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Another Shot At My New Year’s Golf Resolution

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New Year’s Golf Resolutions TAKE 2!

Well, it’s that time of year again – New Year’s resolution time. A time of empty promises. A time of hollow intentions. Approximately a month away from a time of letdown. It’s nothing new. Same thing year in and year out.

Last year I made the mistake of going against my “No New Year’s Resolutions” rule when I made a silly resolution regarding my golf game. No, it had nothing to do with game improvement. It was simply a resolution to play more golf. But, like all other New Year’s resolutions I’ve made in the past, it fell flat. I didn’t play any more. As a matter of fact, I may even have played less!

But did I learn my lesson? No, of course not. I’m making the same golf resolution as I did last year. I resolve to play more golf this coming year. But I think this time I can make it happen.

So why is this year going to be different? I don’t know. I just have a good feeling about it. No specific reason. It’s just that I know how I felt this past year when I didn’t get much chance to play. It was terrible. Especially considering I had that shiny new set of clubs to use for a full season. A year later, they’re almost as shiny as when they were brand new. That’s a terrible feeling! It’s like playing a game of football and leaving with a clean uniform.

With that said, what am I going to do to make it happen? After all, I said the same thing last year. Well, I’m going to have to start by trying to plan further ahead of time. Maybe if I set aside a few weekends specifically for golf, that could help. Possibly another golf trip – it’s been a while since I’ve done that!

Well whatever methods I choose to instill, I’m determined to make it happen. Even if it’s just one more round this year than last. Hell, I’ll even settle for just nine more holes, as long as I play more than last year!

Swing ’til you’re happy! I resolve to do so!

Happy Holidays To Our Fellow Stinky Golfers!

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The holidays are great. But the holidays are exhausting as well. Everyone agree? The running around. The hustle and bustle. The last minute everything! Sometimes you can feel like you need a vacation from being on vacation! Like you need to get back to work in order to get some rest!

Well honestly, it’s no different for us here at golfstinks either. Stinky golfers Greg, Pete and myself all work to consistently put up whatever content we can. Be it informative, comical, sarcastic or just plain off-the-wall…we’re doing the best we can to keep it comin’ year round.

Obviously, we do things a little different around here. As you all know by now, we’re not really covering/following the tours. We’re not reviewing equipment. And we’re certainly not trying to give you any swing advice! Lord knows none of us are qualified to do any of these things! But that also doesn’t keep us from going on about the game we love. We just do it from the standpoint of your average, everyday hack. And believe it or not…that’s not as easy as it sounds! Especially when all of us are working regular full-time jobs, raising kids, maintaining a relationship, family, home, etc. Or, all of the above!

Hence the need for a break/vacation. And friends, that’s exactly what we’re doing right now. We’ve been running around like chickens with our heads cut off for the past few days. So much so that we’re among those people who need to get back to work in order to get some rest! So until Friday, we’re not going to say a thing about golf except to say…

Happy holidays to all of our fellow golfers…stinky and non-stinky! We thank you for your continued support! And don’t forget…

Swing ’til you’re happy!

Hilarious Secret Santa Gifts For Golfers

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Is your Secret Santa recipient a golfer?

Well, it’s that time of year again…The time for last minute gift shopping. If you’re like me, then every year you wait until the last possible minute to finish up your holiday shopping. And someone who almost always comes within mere hours of being left out in the cold is the person I’ve pulled for my Secret Santa.

Even as I write this, I am less than two days from my company’s holiday party, and I have yet to purchase a gift for him. And to make it even a bit tougher on me…he’s not a golfer! So I have no idea where to even begin. Ah, who am I kidding – he’s getting a bottle of something. Only if this guy would take up golf, I’d have some great ideas for Secret Santa gifts.

If you’ve followed any of my previous posts regarding holiday gifts (A Few Golf Items Not Under My Tree and It’s Christmas in July for Golfers) you’ll see that some of my ideas were on the expensive side. But this time, I need to keep costs down due to our Secret Santa spending limit. Well that and I’m poor. But along with a gift from me comes a bit of my sense of humor. So lets just say, these gifts might not be for everyone. With that being said, lets start with this one:

199Ah, the Potty Putter. Now that’s a classic. For everyone who believes spending a little time on the ol’ porcelain throne is quite the waste of time, then here’s a great opportunity to turn it into quality time. Why not leave a scorecard along with it? Play a game with whoever follows you in? OK, maybe that’s pushing it a little bit. But you know what’s not? This:

What could go better with the potty putter than a roll of 19th hole bath tissue? I don’t know about you, but sometimes you just need a little something fresh for the reading room. After all, it’s called the reading room for a reason, no?

