WARNING: Again…The following challenges are intended for reading entertainment purposes and not to be performed. Unless you are a total moron or just curious like me.
Here we go once more with another thrilling and action packed set of challenges for you to enjoy when your spirits are low and your score is high. Behold, a great chance to lift your head out of that cloud of four letter words that include mothers and other profanities that would put you on the bottom of Santa’s naughty list. (PS: I’m starting with #4 cuz numbers 1-3 are already taken – You can check it out HERE).
Challenge #4: Beer Cart Heist
Yessiree Bob, just like the title says, jack a beer cart from the MOFOBETE for your round. Accomplish this and consider yourself a motherf-in’ hero! Actually, more of a jackass than hero but, the story would surely get funnier through the years. I guess there is more than one way to approach this challenge. I opt for the Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid robbing a train on horse back method. Although, the “hey your back tire is flat” routine always stirs up a good chuckle. DIMT speaking like a pirate while performing this feat adds greater comical value? Well then shiver me timbers you scallywag you.
Justification: hmmm… free beer?
Challenge #5: Golf Terminologizing
Alright, here we have a personal favorite. I like to play with strangers and create words that could be actual golf terms, or at least use made up words and if questioned on the validity of the word reply with either “Wow, these silk boxers feel great!!” or “Ooh, that sure is warm on the leg” and walk away.
Here are some examples:
1.I sliced because my wrists never rondulated.
2.The break in the green seems to extrapify to the left.
3.These terrociuos winds could shorten Daly’s drive by fifty yards.
These are some plain examples but you get the point. Hey, where’s the challenge if I give you the good ones. Use your brain for once and stop reading this crap!
Justification: Pure S n’ G.
Challenge #6 Prison Rules Golf
This requires making one in the foursome (obviously not you) your personal servant, or as those residing at Sing Sing prefer to call this act: Making you my bitch. For example, upon completion of a hole you proceed to the cart and declare to your servant: “Yo bitch, you better put that flag in the cup and grabs my ball before I shank you!” DIMT a “bitch” can be traded to another golfer for ten cigarettes?** NOTE: Exchange rate to USD is not readily available nor do I care to find out.
Justification: No real justification.
**We here at golfstinks.com do not promote using tobacco products as currency. We loves us some cold hard cash! So donations would be splendid…
Really, Pete…
The proper spelling of “terrociuos” is “terrocious.” Look, if you’re gonna extrabulate on your pontications, at least spell them correctly!
Holy Crap! Only I would be able to misspell a word that I made up…you see there was a slight decrebilation of my phonicative verbalysis
Touché Mike…Touché.