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What is Golf Art?

January 18, 2012 | By Greg D'Andrea | 2 Comments

My post last week about that golf bag telephone really got me thinking about why these golf nicknacks are created in the first place. And then it occurred to me that these things are, technically speaking anyhow, a form of art.

A telephone in the shape of a golf bag is art you say?

My wife has a BFA (Bachelor of Fine Arts). She’s always said; “if the person who created it calls it art, then it’s art.” It doesn’t matter if it’s just a canvas splattered with paint shot out of a cannon at 500 paces – if the guy lighting the canon fuse calls it art, then we’re perfectly justified in hanging it on our wall.

So let’s get back to my golf bag telephone for a second. Pat from New York (who emailed me to win said phone last week) considers it art, even though I didn’t. He plans on displaying it in his house with pride. And for Pat, it’s not just static art, but it’s functional art too (after all, it’s a phone to boot). Pour yourself a glass of wine, pull up a chair and admire it, Pat!

But let’s face it, when we think about golf, we think about things like the tours, or courses, or clubs & balls. When we think about the golf industry, apparel and equipment retailers come to mind. But we forget that this multi-billion dollar industry includes a place for art too. And I’m not just talking about the golf bag telephone anymore.

Take a look at the images below:


That, my friends, is golf art. I spied those at a touristy-type store in the historic district of Albuquerque. Both are created using golf things (parts of a club, a ball, tees – even the crown on the bird’s head in the top photo is pieces of a soft spike)! It takes a certain breed to put those kinds of tchotchkes in your home, and I’m not among them. But you can’t deny, it’s art.

Of course, art also includes paintings and there is no shortage of golf paintings out there – observe the two distinctly different ones below:

My eye was drawn to painting on top, while my wife (the artist) chose the one on the bottom as being attractive.

And what about the subject in the aforementioned paintings – the courses. Are they not art in and of themselves? Walking down a quiet fairway on a perfect day – as far as I’m concerned, when you’re on the golf course, you’re surrounded in amazing art. The way the green distinguishes itself from the fairway and rough; the gorgeous vista from the tee; a ball that softly landed a foot from the cup – to me, this is all art – and I’m sure the course designer considered it as much. Heck, one could argue that the new forged wedge in my bag is a work of art! (OK, maybe I’m getting a little carried away).

But let’s try to answer my original question: What is golf art? Perhaps an appropriate way to answer that would be to rearrange the question into a statement…

Golf is art.

Filed Under: Uncategorized Tagged With: art, course, crafts, golf, golf stinks, golfstinks, painting, tchotchkes

Golf Course Country Club…Crashing?

January 13, 2012 | By Pete Girotto | Leave a Comment

I’m pretty sure most of us have seen the movie “Wedding Crashers”. If not, I recommend watching it. In short, it’s a film about two bachelors (Vince Vaughn and Owen Wilson) that crash weddings in search of free food, drinks and to pick up women. Call them want you want: Freeloaders, scumbags, whatever. I’m also pretty sure that the thought of doing this at least once has bounced around in our heads. Maybe as a to-do on the ol’ bucket list?

A buddy of mine (ABOM), in perhaps his not so proudest of moments, informed me of a “Wedding Crashers” variation he has participated in – crashing golf tournaments. The best part is he doesn’t even play golf. Naturally, my first question was “If you don’t play golf, WTF are you doing at a golf tourney?” ABOM then enlightened me on his motive. He said he shows up at the end for the dinner and open bar. Intrigued I was.

“Go on…I’m listening” I replied. ABOM proceeded to fill in the details; He said the most important thing was to look the part. The golf logo hat, shirt and golf shoes he borrowed from his brother that were a size too small. He even went as far as to button the top button on his polo shirt. I was impressed by his attention to detail. I’m not sure if they do that anymore, but for someone who doesn’t golf, he really did his research. ABOM’s theory was to look as authentic as possible and not raise suspicion.

The story gets better. This particular tournament (which, he crashed with a co-conspirator) was, as he put it, “a perfect set-up.” Meaning there was a buffet-style dinner and open bar. There were no seating arrangements or anything like that. As a matter of fact, ABOM sat at the bar and freeloaded like a bandit. “This can’t get any better” he thought. Until he saw his boss, who just happened to be one of the organizers of the event.

