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Hilarious Secret Santa Gifts For Golfers

December 19, 2011 | By Chris Chirico | 3 Comments

Is your Secret Santa recipient a golfer?

Well, it’s that time of year again…The time for last minute gift shopping. If you’re like me, then every year you wait until the last possible minute to finish up your holiday shopping. And someone who almost always comes within mere hours of being left out in the cold is the person I’ve pulled for my Secret Santa.

Even as I write this, I am less than two days from my company’s holiday party, and I have yet to purchase a gift for him. And to make it even a bit tougher on me…he’s not a golfer! So I have no idea where to even begin. Ah, who am I kidding – he’s getting a bottle of something. Only if this guy would take up golf, I’d have some great ideas for Secret Santa gifts.

If you’ve followed any of my previous posts regarding holiday gifts (A Few Golf Items Not Under My Tree and It’s Christmas in July for Golfers) you’ll see that some of my ideas were on the expensive side. But this time, I need to keep costs down due to our Secret Santa spending limit. Well that and I’m poor. But along with a gift from me comes a bit of my sense of humor. So lets just say, these gifts might not be for everyone. With that being said, lets start with this one:

199Ah, the Potty Putter. Now that’s a classic. For everyone who believes spending a little time on the ol’ porcelain throne is quite the waste of time, then here’s a great opportunity to turn it into quality time. Why not leave a scorecard along with it? Play a game with whoever follows you in? OK, maybe that’s pushing it a little bit. But you know what’s not? This:

What could go better with the potty putter than a roll of 19th hole bath tissue? I don’t know about you, but sometimes you just need a little something fresh for the reading room. After all, it’s called the reading room for a reason, no?

But what about something that your Secret Santa gift recipient could use out on the course? Well, how about this golf bag?

Now this looks like something quite convenient. A nice little pouch that could give you easy access to your balls. Sort of a ball bag for your golf bag. Nothing can intimidate another golfer more than carrying your balls on the outside. Why is everyone giggling? I don’t get it.

OK, so the guy I have to buy for isn’t a golfer, but maybe your stocking stuffer or Secret Santa recipient is. But not just a golfer – it has to be a golfer with a sense of humor. A golfer who would appreciate a bit of bathroom humor. Or someone who would just like the convenience of having a ball sack hanging off of their golf bag….oooohhhhh….I get it now. Funny stuff! In case anyone is reading this and has me for Secret Santa…see above.

Swing ’til you’re happy!

Filed Under: Reviews Tagged With: christmas, holidays, Potty Putter, secret santa

It’s Christmas in July For Golfers

July 18, 2011 | By Chris Chirico | 2 Comments

Two holiday season ago, I awoke to find that some items on my Christmas wish list were not under my tree. There was no $20,000 golf cart in my living room, nor were the $5,000 golf shoes I was looking to slip on. But that was my own fault. I waited way too long to get my Christmas list to my wife.

But fret not golfers. This year, I’m going to help you get your Christmas list started early. This way, you’ll have plenty of time to get your wish list to the people who matter and, hopefully anyway, you won’t feel the same disappointment I did. Let’s get started!

Right off the bat, we’ll start at the top of the list – the golf cart. A year-and-a-half ago, my list included a $20,000 Hummer (to which the Tiger Woods jokes were flying). But that’s old news now. The new chariot of the golfing kings looks something like this:

garia_lsv_lead
That would be the Garia LSV. With its hand-stitched seats, digital instruments, stereo and refrigerator, the driver would want for nothing. But that’s not all. The Garia, available in over 100 different colors, is also street-legal! Not that you would want to take its 25 MPH top speed onto your busy city streets, but for a mere $62,000…you can!

But with the extra money sunken into the cart, you’ll probably have to suffer cutbacks somewhere else. Since you’ll be riding, it makes most sense that it’s the shoes that get cut back. So, we’re going to skip the $5,000 John Lobb’s in lieu of these:

These are the Royal Albatross golf shoes, retailing for the bargain basement price of only $750. OK, so they’re not custom fit like the Lobb’s, but they do have a leather sole, fast-twist cleats and they’re waterproof. Plus, they come with two shoe bags and a ball marker. You know, I was a little iffy on the $750, but since they’re throwing in the ball marker…

But let me show you this one. Now, it’s the not the most expensive piece of golf equipment you’ll ever see. But it certainly may be the most unique. Brought to you by William Henry Studios, a company more well-known for making heirloom quality knives which take over seven months to produce (as well as some beautiful writing instruments), is the D-3 Fairway; a divot tool of unimaginable beauty.

What is it that makes these divot tools so unique? Well, to start the handles are made from either hand-forged Damascus steel or mokume gane. The inlays can be made from either wood, coral, mother of pearl or…get this…fossil mammoth tooth! Included with this piece as well is a stainless-steel ball marker that can be personalized. But quite possibly the coolest feature about this tool (outside of the mammoth tooth inlay) is that it is spring-loaded. This means it works like a switch-blade knife. A little bit of old-school street thug is brought to the golf course! And for a mere $1,200, you too can feel like the Dutch Schultz of your local club.

So if you don’t want to be let down on Christmas morning this year, take this list and pass it along to your significant other. Let them know that they still have just over five months to figure out the best way to say “Happy Holidays” using the list above. Need some more choices? Don’t be afraid to revert to the original. Of course, don’t be afraid to sneak your own items onto the list. There is still, after all, the $53,000 set of Honma golf clubs…

Swing ’til you’re happy!

Filed Under: Golf Life Tagged With: christmas, Christmas in july, custom golf cart, Garia, Honma Golf, John Lobb, Royal Albatross, William Henry Studios

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