WARNING: The following challenges are intended for reading entertainment purposes and not to be performed. Unless you are a total moron or just curious like me. For Part 2 in this series, please click HERE.
Does sucking at golf get you down? You arrive, unload your bag, mangle the course, screw up your shots and have to listen to some pipe tell you to keep your head down. Well, I too have been in that scenario and looked for a way to better my situation. I realized that without practice and hours upon hours of being on the course, I will never become a better golfer. So, I took the liberty and created challenges to keep my spirits up while golfing poorly.
Challenge #1: The Piñata Drive
Ok, you get blindfolded, take your driver and hold it straight up so you can bend over and rest your head on the grip while the club head is touching the ground, and in traditional fashion, you revolve around the club as your buddies count each revolution in Spanish (you may stop at ten, sorry “diez”). You then proceed, with a little help, to where your ball is teed up and swing till the stuff comes out. What do you mean ‘What stuff?’ Well, I don’t know… until you make contact with something wise ass! Did I mention that (DIMT from here on out, hey everybody else makes up their own acronyms) alcohol must be consumed prior to the blindfolding and in between revolutions and your approach to the ball or more properly, your “set-up?”
Justification: You are going to screw up your tee shot anyway.
Challenge #2: En Garde!
Challenge anyone and everyone to a fencing duel using their driver shaft as a sword. If they decline and walk away, proceed to smack the back of their leg with the shaft in a whipping motion and immediately scream “En garde!” This will easily get your ass kicked or make for some good side betting. Either way, it’s entertainment.
Justification: Sharpens the ol’ reflexes and helps with the hand-eye coordination thing.
Challenge #3: Tee For Two
Two butt cheeks that is. How long can you keep a golf tee wedged in your butt crack? No one has to know, call it our secret big boy! More points the hotter the weather. DIMT a golf ball can be substituted for the more “advanced” partaker in this challenge?
Justification: It depends on who you are asking. My justification is giving the tee to the annoying one in the foursome.