“Crap!” he thought. Well, it was more of a slow-mo “Ohhhhhh shhhhhiiiittttt!” “I gotta get the f$#@ out of here!” As he frantically planned his escape, the thought of his boss exposing him made it even worse. All he could think about was how much of an asshole he was going to look like (not to mention the possibility of losing his job). Luckily, ABOM’s accomplice was able to run interference allowing the exit strategy to be executed flawlessly. My final question to him; “Would you do it again?” His reply “Why not…”

*ABOM did make it a point to mention to me that he would only crash tournaments that do not benefit any charities. It’s good to know there is honor amongst scumbags. And no, ABOM is not really me.

Hit’em long…yell FORE!!!

Filed Under: Uncategorized Tagged With: golf, golf stinks, golf tournament, golf tourney; golfers; golf stinks, golfstinks, owen wilson, vince vaughn, wedding crashers

Using Your Head At Golf…Literally

December 16, 2011 | By Pete Girotto | Leave a Comment

With the recent suspension of the Pittsburgh Steeler’s James Harrison for that helmet-to-helmet concussion-inducing lick he dropped on the Cleveland Brown’s QB Colt McCoy, it had me wondering about head injuries. Moreso, about the recent call to action for all sports to raise awareness to the severity of head injuries.

I remember when I was younger a lot of these injuries were passed off as a “stinger” or “you got your bell rung” when in fact these could have had traumatic long term effects. Surprisingly, golf also has its share of head injuries.

The following is an excerpt from research Golf Digest did on head injuries in golf:

Accidents often occur when golfers are fooling around. Most at risk are newcomers to the game, particularly children. In 1997, nearly 25 percent of all golf-related injuries occurred to children age 5 to 14. Even more striking, a recent study from Scotland reported that 40 percent of all sport-related head injuries among children were related to golf. Many of these injuries are caused not by golf balls, but by golf clubs, often as a result of kids playing with their parents’ clubs at home.

This is not to mention, the ER sees about 40,000 golf injuries annually. On the bright side though, very rarely are these injuries fatal. Another interesting point is that Pro-Am tournaments turn out their fair share of injuries…but not to the golfers; On tour, it’s the spectators who need to watch out. I can see it now, the gallery gathers around the tee box for Jim Furyk’s drive but make the mistake of not moving when Jim’s partner, Charles Barkley, tees off. The next thing you know, Sir Charles’ ball is bouncing off onlookers’ heads like a pinball machine. Good thing is you’ll probably only make that mistake once.

All jokes aside, head injuries are very serious and I’m glad more attention is being brought to this issue. Having played a bunch of sports and having had “my bell rung” a few times I can tell you…it’s not fun. So, the next time you’re out on the course and your buddy takes one off of his melon, look for these tell-tale signs courtesy of the Mayo Clinic and get help immediately.

  • Loss of consciousness for a few seconds to a few minutes
  • No loss of consciousness, but a state of being dazed, confused or disoriented
  • Memory or concentration problems
  • Headache
  • Dizziness or loss of balance
  • Nausea or vomiting
  • Sensory problems, such as blurred vision, ringing in the ears or a bad taste in the mouth
  • Sensitivity to light or sound
  • Hit’em long…yell FORE!!! Use your head.

    Filed Under: Uncategorized Tagged With: Charles Barkley, Cleveland Browns, Colt McCoy, golf, golf digest, golf injuries, golf stinks, golfstinks, head injuries, James Harrison, Jim Furyk, Mayo Clinic, Pittsburgh Steelers

    It’s Not The Clubs, It’s The Player.

    December 9, 2011 | By Pete Girotto | 1 Comment

    What a huge, steaming pile of hypocritical bull excrement! I hear that statement a lot and it always made me wonder. I mean, I’m pretty sure if you give a pro a starter set he or she will still shoot well. My issue is the whole up selling when it comes to buying clubs. I also understand the sales people need to make a living too…but to what extent?

    You never see a golf club ad or commercial showcasing it’s bottom of the barrel clubs. It’s always the pro they sponsor smashing the ball into outer space because they are swinging the newest product. Then there are some of the golf pro’s that sell clubs out of their shops. Try to tell them you want to take up the game and are looking for an inexpensive set.

    The next thing you know this guy has you trying out different clubs and measuring you for a custom set. I thought “it’s not the clubs, it’s the player…” Yeah but their answer to that is “You can grow into these clubs.” What the f%$# does that mean? I bought a nice set a few years ago with the whole “growing into them” theory and guess what…I still suck. Grow into them…I got something to grow into them.

