Every time I watch golf on TV I “think” I gain some insight on how to better my game…(insert ‘wrong answer’ buzzer here). Damn you professional-touring-golfer-who-makes-it-look-so-easy. Why do you make me believe I can make these shots and instead I end up messing them up? You can’t tell me you’ve never watched a pro on TV hit a shot and then tell yourself “Ah ha! That’s how you do it.”

Now, add in the commentator (another enabler) and you’re convincing yourself you can hit ’em like they do and in no time be on the tour. For example, David Deherty was talking about Tiger’s shot and what he was going to do. Deherty, with all his wit, proceeds to tell the viewers how Tiger is going to “come across his body and really rotate his wrists”…WTF does that really mean to me? Regardless, I watch Tiger hit the shot flawlessly with some right to left movement on the ball and land it on the green.

Apparently, I must have consumed a retard sandwich prior to watching because I thought to myself…again…”Ah ha! That’s how you do it.” That’s definitely how you do it alright, if you want to make yourself look like an ass and take yourself out of your game. Not for nothing but, how do these commentators know what shot these guys are going hit before they hit it?

Here’s my last gripe with televised golf. I just got a new HDTV and the picture on it is pretty friggin’ good. I start to notice things like how much greener the fairways are than my local track. How much more level the tee boxes are and how smooth the greens are and so on. So, I’ve figured out a couple solutions to this tv hindering my golf experience thing. 1) practice, practice, practice and try to qualify or 2) change the channel…

Hit’em long…yell FORE!!