Literally, golf is dominated by averages. Besides the whole thing of handicapping and averaging your scores or figuring out your GIR or how many putts per round so on and so forth. Averages rule this roost…average golfers that is.
Power in numbers my friends and the best thing about that is every golfer is involved in the process of figuring out the “average” golfer. From scratch golfers to scratched-out-scorecard golfers, we are all tossed into the big ol’ number cruncher and voila – the average golfer is born.
I like to look at other numbers to average that are more realistic and mean more to my game. So here are a few of my criteria that help me determine where I stand.
- How many balls did I lose?
- How many Mulligans did I take?
- How many clubs are broken or need repair?
- How many obscenities did I use?
- How many times did I yell “Fore!!!”?
You get the point. In this game of averages why not use some thing that makes sense. As an average golfer, if I went home after a round and told the warden or one of my buddies “Hey, today I averaged 2.4839409 putts per hole.” They could care less but if I told them that I only took 3 mulligans and only used the “F” word 7 times – they could relate!
How beautiful such an average word like “average” could be. Not to get all Sigmund Freud on this but, really good golfers (not all of them) must be pissed that they work so hard to be a scratch golfer and to have that score thrown in with likes of us regular golfers to determine the average. You know there is a permanent hair across their ass when they are behind a foursome of hacks. They sit there and bitch and moan about the group in front. Hey you pompous scratch golfers, maybe if you shot better the average golfers score would be higher… 🙂
Hit’em long…yell FORE!
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