    What I want to see is a tour pro walking down the fairway while his caddy is carrying his bag full of old rusty clubs because…”It’s not the clubs.” That would be the best to see Tiger bust out a 3-wood with duct tape on it or even Rory have an old tube sock as a head cover. Nonetheless, whether your clubs cost $100 or $1000 just get out there and have fun.

    Hit’em long…yell FORE!!!

    Filed Under: Uncategorized Tagged With: buying clubs, clubs, golf, golf stinks, golfstinks, rory mcilroy, tiger woods

    10 Questions with a Non-Golfer

    December 7, 2011 | By Greg D'Andrea | 1 Comment

    Here at the Golf Stinks blog, we certaintly do our part in blaming the pro tours and the media for sending the wrong message about this fantastic sport.

    And, while acknowledging the economy is a major factor, we still highlight things that the golf industry can do to help drive new people to the game (I’d normally add a link here to prove my point, but we’ve literally written so much, it will be easier for you to just look at our archive section in the right-hand sidebar).

    That all being said, I thought it would be interesting to talk with a non-golfer about their perceptions of the sport. I wonder if many of the golf stereotypes are true? To that end, my brother-in-law happens to be in town and I know he’s never played golf before.

    Let’s see what a 30-year-old non-golfer has to say about…well, golf:

    Q: What type of person plays golf?
    A: Retired. Retirees. And anybody else that has a lot of money and a lot of free time.

    Interviewer’s note: Why am I not surprised by this answer?

    Q: Do you think a person has to be rich to play golf?
    A: Maybe not rich, but you definitely have to have…It’s an expensive hobby. Golf clubs aren’t cheap. Courses aren’t cheap. I think probably the cheapest thing about golf would be buying the balls.

    Q: When someone mentions they play golf, what’s the first thought that pops into your head?
    A: I picture them in golf clothes – especially like those knickers and that hat with the poof on top.

    Interviewer’s note: I’m never telling anyone I play golf again.

    Q: When you hear the name Tiger Woods, what comes to mind?
    A: Sell-out. I think of all his merchandise, video games. I mean, I’m sure he’s a good golfer and all, but his stuff is is everywhere.

    Q: As a follow-up to that, what about the Tiger sex scandal?
    A: It’s no different than any other celeb…he was married; boinked around, blah, blah, blah…same old story.

    Interviewer’s note: Well put.

    Q: OK, so we know you don’t play golf. Have you ever held a club?
    A: Yeah, at the mini golf course.

    Q: So you’ve played mini golf – what are your impressions of that?
    A: I like it. I have fond memories of hitting a ball off a couple of walls into a giant plastic castle.

    Interviewer’s note: This is why Caddyshack 2 sucked.

    Q: You’ve mentioned you know the basic terms and rules in other sports like [American] football and baseball. Do you think you have a basic understanding of golf’s terms and rules? Please elaborate.
    A: Yeah. Get the ball in the hole in as few hits as possible and always play the ball where it lies.

    Interviewer’s note: “Always play the ball where it lies.” At what point did we weekend golfers stop following the very fundamentals of this game? Be honest…

    Q: Do you know what a birdie means in golf?
    A: That’s when you make it in the hole with …[pause]… with one stroke fewer than par [looks at interviewer unsure of himself].

    Interviewer: That’s very good!
    Non-Golfer: And I only know that from all the video games.
    Interviewer: I see. The ones with Tiger Woods you mean?
    Non-Golfer: Yeah [laughs].

    Q: Do you think golf courses are a waste of natural resources and/or prime real estate?
    A: No, because if a golf course fails, it can be easily converted into a very scenic park.

    Interviewer’s note: I’m totally going to use that answer.

    Q: Would you ever consider taking up golf?
    A: I have [thought about it], but I always figured it would be when I was older – when [I have] nothing to do and [I] need exercise.

    Interviewer’s note: So to this non-golfer, we’re a bunch of old rich guys with nothing to do and who need exercise. Hmmmm. When you think about it, that pretty much hits every golf stereotype on the head. I think I should interview other non-golfers and see if the answers are similar. Till then…

    Filed Under: Uncategorized Tagged With: caddyshack 2, golf, golf stinks, golfstinks, non-golfer, old, questions, retired, rich, sex, tiger woods

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