“Golf is only a game.” Does that statement make you nod your head in agreement or kinda piss you off?

Picture this: Two golfers are teeing-off on a beautiful par 3. The green is guarded by a large, kidney-shaped pond and Golfer #1 hits his tee-shot a little fat – ka-plunk! It’s in the drink.

He immediately begins cursing and slamming his club into the ground. This self-abuse carries on for about 10 seconds before Golfer #2 breaks the tantrum by saying: “Hey, don’t worry about it – it’s only a game.”

Golfer #1 is visibly upset at this comment and doesn’t speak to Golfer #2 for the rest of the round. In fact, their friendship might be severely compromised.

What gives?

You see my friends, there are two kinds of golfers in this world: Those who will say “golf is only a game” and those who hate those who say “golf is only a game.” This is a psychological phenomenon in that golfer #1 is clearly in competition with golfer #2 and is appalled with Golfer #2’s placid attitude of what’s at stake.

So, what’s at stake? Well, social status, of course! Stay with me here…After all, I’ve previously written about how golf handicaps can instill a sense of male penis envy – and handicaps are just another form of competition.

Now don’t get me wrong, I’m always down for a little friendly competition, but some folks just take it too far. So let’s crawl into the head of this over-competitive golfer, shall we? Research suggests that Golfer #1 may have fragile self-esteem or even be pathologically narcissistic and self-centered!

“…This results in anxiety and vigilance around social status and performance. They have to keep comparing themselves to others to make sure they are measuring up and haven’t fallen behind.”

For the Golfer #1’s of the world, it’s blasphemous to say that golf is just a game. Subconsciously, they’re thinking: “How dare you trivialize the golf measuring stick I am holding us both up to.” You see, this is a vital part of how they rank you in the category of “general life successfulness.”

For these folks, you simply cannot remove the competitiveness from the game. To do so would tear the very fabric of their psyche…and your friendship may indeed be over (without you taking the competition seriously, there is no longer a way for them to measure their status vs. yours and thus, you are no longer of interest to them).

Of course, I could be getting too deep here. Golfer #1 could be just in competition with himself – though I’m not sure if that makes things better or worse.

I guess the moral of the story is never tell another golfer (especially after he is upset over a poor shot or round) that “golf is only a game.” The ramifications could be catastrophic – for both the rest of your round and the rest of your friendship.