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The Return of Tiger Woods to Championship Form

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With all of the negative attention thrust upon Tiger Woods lately (albeit by his own doing) and the constant bad news we all hear on an almost daily basis, I for one have begun to grow tired of the circus it has become. Quite frankly, it’s just getting boring and old now. Actually, it’s well beyond that point. Between the photos of Elin without her ring, stories of impending divorce, meetings with the local police department, reports of sponsors dropping like flies and even now the steroid rumors, I’m almost starting to feel bad for the guy. Further, I’m starting to feel that someone should attempt to again shed a positive light on a great golfer who, despite his “transgressions,” is a charitable, giving human being who has done much for many people in many communities. But that someone is not me.

Instead, I’m looking at the Tiger Woods revitalization project from a slightly different angle. My feeling is, at this point, many people are no longer concerned with Tiger Woods the golfer. They are now concerned with nothing more than Tiger Woods the name. I’m willing to bet the majority of people who follow the Tiger Woods drama are not even golf fans. They are simply interested in the name, not the person. Well, I think it’s time we reassociate the name Tiger Woods with a champion.

What if I was to introduce you to a Tiger Woods that no one knows? A Tiger Woods still associated with winning tournaments. A Tiger Woods who is probably encouraged to have “relations” with several other females, and everyone around him is OK with it! Sound crazy? Well it’s not. Ladies and gentlemen….I give you….Tiger Woods:

Tiger Woods is a seven year old (soon to be eight) Scottish Deerhound. He has won four tournaments over the past two years including back-to-back best in breed winners at the prestigious 2008 and 2009 Westminster Kennel Club Dog Show. He also had a strong showing at the 2008-2009 American Kennel Club Dog Show, finishing second in his breed.

When asked about the choice of the Tiger Woods name for her dog, owner Gayle Bontecou (who is an avid golfer) responded, “He’s really good. They both are total athletes” You’ll get no argument from me.

And in case anyone was wondering about the “relations,” or “breeding” as it’s called in dog show circles, the answer is yes – Tiger Woods does carry the moniker “baby daddy.” Tiger is father to a bundle of joy by the name of…..Ping. Ping? Not Nike? Or Sumo? Sasquatch? I guess Ms. Bontecou is only a fan of the man….not the equipment.

So there you have it. The name Tiger Woods is once again associated with a great competitor, champion and “total athlete.” The Tiger Woods revitalization project is now off the ground. Please join me in my quest to restore order to the world of Woods. Thank you.

Golf Physics 101

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swing_golfer3Now that I have traded in my 3 wood for a snow shovel, I have more time to read about golf than actually play it. Recently, I decided to look into the physics of golf and find out why after 12 years I still stink at it. So, I figured if I learn the science I can learn the art. And man was that a strain on the cabeza. Now I know why Wheel of Fortune used to follow Jeopardy on T.V…so you don’t think you’re a complete idiot and salvage whatever pride you have left.

In my perusing, I came across some interesting stuff that I thought was pretty cool. The following are some physics/scientifical explanations about different facets of the game. And for those smarty-pants’ out there that already know this stuff please feel free to add in the comments.

Ball Flight

After being struck the more backspin put on a golf ball the more loft and airtime it will have.

“As the ball spins, it forces air over the top of it and then behind it. This means that the air above the ball is moving faster than the air below the ball, and because of the pressure difference, the ball has additional force pushing it up, which helps it stay in the air for a longer period of time. This spin also helps golfers produce more accurate shots because with a backspin imparted on the ball, it drops quicker toward the end of the shot. And after hitting the ground, the backspin helps slow the ball more quickly.”*

Also, Dimples play a big role in keeping that ball in the air.

“Dimpled golf balls fly much further than smooth balls. The reason dimpled balls travel further than smooth balls is because the dimples on a golf ball create turbulence in the boundary layer. This actually helps because the dimples then scoop air back towards the rear of the ball. By moving more air to the rear, this helps keep the air pressure behind the ball from dropping. And by doing this, the amount of air pressure pulling backwards on the ball is decreased.” **

So, let’s get this straight, backspin and dimples are a major part of ball flight. Hmmmm…well I’ll tell you where else backspin and dimples are good…pickin’ up the ladies! That’s right, before I packed on the pounds I would flash a dimpled-cheek smile to the girls and bust out a pretty mean backspin on the dancefloor. Well, it wasn’t that easy. A man can dream can’t he? Oh well, back to the shovelin’!

**- http://ffden-2.phys.uaf.edu/211_fall2002.web.dir/josh_fritts/flight.html

What the Crap is a Slope Rating?

