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Stinky Golfer Paradise

The articles in this category are the epitome of the GolfStinks ethos. Here's where you'll learn how to take the frustration out of your golf game!

Golf Questions Answered…IV

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golfquestions4Hacks, we are back for our fourth installment (see also part 1, part 2 & part 3). You’ve been asking the tough questions and we’ve been supplying nothing but straight forward no B.S. answers…Golf Stinks style! I’m excited to get cracking on this next batch…let’s go!

Q: Why do I keep picking my head up during my swing?

A: Brosephine, you wanna see where that ball is going, no?

Q: As a beginner, what inexpensive ball do you recommend?

A: Well, I have a couple solutions:

  1. Range balls! Buy a bucket of 100 for $10-12 and pocket a bunch. When you get caught we do not accept responsibility. If we told you to jump off a bridge, would you?
  2. The ol’ give and take. You fire your tee shot into the woods and chances are 95% of the golfers before you did too. A little stroll into the woods could unveil a cache of those little buggers and they are all yours!

Q: My strength is in my short game but my long irons need help. What can I do to improve?

A: Listen here you snotty little punk braggart. My long, short and everything in between game needs help…tee off with a 9-iron wiseguy.

Q: I love my Pinseeker Lase Rangefinder but find I’m using it too much. Is technology hurting golf?

A: Wow, great question! Technology has its upside in moderation. Try this, the next time you use the rangefinder find out how far away the cart girl or MoFoBeTe is. If you get that stalkerish/peepin’ tom feeling then imagine how the pin feels, scumbag.

Q: My wife gets annoyed every time I golf and says it’s ruining our relationship because I play so much. What do I do?

A: Sometimes you need to hang it up. There are more important things in life…I’m sure she’ll get over it.

And another successful round of Q & A’s from your reliable pals at Golfstinks.com!

Hit’em long…yell FORE!!!

Can Your Attire Make Golf More Relaxing?

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It’s no secret that you play a better game of golf when you’re relaxed.  When you’re stressed or pressured, you tense up and don’t play well.  But more importantly, when you’re stressed or pressured on the course, you’re not having fun.  And quite simply, if you’re not having fun, then you’re missing out on the best part of being out on the course. Well, this past week, I had the pleasure of playing one of the most relaxed rounds I ever had the pleasure of playing. It probably helped that all of the cards seemed to be turning up in my favor.

For starters, I left work early to go play golf.  Most times when I leave work early, it’s for a legit reason – doctor appointment, pickup a kid from school, go to a school conference or concert, etc…  But this time, I was leaving work to go play golf.  Who’s better than me?

Second, I’m playing with someone who looks at the game the same way as I – we’re out there to have fun.  We’ll both try to do well, but first and foremost, it’s a Thursday afternoon and we’re on the golf course instead of at work.  The stress and pressure are left behind with our co-workers.  We don’t have a care in the world, and that leaves nothing but calm and relaxation – the way the game should be played.

Third, and this is the first time I can say I ever did this – I’m wearing jeans.  That’s right.  I was wearing jeans and a polo to work that day, so that’s what I wore to the course as well.   It’s funny, but I didn’t realize how much the way you dress on the golf course can affect your mindset.  When I took the course wearing a pair of jeans, any thought I had of putting any extra pressure to do well on myself was out the window.  All stress was left entirely behind.

What it all boiled down to was, I shot better than average, had a good, relaxing time, played at a nice, leisurely pace and enjoyed myself for a nice round.  Now don’t get me wrong, I’m most certainly not going to get into the habit of playing golf in a pair of jeans.  But I’m just sayin’…

Swing ’til you’re happy!

Golf, Hacks and Apps.

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green gridThis past weekend the guys at Golfstinks.com headed out for a quick round. It was nice to have everyone together doing what we love. Although it wasn’t so nice for the course to have four hacks making a chopped salad out of the rough and fairway…and green…sorry about that. Nonetheless, the day couldn’t have been better weather-wise.

Amidst the salad making, a joke was made about misreading the greens and how I should have used my “green reading app”. That got me thinking. What if there was an actual app that did that. I’m sure some designer out there can engineer a way using the camera and gyroscope, which every smartphone has, to survey the green somehow and show where the breaks are.

Would that even be legal? I’m guessing no. This could seriously lower scores and handicaps. Not to mention change the odds for golf betting matchups. Not for nothing, companies make a living on illegal golf aids. If that’s the case they should come out with it and let the brass ban it from competitive play.

Could you imagine Phil or Tiger setting up their smartphone on a little Nike or Callaway tripod? The day that happens is the day I stop watching golf all together. Leave the gimmicks and gadgets to the suckers…I mean consumers. Oh well, off to the practice green. Now, where’s that darn smartphone…?

Hit’em long…yell FORE!!!

Reverse Golf Psychology

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Esprit et golfDon’t you just hate when some jackass in your foursome tells you to keep your head down and aim for the target? What ivy league school did this Mensa member attend to formulate that statement? Keep your head down and aim. That reminds me of the movie Raising Arizona, the “Everybody freeze! Everybody down on the ground” scene. If you never saw it, watch it.

First of all, keeping your head down does not work, period. If your swing sucks, it doesn’t matter if your head is even attached. There is a lot more involved here, obviously. You would think we would have learned this through trial and error. Not for nothing, picking your head up during a swing is not that easy to do…I’ve tried.

I’m pretty sure mental preparedness is key. Now, I have to block out the jackass and take the shot. Here’s where I reverse psychologize myself (it’s probably not a real verb but I’m going with it anyway). When I aim for the pin, I hit everywhere else. So, I aim everywhere else. You see what I’m saying? Maybe I can trick myself into hitting a good shot.

The reality is I don’t play enough, as most golfers, and to make up for the lack of practice I need every advantage possible. Even if it’s as dumb as trying to fool myself. Whatever works, right?

Hit’em long…yell FORE!!!

Made In The U.S.A.

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made-in-usa-metal-11092702It’s good to see that manufacturing is coming back to the U.S. I saw a segment on World News last night called “Made In America”. They featured, get this, the new Motorola cell phone being manufactured right here in the good ol’ United States. Texas, to be exact. Who would have thought we would ever see the day an electronic device such as a cell phone would be made here and not in China?

This got me wondering about golf equipment. Now, I know there are companies that make clubs and stuff here but would it help sales if they used that in their marketing? I’ll tell you what, Nike, Taylormade, Callaway or whoever can tell me their clubs hit farther and straighter than the rest but we all know the deal with that. Sell me on something else.

If my decision came down to two sets of clubs and I knew one them was made here…I’m buying the U.S. made set. Now, not being hypocritical, I use Mizuno irons because they were pretty much given to me and no it wasn’t by Mizuno…we’re not that big yet. But if I had to purchase them, I would support our companies here.

The U.S. has a long tradition with iron and steel. Starting with Carnegie up to today. We named a music genre after it, actually a few if you count all the types of “metals” i.e heavy, speed etc. One of the NFL’s most celebrated teams is named after steel. Considering all the metal involved in a golf club, it only makes sense to be made here. Just my $0.02…

Hit’em long…yell FORE!!!

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