GolfStinks

A Golf Blog for the Rest of Us!

Happy Holidays To Our Fellow Stinky Golfers!

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The holidays are great. But the holidays are exhausting as well. Everyone agree? The running around. The hustle and bustle. The last minute everything! Sometimes you can feel like you need a vacation from being on vacation! Like you need to get back to work in order to get some rest!

Well honestly, it’s no different for us here at golfstinks either. Stinky golfers Greg, Pete and myself all work to consistently put up whatever content we can. Be it informative, comical, sarcastic or just plain off-the-wall…we’re doing the best we can to keep it comin’ year round.

Obviously, we do things a little different around here. As you all know by now, we’re not really covering/following the tours. We’re not reviewing equipment. And we’re certainly not trying to give you any swing advice! Lord knows none of us are qualified to do any of these things! But that also doesn’t keep us from going on about the game we love. We just do it from the standpoint of your average, everyday hack. And believe it or not…that’s not as easy as it sounds! Especially when all of us are working regular full-time jobs, raising kids, maintaining a relationship, family, home, etc. Or, all of the above!

Hence the need for a break/vacation. And friends, that’s exactly what we’re doing right now. We’ve been running around like chickens with our heads cut off for the past few days. So much so that we’re among those people who need to get back to work in order to get some rest! So until Friday, we’re not going to say a thing about golf except to say…

Happy holidays to all of our fellow golfers…stinky and non-stinky! We thank you for your continued support! And don’t forget…

Swing ’til you’re happy!

Using Your Head At Golf…Literally

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With the recent suspension of the Pittsburgh Steeler’s James Harrison for that helmet-to-helmet concussion-inducing lick he dropped on the Cleveland Brown’s QB Colt McCoy, it had me wondering about head injuries. Moreso, about the recent call to action for all sports to raise awareness to the severity of head injuries.

I remember when I was younger a lot of these injuries were passed off as a “stinger” or “you got your bell rung” when in fact these could have had traumatic long term effects. Surprisingly, golf also has its share of head injuries.

The following is an excerpt from research Golf Digest did on head injuries in golf:

Accidents often occur when golfers are fooling around. Most at risk are newcomers to the game, particularly children. In 1997, nearly 25 percent of all golf-related injuries occurred to children age 5 to 14. Even more striking, a recent study from Scotland reported that 40 percent of all sport-related head injuries among children were related to golf. Many of these injuries are caused not by golf balls, but by golf clubs, often as a result of kids playing with their parents’ clubs at home.

This is not to mention, the ER sees about 40,000 golf injuries annually. On the bright side though, very rarely are these injuries fatal. Another interesting point is that Pro-Am tournaments turn out their fair share of injuries…but not to the golfers; On tour, it’s the spectators who need to watch out. I can see it now, the gallery gathers around the tee box for Jim Furyk’s drive but make the mistake of not moving when Jim’s partner, Charles Barkley, tees off. The next thing you know, Sir Charles’ ball is bouncing off onlookers’ heads like a pinball machine. Good thing is you’ll probably only make that mistake once.

All jokes aside, head injuries are very serious and I’m glad more attention is being brought to this issue. Having played a bunch of sports and having had “my bell rung” a few times I can tell you…it’s not fun. So, the next time you’re out on the course and your buddy takes one off of his melon, look for these tell-tale signs courtesy of the Mayo Clinic and get help immediately.

  • Loss of consciousness for a few seconds to a few minutes
  • No loss of consciousness, but a state of being dazed, confused or disoriented
  • Memory or concentration problems
  • Headache
  • Dizziness or loss of balance
  • Nausea or vomiting
  • Sensory problems, such as blurred vision, ringing in the ears or a bad taste in the mouth
  • Sensitivity to light or sound

    • Hit’em long…yell FORE!!! Use your head.

    Oh No! I’ve Lost My Golf Hook-Up!

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    Doesn’t everyone just love that guy/girl that’s got your hook-up? You know, the one who can get you something from somewhere for free or cheap? Maybe it was something that…ah-ahem…”Fell off a truck.” Or, when you ask where they came across this particular product, the response is “Don’t worry about it…I got a guy.” Who can’t appreciate that?

    When I was a kid, it was a few friends who worked at McDonald’s, Dairy Queen and Dunkin’ Donuts. As I got older, it turned into a buddy who was a mechanic. My wife even managed to find someone who just happens to come across inexpensive televisions. Nice! And speaking of my wife, I was even lucky enough to befriend a jeweler years ago. Boy I’ll tell ya, you don’t realize how badly you’re getting screwed by a jewelry store until you bring them a diamond ring you purchased from a private jeweler and they tell you they would price it at almost three times what you paid! Now that’s a hook-up!

    But speaking of my wife, I’m not ashamed to say that I had been using her as a hook-up also. Thanks to her job in the golf industry, I’ve played golf courses for a fraction of the regular cost as well as purchased my custom-fit clubs for about half of what it would normally cost. However, that all appears to be gone now. In a move that, for several reasons had to be made, my wife quit her job in the industry and has decided to turn her part-time photography business into her full-time work.

    While I of course wish her the best, I will certainly miss the hook-up aspect of the previous job. See, I didn’t play a whole heck of a lot of golf this year. And of the few times I did manage to get out and play, it was at the benefit of my wife’s hookups. So what am I going to do without her?