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Ko'olau Golf Club
Ko’olau Golf Club in Hawaii is widely considered one of the toughest golf courses in the world

We here at GolfStinks can appreciate playing a round of golf without understanding all the idiosyncrasies of the game that serious players, well, take seriously. But sometimes things that seem inconsequential to you can actually help put this crazy game into better perspective. Thus, I’ve decided to shed some insight on a golf measure that is rarely understood (or paid much attention to) by the weekend hack: The Slope Rating.

You see it on the score card and think “what’s this mean?” and “why do I care?” Well, chances are unless you keep a handicap, you won’t know what a slope rating is, nor will you care…but you should and here’s why: It’s true the slope rating factors into calculating a handicap, but if you don’t keep a handicap, it can still be useful. In most basic terms, a slope rating is there to help average hacks like you and me understand how tough a course is.

To give golfers an idea of its difficulty level, the USGA will assign a number (or rating) to each tee box on a course. The higher a rating, the tougher the challenge. The maximum slope rating handed out by the USGA is 155 (average is around 127 from the back tees). Currently, the only course to have a rating of 155 is the Ocean Course at Kiawah Island in South Carolina. It should be noted that Ko’olau Golf Club in Hawaii (pictured) is widely considered one of the toughest courses in the world and previously carried a slope rating of 162 from its back tees – a rating not possible under USGA rules. Ko-olau’s current rating from its tips is 152.

Anyway, there are a couple reasons a course has a high slope rating:

First reason: The course is longer. It’s been decided that 6,500 -7,000 yards is an average length for a course. Courses shorter than this will usually have a below average slope rating (e.g. less than 127 from the back tees), while courses longer than this will have a higher slope rating than the average.

Second reason: The course has a lot of defenses. Sand traps, water hazards, narrow fairways, high rough, etc. Some or all are usually present to make sure there is a sufficient challenge.

So, the next time you play, take a look at the scorecard for the course’s total yardage and slope rating from each tee box. If it’s a short course, but has a high slope rating, chances are there are good amount of defenses. If it’s long with a low rating, chances are the course is pretty wide open. If it’s a short course with a low rating, the course probably features a relatively easy layout (or features a windmill and clown’s mouth). Finally, if it’s long with a high slope, you’re on a tough course (or more likely at a PGA Tour event and are viewing the festivities from behind the yellow rope).

That being said, knowing the slope rating will help you decide which tee boxes to play from and give you an idea of what to expect as far as difficulty. Let’s face it, most stinky golfers will end up playing from the forward (white) tees, but if the course has a really low slope from there (and you feel like giving yourself more of a challenge), you might opt to play farther back.

As I’m sure many of our readers can confirm, there’s nothing worse than a bad golfer playing from the wrong tees. So check out the slope rating and make the appropriate choice based on your skill level.

Please note: The “course rating” is another measure rarely paid much attention to by the average weekend hack…and it should stay that way. This is a measure for scratch golfers and those keeping a handicap.

Pro Athletes, Scratch Golfers

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Michael Jordan on the Golf Course
Michael Jordan on the Golf Course
A few months ago I wondered do golfers golf on their days off. Now I’m wondering about other athletes. How many of them golf during their off seasons or after their career is over? We all know the obvious – Michael Jordan, Charles Barkley and Rick Rhoden. But we always hear about some football or baseball star who also happens to be a scratch golfer. Is it just me or is that insane? To be able to play your sport at the highest level and in your spare time just happen to be a great golfer also? Amazing. At this point I would be happy to be just a halfway decent golfer!

While there have been no recent two-sport stars involving golf, looking at the latest Golf Digest list of top athlete golfers, there are a few guys out there who would have a legitimate shot if it weren’t for golf’s Thursday-Sunday tournaments schedule interfering with their sports schedule. Most would have to wait for their career to be over or cut their careers short as Robin Yount almost did back in 1978. For those who didn’t know, two-time MVP and MLB Hall-of-Famer Robin Yount actually quit baseball back in the spring of ’78 to pursue a career as a professional golfer. The experiment failed and Yount was back with the Milwaukee Brewers a few months later. But how good do you have to be to quit an H.O.F. baseball career to pursue golf full-time?

Looking at the aforementioned list, I’m amazed at some of the names and numbers I see. Right off the bat, #1 ranked Tony Romo, QB for the Dallas Cowboys, has a handicap of +3.3 and won two tournaments in his off-season! As a matter of fact, the top five athletes on the list – Romo, Craig Hentrich, Mark McGwire, Mike Schmidt and Jerry Rice – all have handicaps better than scratch! Now I can see how the latter three have time to work on their games as they are all retired now. But Romo and Hentrich are active NFL players! Do they have that kind of time to get this good?

