What To Do With Your Crappy Golf Gifts?

It happens every Christmas without fail…Someone (typically a non-golfer) will give me a crappy, useless golf gift that will just clutter-up my attic. Oh, they mean well, but they should know better.

“But my co-worker (or neighbor, or cousin or concubine) loves golf. Why shouldn’t I buy them that little desktop golfer figurine with the plaid pants?”

I think the answer is obvious: Because regardless of if they like golf or not, a little golfer figurine for your office is just plain stupid.

For me, this past holiday was no different (see photo below).

golf bag telephone

Yes, that is what it looks like: A golf bag telephone. Let me restate that: A foot and a half tall golf bag telephone. OK, I know what you’re thinking; It’s the thought that counts.

But seriously, where am I supposed to put that thing? First off, I don’t even have a home phone line, so actually using it is out. Secondly, even if I could use it, there’d be no space left on my desk to do any work!

So what should I do with it? Is there a place you can send all your kitsch to have it recycled? If only.

I ran across a mommy blogger complaining about holiday tchotchkes she received as gifts and one commenter suggested to donate the stuff to Goodwill. That’s actually not a bad idea – I’ll bet someone will get excited over this thing.

Of course, there are a plethora of golfers who read this blog. Perhaps one of you can use this to complete that golf-themed den you’ve been working on for the past 10 years?

So here’s the deal: Email me at greg@golfstinks.com if you want this phone (include your snail mail address)! If I get multiple requests (doubtful, but you never know) then I’ll randomly choose someone. If I don’t get any requests (entirely plausible), then it’s off to the Goodwill.

Upon which, one of my crazy aunts will probably stumble across it, buy it and re-gift it to me for next Christmas.

A few notes on this phone: It didn’t come in a box, so there are no instructions. And since I don’t have a landline, I haven’t actually checked that it works. It seems to be in rather good condition though. Hey, what do you want for free?

**UPDATE! Congrats to Pat from New York – he was one of several people (believe it or not) interested in owning the golf bag telephone! According to Pat, the phone is going to reside in his “downstairs recreation area.” Enjoy it Pat – obviously you’ll get more use out of it than I would have!**


  1. I’d like to share this article with others, but that would undoubtedly bring competition to who gets the phone…

    Great post, now send me my stinkin’ phone!

  2. One of the gifts I know that’s great (and for sure will be kept) would be something from http://annestone.com/practice-putting-greens/
    I’ve always had favorable responses about them when I give them out. (and they actually do use and keep the stuff, too)

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