GolfStinks

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Chip Shots: Veni, Vidi…Golfi.

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This picture got me thinking. The Romans are credited with a lot of innovation and what-not and I know golf’s history goes back to Scotland. What I’m trying to find out is if anybody before this ever played a game where they hit little round rocks with a stick? I wonder if golf’s history truly does start in Scotland. Not taking away from the Scots’ contribution, I love golf, but just curious to see how far back it actually goes and where any influences have might come from.

Anyway, just wondering. Especially considering the Romans were indeed in Scotland at one point (71-213 AD)!  

Golf’s Troubled Past

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Who knew that golf was once a banned sport? Apparently, back in the day the Scottish brass thought it conflicted with archery lessons and didn’t allow anyone to play on Sundays due to military training.

Well, I guess driving balls at the invading English is not quite as effective as arrows. Although some of the courses I’ve been on definitely required a helmet and flak jacket…see: Mortar Range.

A quick look back at golf’s history shows that in 1457, James II of Scotland banned golf for the reason mentioned above. His son James III continued the ban in 1470, as does his son James IV in 1491. It wasn’t until 1502 when England and Scotland ended their beef (did they ever really?) that the ban was lifted.

Now, what’s really interesting is that a few years before the ban was lifted something else was going on in Scotland – whisky. That’s right…whisky. Actually, in 1494 there is the first written record of it. Through my deductive reasoning I found that; golfers that are banned from golf are not happy. Whisky makes them happy. Therefore golfers banned from golf invent and drink whisky to be happy.

Who knows though, chances are those zany Scots could have been bogarting grandpa’s ol’ cough medicine recipe for years and it wasn’t until some pissed off golfer (probably drunk) decided to let the world in on their little secret. And I thought this noble game had a proper up-bringing.

Hit’em long…yell FORE!!!

Golf…Can’t Live With It, Can’t Live Without It.

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Why is this game so complicated? In order to answer that question we need to take a look back at its roots. We need to understand the foundation it was raised on.

So, when you combine something like single-malt scotches, bagpipes and skirts…excuse me…kilts, there’s your answer…just kidding! But I have an inkling that the scotch was fundamental in creating golf.

The complexity of this game always amazes me. You can run yourself ragged one day on the course and the next day it’s a walk in the park. I guess all those sayings golfers have are true. Here’s a few of my favorites:

  • The reason the pro tells you to keep your head down is so you can’t see him laughing.
  • I’m not saying my golf game went bad, but if I grew tomatoes, they’d come up sliced.
  • Golf is a game in which you yell “fore,” shoot six, and write down five.
  • Have you ever noticed what golf spells backwards?
  • You can make a lot of money in this game. Just ask my ex-wives. Both of them are so rich that neither of their husbands work.

    • Golf can drive me nuts and bring me joy at the same time and I guess it’s this love-hate relationship that keeps me coming back.

    Hit’em long…yell FORE!!! When’s this snow gonna melt…?

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