Scanning through some of the other names, I see that pitcher Livan Hernandez is actually considering golf as a second career after baseball. Although the only info I can find linking Hernandez to golf is when he pulled some golf clubs out of his trunk and attempted to hit a 65-year old man with them. Whether or not that’s the case. he’s still a scratch golfer.

How about Boston Bruin Marc Savard? He missed qualifying for the 2008 Canadian Open by one stroke. He could have been a real-life Happy Gilmore! Except a better hockey player.

Boston Celtics star Ray Allen is apparently the best golfer in the NBA. Although New Orleans Hornets guard Chris Paul isn’t far behind.

There must be something in the water in Minnesota. Twins teamates Joe Mauer, Nick Punto and Joe Nathan are all on the list. They could roundout a foursome with their choice of former Twins stars Harmon Killebrew or Rod Carew who find themselves ranked also.

Apparently Reggie Jackson plays five days a week. Must be nice…

Should I be surprised to see Bo Jackson’s name on this list? A guy who was an All-Star in MLB and Pro-Bowler in the NFL until an injury cut both careers short, has a handicap under ten. I should mention he’s also a banker and business owner in Illinois. I guess Bo really does know a whole bunch of stuff!

Some time ago, a stinky golfer told me he believes as long as a person has at least a pretty good bit of athletic ability to them, they can be a good golfer. I agree with him. Golf doesn’t necessarily require a person to be in top physical condition, however it does require a certain amount of coordination and athletic ability. Some people have to work hard to be good athletes while some others have the gift of a natural ability. Most of the athletes on the list possess that gift. This is what allows them to excel at multiple sports (maybe even professionally) while most of us work hard just to be average at one. I’m comfortable with that, but what I wouldn’t give to stand at a podium one day and say: “It was a tough eighteen. All of the competition was great. I’m just glad I could hold everyone else off at the end. Now I have to run. I’m starting the back end of a double-header tomorrow night.”

Golf Ball Hell

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100_0231You can have a nervous breakdown trying to pick out golf balls. I hope I’m not alone in this assessment, but I can literally stand in front of a wall of golf ball boxes for like an hour, trying to figure out which ones I should pick.

Newbies to golf typically will purchase the cheapest options – Top Flite or the like, where $10 can buy you 20 balls. I envy those new golf hacks – the choice is easy for them. $10 for 20? That’s a no-brainer. They figure the balls are destined for the drink or lumber yard anyway, so why spend more?

However, I’ve been playing golf for 20 years. I know why I won’t spend $10 for 20 Top Flite’s. I’d like to have my ball last more than a hole without scuffs on it, thank you very much. And I’m not a terrible golfer either – I understand what “feel” means when it says “better distance and feel” on the side of the box – I want it to land softly and “hold” the green.

But I also know I’m no “player.” I don’t “work the ball” too often, I don’t really “cut it,” or intentionally draw or fade it with much success…So I don’t need to spend $45 on a dozen three-piece balls like the Titleist Pro-V1. Yes, I’ve narrowed it down to the $20 to $30 range for a dozen balls. That’s where I’m most comfortable – where I get a decent ball for a decent price. But there are so many options in that price range – which inevitably leaves me standing for an hour in the golf-ball section of my local sporting goods store.

To make matters worse, I just realized there are now more options for me to choose from…Options that I previously ignored when I was shopping for balls: Recycled golf balls. Most golfers intentionally overlook recycled (or refurbished) golf balls for various reasons, but my main reason was that I always heard once balls were submerged in water or out in the elements for a while, quality and distance would be hindered. But a new study done by GolfBallTest.org says otherwise. In their tests, there was virtually no difference between new and recycled balls of the same brand. This is intriguing.

After reading the white paper on the study, I picked up a dozen recycled Nike One balls at Target for $9.99 and played a few rounds with them. I have to say, I was impressed with them – impressed to the point where I will probably buy another box next season. If this study gets some publicity, it may change the golf ball industry!

But another new discovery has me ever more intrigued. There are companies out there that will actually custom fit you with a golf ball…and do it all online no less. GolfBallSelector.com touts “a mix of quantitative and qualitative measures to generate precise [golf ball] recommendations.” For just $19.95, you get a one-time fitting to match you with your balls. Interesting. You’ll find a similar site at TheRightBall.com. So there’s two ways you can look at these golf-ball-fitting sites: Either they’re a rip-off and not worth considering; Or your days of wondering what golf ball to use are over.

While one day I may fork-over the 20 bones and take the Golf Ball Selector test, I think for now I’m gonna stick to my recycled Nike balls…at least until another study comes along and shoots the GolfBallTest analysis out of the water. Until then, I am glad to report less of my life will be wasted on choosing golf balls. Hmmm, this post has me thinking – I wonder what grips I should put on my clubs for next season?

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