GolfStinks

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Book Review: The Golf Excuse Handbook

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IMG_6411There are many, many golf books presented to GolfStinks and we can’t read them all. But when one is entitled “The Golf Excuse Handbook: A Duffer’s Survival Guide” we have a hard time passing it up.

I’ll start by making an excuse for the author: He’s a lawyer named Jason Frank. Seriously, who better to bend and twist the truth than a lawyer? You can basically say this book was written by an “excuse expert.”

And what Mr. Frank has done is written one of the greatest stroke-saving books in golf…because you don’t have to change a thing about your swing. You just have to be comfortable with making excuses.

For example, did you know you can start making excuses for your wretched play before you even step on the first tee? Mr. Frank lists several options for that, including a pre-round injury such as stubbing your toe (or a garage door falling on your head) that can translate into the shanks or yips during your round. And how about blaming the weather? Any weather – hot, cold, wind, rain – it can all be utilized to help you save face on the links.

But this book goes far beyond typical golf excuses and delves into the imaginative art of blaming anything other than yourself for a poor shot or round. And the keyword in the previous sentence is “art” – Mr. Frank truly is an artist at work when he formulates an excuse…and his book is packed with ready-to-use gems that you can take out on the course with you.

I laughed out loud at several of Mr. Frank’s anecdotes – many genuinely believable excuses; others, slightly preposterous…But all were in good fun. And to that end, I really enjoyed this book. His ability to turn anything close to a duff into a plausible acquittal is simply amazing. And quite honestly, I will probably think twice before so easily accepting any of my golf buddies’ excuses for poor play from now on.

“The Golf Excuse Handbook: A Duffer’s Survival Guide” is a hilarious read that will have you planning your excuse strategy before, during and after each of your future rounds of golf. With the holidays upon us, it will make a great gift for any golfer in your life.

To get your copy the book, click HERE or visit http://golfexcuses.com. Or, you can head on over to our Facebook page and “Like” the post on our wall entitled “Win the Golf Excuse Handbook!” where we’ll pick one random fan to win a copy of the book!

Book Review: Weird Golf

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golfstinks golf stinksI was intrigued when Dave Donelson emailed me to review his “fantastic, horrific, scientifically impossible and morally reprehensible” novel about golf.

A golf writer by trade, Mr. Donelson has strung together 18 short stories that engross you in mystery, suspense, comedy and a touch of horror.

Mr. Donelson is obviously an avid golfer – his tales, while tall, are written with such familiarity of golf course antics, you begin to believe what you are reading.

And what you read is somewhat comical, somewhat frightening and somewhat candid all wrapped in one. For example, his hilarious portrait of Superman and Batman playing a competitive round together is both ridiculous, yet believable at the same time.

His creepy tales of golf course ghosts and night crawlers (such as in “Bald Peter’s Pond” and “Night Putting”) leave you feeling a bit unnerved. While other stories such as “By The Rules” and “Choker” take typical golfer frustrations to near homicidal levels.

Meanwhile, Mr. Donelson throws-in what seems to be his own candid opinions of golf in “A Not-So-Brief History Of Golf Time” and “Three Club Wind” – both of which, if you really stop to think about what he is saying, make a ton of sense!

Each story is unique but shares a common thread: Things aren’t what they seem! You’ll surely think about this book the next time you golf after a full moon and you’ll definitely think twice before hassling that foursome of ladies ahead of you.

Weird Golf is a great book for your mystery novel-loving dad this Father’s Day. And if you’re a golfer that’s at all interested in the supernatural, Weird Golf is for you. A bit fantastical? Yes. A rollicking read? Absolutely.

For more about Weird Golf or to purchase the book, please go to http://www.weirdgolf.net/.

Book Review: Do I Get A Drop?

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When the guys from Golfstinks get together to play a round, we typically allow gimme putts; don’t care much if you take a Mulligan; and don’t mind if you drop a ball instead of walking back to re-tee.

I’d say we’re pretty normal golfers. Look, it’s not the Tour, we’re just out there to have fun. But I’d be lying if I said we just play however we want. The truth is we care about the rules of golf far more than we let on.

For example, no one in our foursome takes a Mulligan…ever. It’s not that we don’t allow them, it’s just that over the years, we simply stopped taking them. Gimme putts are rare too. And when we’re unsure of a ruling, I’ll typically pull out my phone, open up my USGA Rules app, and try to find out what to do.

I’d say most of the time, we just want to get it right (except for walking back to re-tee – that’s just not practical on most crowded public courses). But getting it right can be a challenge too. Have you ever flipped through the USGA rule book? Many times finding what you’re looking for is impractical in-and-of itself.

Enter the ingenious book by Doug Anderson: Do I Get A Drop? Mr. Anderson is an Australian accountant who decided the golf world needed a guide book for the rule book!

The book works by asking a simple question: Where is your ball? If it’s on the tee, turn to the “Tee” section. If it’s in a bunker, turn to the “Bunker” section. On the fairway or in the rough? Turn to the “Through the Green” section. There are also sections for the green, water hazards, OB and ground under repair too.

You literally just flip to the section that pertains to your situation and your answer will be found within seconds. This book will give you your ruling and get you on your way far quicker than the real rule book – and that’s good news both for you and the group behind you!

But “Do I Get A Drop?” is more than just a quick reference guide. If you read it from start to finish, it’s a quick and easy way to learn the rules. It’s packed with humorous cartoons that help explain different ruling situations – from grounding the club in a bunker to your options in casual water – it amuses as it teaches and as a result, you learn extremely quickly.

