a shot if you haven’t before.  I plan on doing this myself in a couple of weeks at the Travelers Championship here in CT.  It’s only about 10 minutes from my house, so how can I pass it up?  Now, I’m just waiting for my boss to pony up a few tickets…    

Swing ’til you’re happy!
                

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