    Of course, her new pursuit has already found me someone who has done my brakes for a great price. It’s also found me an electronics repair guy who can hopefully save me a few bucks as well. Both are great hookups, but it’s still not golf.

    I’m worried that without the “hook-up motivation” I may not be out on the course any more next season than I was this one. So I guess we’ll have to see what the off-season brings. You never know, maybe photography will bring her in contact with someone else in the golf industry that can help me out. But if not, as long as my wife is happy with her decision, I’ll settle for brakes and MP3 players.

    Swing ’til you’re happy!

    It’s Not The Clubs, It’s The Player.

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    What a huge, steaming pile of hypocritical bull excrement! I hear that statement a lot and it always made me wonder. I mean, I’m pretty sure if you give a pro a starter set he or she will still shoot well. My issue is the whole up selling when it comes to buying clubs. I also understand the sales people need to make a living too…but to what extent?

    You never see a golf club ad or commercial showcasing it’s bottom of the barrel clubs. It’s always the pro they sponsor smashing the ball into outer space because they are swinging the newest product. Then there are some of the golf pro’s that sell clubs out of their shops. Try to tell them you want to take up the game and are looking for an inexpensive set.

    The next thing you know this guy has you trying out different clubs and measuring you for a custom set. I thought “it’s not the clubs, it’s the player…” Yeah but their answer to that is “You can grow into these clubs.” What the f%$# does that mean? I bought a nice set a few years ago with the whole “growing into them” theory and guess what…I still suck. Grow into them…I got something to grow into them.

    What I want to see is a tour pro walking down the fairway while his caddy is carrying his bag full of old rusty clubs because…”It’s not the clubs.” That would be the best to see Tiger bust out a 3-wood with duct tape on it or even Rory have an old tube sock as a head cover. Nonetheless, whether your clubs cost $100 or $1000 just get out there and have fun.

    Hit’em long…yell FORE!!!

    10 Questions with a Non-Golfer

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    Here at the Golf Stinks blog, we certaintly do our part in blaming the pro tours and the media for sending the wrong message about this fantastic sport.

    And, while acknowledging the economy is a major factor, we still highlight things that the golf industry can do to help drive new people to the game (I’d normally add a link here to prove my point, but we’ve literally written so much, it will be easier for you to just look at our archive section in the right-hand sidebar).

    That all being said, I thought it would be interesting to talk with a non-golfer about their perceptions of the sport. I wonder if many of the golf stereotypes are true? To that end, my brother-in-law happens to be in town and I know he’s never played golf before.

    Let’s see what a 30-year-old non-golfer has to say about…well, golf:

    Q: What type of person plays golf?
    A: Retired. Retirees. And anybody else that has a lot of money and a lot of free time.

    Interviewer’s note: Why am I not surprised by this answer?

    Q: Do you think a person has to be rich to play golf?
    A: Maybe not rich, but you definitely have to have…It’s an expensive hobby. Golf clubs aren’t cheap. Courses aren’t cheap. I think probably the cheapest thing about golf would be buying the balls.

    Q: When someone mentions they play golf, what’s the first thought that pops into your head?
    A: I picture them in golf clothes – especially like those knickers and that hat with the poof on top.

    Interviewer’s note: I’m never telling anyone I play golf again.

    Q: When you hear the name Tiger Woods, what comes to mind?
    A: Sell-out. I think of all his merchandise, video games. I mean, I’m sure he’s a good golfer and all, but his stuff is is everywhere.

    Q: As a follow-up to that, what about the Tiger sex scandal?
    A: It’s no different than any other celeb…he was married; boinked around, blah, blah, blah…same old story.

    Interviewer’s note: Well put.

    Q: OK, so we know you don’t play golf. Have you ever held a club?
    A: Yeah, at the mini golf course.

    Q: So you’ve played mini golf – what are your impressions of that?
    A: I like it. I have fond memories of hitting a ball off a couple of walls into a giant plastic castle.

    Interviewer’s note: This is why Caddyshack 2 sucked.

    Q: You’ve mentioned you know the basic terms and rules in other sports like [American] football and baseball. Do you think you have a basic understanding of golf’s terms and rules? Please elaborate.
    A: Yeah. Get the ball in the hole in as few hits as possible and always play the ball where it lies.

    Interviewer’s note: “Always play the ball where it lies.” At what point did we weekend golfers stop following the very fundamentals of this game? Be honest…

    Q: Do you know what a birdie means in golf?
    A: That’s when you make it in the hole with …[pause]… with one stroke fewer than par [looks at interviewer unsure of himself].

    Interviewer: That’s very good!
    Non-Golfer: And I only know that from all the video games.
    Interviewer: I see. The ones with Tiger Woods you mean?
    Non-Golfer: Yeah [laughs].

    Q: Do you think golf courses are a waste of natural resources and/or prime real estate?
    A: No, because if a golf course fails, it can be easily converted into a very scenic park.

    Interviewer’s note: I’m totally going to use that answer.

    Q: Would you ever consider taking up golf?
    A: I have [thought about it], but I always figured it would be when I was older – when [I have] nothing to do and [I] need exercise.

    Interviewer’s note: So to this non-golfer, we’re a bunch of old rich guys with nothing to do and who need exercise. Hmmmm. When you think about it, that pretty much hits every golf stereotype on the head. I think I should interview other non-golfers and see if the answers are similar. Till then…

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