Plus, it helps you understand all those crazy rules too – for example, I never knew that you CAN’T ask your playing partner what club they used – a stupid rule, I know – but when money is on the line, it might come in handy!

“Do I Get A Drop?” is the perfect way to instantly find the ruling you need while on the course and a great way to learn the rules of golf while you’re in the living room. And as part of this post, Mr. Anderson has graciously provided us three copies to giveaway!

Just head on over to our Facebook page (“Like” us if you haven’t already) and Like the post on our wall entitled “Win a Free copy of the book Do I Get A Drop?” – that’s it! We’ll select three random people to get their very own copy of this useful book!

Good luck!

Book Review: G.O.L.F.

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golfstinks golf stinksDoes the acronym G.O.L.F. stand for “Greatest Of Life’s Frustrations” or “Game Of Limitless Fun?” Well, the author of G.O.L.F., Lane H. Luoma, will tell you it stands for both (and I think I agree).

I loved this book! I’m not sure how, but Mr. Luoma has figured out how to put down into words every single thought that’s ever crossed a golfer’s mind – it’s truly a rollocking read! What is more, he’s done a rather good job penning this book to appeal to the non-golfer too.

In the preface, Mr. Luoma states “you certainly don’t have to be a golfer to enjoy this book…” After reading that statement, I thought, “sure, what non-golfer is going to take the time to read this book?” But in all honesty, this book would greatly help those non-golfers understand the ups and downs their golfing buddies (or significant others) experience.

G.O.L.F. takes you on a journey of the game from those of us who experience it – from the pros to the Joes, the book levels the playing field, ignores handicaps and explains why everyone who’s ever played this game can be frustrated beyond imagination, yet still overwhelmingly smitten with it all at the same time.

For example, let’s take Chapter 8: “Warning! Hazardous to your Health (Mental).” The chapter takes you through an entire round, hole-by-hole, giving examples of what a terrible score you can end up with just because of strategicly-placed hazards (bunkers, lateral water, etc.). Yet after 17 nightmarish holes, you birdie the unbelievably difficult par 5, 18th-hole to finish on a high note and restore your love of the game. That, my friends, is golf.

From how luck (both good and bad) can affect your game; to being at the mercy of Mother Nature; to taking a look at some of the more interesting rules; G.O.L.F. lays-it-out as you’ve never read it before (oh, you may have thought it, but seeing on the printed page is a totally different experience).

Mr. Luoma takes golfers and non-golfers alike on a facinating voyage into what it really means to play this game – from chagrin to euphoria, it’s all in this book.

You can purchase Mr. Luoma’s book on the G.O.L.F. website, along with some other merchandise, including framed prints from the awesome artwork contained within its pages (I totally want that “Believe” print).

Book Review: Little Balls Big Dreams

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golfstinks golf stinksYou know that feeling you get when you hit a ball on the sweet spot of the club? When everything clicks – a smooth, fluid swing; perfect balance; solid contact…And, of course, the ball goes exactly where you intended it to go. You think to yourself; “If I could only hit it that way all the time.”

We all have those “perfect” shots inside us, we just need to work on hitting more than one a round (or season…or lifetime). But what if one perfect shot led to another and another and before you knew it, everything you ever learned about how to correctly swing a golf club connected both physically and mentally on a regular basis? Sounds a bit fantastical, doesn’t it? One shot and BAM! You’re a scratch golfer. Come on, that’s the stuff of fiction.

Well, actually, it is the stuff of fiction – in James Wolf’s novel “Little Balls Big Dreams” that’s exactly what happens to Matt True, the story’s lead character. Matt is your average guy in his 40s with a wife, kids and an 11 handicap. That is, until one day at his local club, he hits that “perfect” shot on the par 3, 6th hole. Everything connected – a smooth, fluid swing; perfect balance; solid contact…And, of course, the ball went exactly where he intended it to go…in this case, right in the hole for an ace.

But things didn’t end there for Matt. He knew deep down that the ace changed him. He was confident that he could reproduce that swing every time and with similar results…and he was correct – he finished his round at two under par (pretty impressive for an 11 handicap). After that, Matt continued to play scratch golf and he quickly began to resurrect his teenage dreams of becoming a pro golfer on tour. And that’s where the story really begins.

In Little Balls Big Dreams, Mr. Wolf takes you on an adventure of “what if.” What if you could become a scratch golfer after just one, game-changing shot? What would you do? Would you put yourself through Q-school when most of the players there are half your age? Would you sacrifice your family life and your stable job for a shot at life on the PGA Tour? Would your spouse even let you give it a go?

This short novel (167 pages) takes you on Matt’s journey to answer these questions and follow his dreams. I found myself seriously thinking about what I would do if I suddenly were a scratch golfer. And I could relate to the conversations Matt had with his wife over him pursuing his dream. And I could also relate to his concerns about being away from his children for long stretches of time. The only thing I couldn’t relate to was the feeling of being an awesome golfer – so until that happens, I guess I’m not really sure what I would do.

But in the book, you can sit back and enjoy how the story unfolds – how Matt’s decisions lead him to where he ends up when the last page is turned. Little Balls Big Dreams is a thought-provoking and entertaining story of golf, family, dreams and what really matters when you get right down to it.

You can purchase Little Balls Big Dreams HERE. Remember, Father’s Day is coming up!

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