the legend of bagger vance Archives • GolfStinks

Golf has been the subject of many movies. Some of them comedies (Caddyshack, Happy Gilmore) and some more serious (The Greatest Game Ever Played, The Legend of Bagger Vance). In each of those movies golf played a major, or at least significant role. But it’s funny, for a game that’s always taken so seriously, I’ve noticed many films or television shows that use golf as somewhat of a comic relief. Perhaps it’s the writers taking a bit of a shot at the seriousness of the sport? What do I mean? Well, here are a few examples:

How about this scene from The Walking Dead (season premiere last night!)? In this scene from an otherwise dark and somewhat disturbing show, The Governor and one of his henchmen stand atop a makeshift wall, launching drives at aimlessly wandering zombies. It’s a funny few seconds from an otherwise, unfunny show. Now, did anyone watch Lost?

If so, do you remember this scene? Again, not a funny show. These people are trapped on a mysterious island, smoke monsters chasing them and no idea where they are or how long they’ll be there. So what to do to let off a little steam? Find a set of golf clubs from the plane wreckage and build a makeshift golf course. Complete that with a fat guy and a skinny guy gyrating by the pin to distract the guy teeing off? Now that’s how you put a smile on someone’s face. Speaking of smiles, what about another classic, funny scene from an otherwise unfunny movie…

A great scene where a couple of FBI agents are watching Nicky (Joe Pesci) from a circling airplane only to run out of gas and are forced to land on the fairway. As Nicky and Ace watch the agents hurry away, Nicky gives one of many great lines – “$100 whoever hits the plane.” And while on the subject of mob movies…

Just one of many great scenes from a great show, The Sopranos. In this one, Tony is trying to fit in with his neighbor, like a regular guy. But on the course, he quickly realizes he is being treated as more of a circus freak than one of the guys. So for their entertainment, he tells them a story about John Gotti, to let them know what kind of a guy he is. It’s not exactly a funny scene out of context. But in relation to the rest of the episode, it is.

Point here is, as I mentioned earlier, golf is often times used as some type of comic relief in otherwise serious times. Kind of funny considering how serious many golfers take their sport. Maybe we can all take a hint from the movies and TV and take it a little less seriously ourselves. You’ll probably enjoy it much more!

Swing ’til you’re happy!

I’m standing a few yards behind my teed-up golf ball on the first hole, trying to mimic that scene in The Legend of Bagger Vance – you know, the one where Bobby Jones is glaring down the fairway with deadly intensity? He clears his mind of everything except the task at hand; he visualizes the perfect golf shot. The film’s soundtrack picks-up and a wind begins to wisp as soft piano keys entrance you with a gentle arpeggiation…he’s in the field.

Setting up in that way never works for me…it’s that damn music; I can’t get it out of my head. Written by talented British composer Rachel Portman, the score immerses me into dreamy thought. The music is intensified as Junuh sets himself to hit. The melody is more than engaging; you may be sitting in your living room but somehow, you’re transposed onto the golf course. You can smell the freshly cut grass; hear birds chirping as they take flight. It’s as if you’re part of every ripple and undulation in the fairway; you feel the club become an extension of your arms; your eyes guide the ball to its soft landing in the middle of the fairway. Junuh takes his shot; the music stops; and you’re back in front of the television.

Part of my problem on the golf course is I give myself a soundtrack to play along with – in my mind I mean. I guess you can say music inspires me; it probably does for many of us. But I actually think of a song to inspire some of my golf shots. This can be a distraction – especially when the song is “I’m on a Boat” by The Lonely Island (featuring T-Pain). I’m not sure why that song inspires me, it’s a spoof rap track that’s meant to be silly, but there I am teeing-it-up on hole #15 to the lyrics: “I got my swim trunks and my flippy-floppies…” Plunk – I’ll need to get on a boat just to fish-out my tee-shot.

Without fail, someone in my foursome will drop a line from Caddyshack at the turn. So? So let’s dance! Ever try teeing-off to “Any Way You Want It” by Journey? Yeah, that’s got slice written all over it (and I NEVER slice)!

After a few holes, I finally shake the falsetto wailings of Steve Perry and settle-in on something more appropriate. Perhaps if it’s the last hole and I’m putting my final stroke of the day, I’ll think of the closing scene of The Greatest Game Ever Played…

But I usually can’t stomach more than 20 seconds of that. Inevitably, my putt will fall just short of the hole, leaving me with a “Cuban” – oh how I wish the course had a gopher problem…

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