But what about something that your Secret Santa gift recipient could use out on the course? Well, how about this golf bag?

Now this looks like something quite convenient. A nice little pouch that could give you easy access to your balls. Sort of a ball bag for your golf bag. Nothing can intimidate another golfer more than carrying your balls on the outside. Why is everyone giggling? I don’t get it.

OK, so the guy I have to buy for isn’t a golfer, but maybe your stocking stuffer or Secret Santa recipient is. But not just a golfer – it has to be a golfer with a sense of humor. A golfer who would appreciate a bit of bathroom humor. Or someone who would just like the convenience of having a ball sack hanging off of their golf bag….oooohhhhh….I get it now. Funny stuff! In case anyone is reading this and has me for Secret Santa…see above.

Swing ’til you’re happy!

Oh No! I’ve Lost My Golf Hook-Up!

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Doesn’t everyone just love that guy/girl that’s got your hook-up? You know, the one who can get you something from somewhere for free or cheap? Maybe it was something that…ah-ahem…”Fell off a truck.” Or, when you ask where they came across this particular product, the response is “Don’t worry about it…I got a guy.” Who can’t appreciate that?

When I was a kid, it was a few friends who worked at McDonald’s, Dairy Queen and Dunkin’ Donuts. As I got older, it turned into a buddy who was a mechanic. My wife even managed to find someone who just happens to come across inexpensive televisions. Nice! And speaking of my wife, I was even lucky enough to befriend a jeweler years ago. Boy I’ll tell ya, you don’t realize how badly you’re getting screwed by a jewelry store until you bring them a diamond ring you purchased from a private jeweler and they tell you they would price it at almost three times what you paid! Now that’s a hook-up!

But speaking of my wife, I’m not ashamed to say that I had been using her as a hook-up also. Thanks to her job in the golf industry, I’ve played golf courses for a fraction of the regular cost as well as purchased my custom-fit clubs for about half of what it would normally cost. However, that all appears to be gone now. In a move that, for several reasons had to be made, my wife quit her job in the industry and has decided to turn her part-time photography business into her full-time work.

While I of course wish her the best, I will certainly miss the hook-up aspect of the previous job. See, I didn’t play a whole heck of a lot of golf this year. And of the few times I did manage to get out and play, it was at the benefit of my wife’s hookups. So what am I going to do without her?

Of course, her new pursuit has already found me someone who has done my brakes for a great price. It’s also found me an electronics repair guy who can hopefully save me a few bucks as well. Both are great hookups, but it’s still not golf.

I’m worried that without the “hook-up motivation” I may not be out on the course any more next season than I was this one. So I guess we’ll have to see what the off-season brings. You never know, maybe photography will bring her in contact with someone else in the golf industry that can help me out. But if not, as long as my wife is happy with her decision, I’ll settle for brakes and MP3 players.

Swing ’til you’re happy!

Tiger Wins! Now How Long Will We Have To Hear About It?

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He won. And for real this time. This time it wasn’t just an over-abundance of highlights showing the third place finisher. This time it wasn’t the media basically handing him the win after the second round. He actually won this time! And I gotta tell ya, I’m not looking forward to hearing about it.

I can picture it already. ESPN will be dropping to their knees (as usual) for Tiger. They can’t wait to just ram it down our throats. As a matter of fact, I think I’m going to just avoid watching ESPN for the next couple of days. Well, outside of Monday Night Football of course.

But seriously, Friday night ESPN was already handing the tournament over to Tiger again! Do they understand there are four rounds to a golf tournament? Watching SportsCenter, I saw one of their sidebar stories state that Tiger had a “Big Lead” after the second round. So I stuck around to see how big it was. Three strokes. Really? Three strokes is considered a “Big Lead” halfway through a tournament?! Well, I guess when Tiger holds the lead it is. Even after the third round, when he lost the lead, it was still all Tiger high-lights. Zach Johnson was just an after thought.

Seriously, come on. When is that stuff gonna stop? People were growing tired of Tiger before his “transgressions.” More were sick of him afterward. And now, even more are just sick and tired of him and the media who continues to just shove him down our throats! I know it’s going to be all over ESPN, so the only saving grace I have is the NFL.

One place where ESPN has not lost any understanding is that the NFL comes before just about everything else. It comes before baseball. It comes before basketball. It comes before college sports (obviously this does not include World Series games or college championships and bowl games). And it certainly comes before golf. Of course, at the time of my writing, SportsCenter has yet to air. But if history is any indicator, Tiger’s victory will not lead after a day an NFL Sunday. But, I can only hope.

However, could you imagine if this victory came outside of football season? I think I would physically choke on the coverage. Add another reason to the list that football is my favorite sport.

Swing ’til you’re happy!

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