GolfStinks

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A Tricky Time Of Year…

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driver xmas ornamentNow that we are in the middle of the holiday season, we can be easily distracted by all the egg nog, fruit cakes and all around joyfulness this season brings. Not me. My guard is up. Seeing that my significant other does not golf and has no knowledge of golf, golf equipment or golf prices, I am very careful when I answer the question “What do I want for Christmas?”.

Fellow hacks, be careful and proceed with caution. Now, I’m not saying she’s cheap, not at all. But if I told her I want a new driver, she would see a $400 plus price tag and think I’m crazy. Not only that, her attention would then shift to the clubs in my bag and assume those were a hundred or so each. Man it’s getting deep…

Without hesitation, she says “Oh sure, you can spend thousands (a little exaggeration out of anger) on dirty golf clubs but heaven forbid I need (notice she said need, not want) a pair of shoes…” I can assure you my clubs were not in the thousands. Next thing I know, my mother-in-law is involved in this whole ordeal and I’m getting bombarded from both sides. Hey, what’s with the bucket of water and towel…?

Ok, so they wouldn’t actually water board me but you see what I’m saying? We can avoid all of this unnecessary hoopla by not asking for any golf equipment for Christmas. Unless your significant other is rich or golfs, which in that case I say “Good for you, you lucky little devil you!” So, please keep this season joyous and avoid any holiday water boarding.

Hit’em long…yell FORE!!!

Golf Parlance Requires Maturity.

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woman golfAnd boy does it. When it comes to discussing golf, in particular the equipment used to play, you can’t help but let your inner Beavis & Butthead come out a little. No matter how old or how mature I might think I am, I regress back to a high school freshman. I don’t regret it one bit, you got to let loose once in a while.

So, I was at a national golf retailer perusing the over priced clubs and made my way back to the practice mats. There was this lady speaking with the “pro” on staff about custom fitted clubs. My timing couldn’t have been better. The words that came out of this women’s mouth…priceless. Ready…? She said “I need a stiffer shaft”.

Come on! You kidding me?!?! I give the “pro” credit for maintaining professional the whole time. He tries explaining how the flex is related to clubhead speed but she insisted she needed a stiff one. Well, it was quite entertaining for us eavesdroppers and I am glad that wasn’t me she was speaking to. That could lead to heaps of trouble if you’re not careful.

I’m surprised something like this hasn’t turned up in a movie somewhere. It’s straight up undeniable comedy gold. You could tee off on it and have a field day…pun intended. You gotta love this game.

Hit’em long…yell FORE!!!

Golf Club Grips, Gloves & Gripes.

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worn golf gloveAfter years of playing with a glove I decided to stop using one and play au naturel. The decision was made mostly because my glove had ripped to the point of uselessness. I do have a “wet weather” glove but that tends to work better in dry conditions and it doesn’t fit properly. Oddly enough, it’s the right length but whomever’s hand they used as a pattern had the narrowest palm in the world. I actually got a cramp from it.

Now that I’m glove-less I noticed my grips suck. These rubbery sleeves are quite important and are often taken for granted. In essence they are what connect you to the club. Recently at a family friend’s house, who I like to refer to as a band-aid golfer, I saw a set of clubs with new grips. If you’re wondering why I call him a band-aid golfer, it’s because he always try to compensate and patch up his slice with all these little weird stances and adjustments instead of fixing the problem properly.

You know, he faces the rough along the left side in hopes his ball will land on the fairway or rough on the right side. On top of that, he likes to offer swing advice. Yep…that guy. Anyway, his new grips were tremendous and what a difference they make. I wish I never said so because he went on for an hour and a half about them.

New grips might not necessarily help lower my score but I felt more confident swinging his clubs. I can’t wait to get re-gripped! Spring 2014 better watch out because my new grips and I will be out in full force hacking away…confidently. The confident hacker if you will.

Hit’em long…yell FORE!!!

My Dog Ate My Clubs.

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IMG_20130910_100807_898As a matter of fact, she ate my new clubs that I don’t even have, kind of. Now, I’ve had my current set for a number of years. They have served me well and far exceeded any expectations. This year I figured I would start looking into some new clubs and maybe trade in the old set.

One thing I did notice was a sentimental attachment to my current set. It was rather odd, I mean they are non-living inanimate objects but for some reason I struggled with the thought of trading them in. Finally, I was able to make myself understand that these clubs have performed well for me and now it’s time to let somebody else enjoy them. I shouldn’t be selfish.

Our golf season is wrapping up and with that start all the sales and discounting of the previous years equipment plus some great trade-ins too. My plan was all set and I had it figured out. In a couple months when golf is a foreign word in these parts, I would strike and snatch up a bargain.

So, how did my dog eat my new clubs, kind of? Well, enter Brownie. A female shepherd mix rescue of the Drainus Walletus species. You see, for some reason Brownie enjoys mixing gravel with her meals. She somehow sniffed out two 3/4″ gravel rocks and decided to eat them. This resulted in a trip to the vet which resulted in removing these rocks from her GI tract via surgery.

You can probably see where this is going. The money I put aside for some new clubs will now go towards my vet’s new clubs. Actually, two sets probably. In essence my dog ate my clubs…kind of. Oh well, I still have my clubs.

Hit’em long…yell FORE!!

Made In The U.S.A.

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made-in-usa-metal-11092702It’s good to see that manufacturing is coming back to the U.S. I saw a segment on World News last night called “Made In America”. They featured, get this, the new Motorola cell phone being manufactured right here in the good ol’ United States. Texas, to be exact. Who would have thought we would ever see the day an electronic device such as a cell phone would be made here and not in China?

This got me wondering about golf equipment. Now, I know there are companies that make clubs and stuff here but would it help sales if they used that in their marketing? I’ll tell you what, Nike, Taylormade, Callaway or whoever can tell me their clubs hit farther and straighter than the rest but we all know the deal with that. Sell me on something else.

If my decision came down to two sets of clubs and I knew one them was made here…I’m buying the U.S. made set. Now, not being hypocritical, I use Mizuno irons because they were pretty much given to me and no it wasn’t by Mizuno…we’re not that big yet. But if I had to purchase them, I would support our companies here.

The U.S. has a long tradition with iron and steel. Starting with Carnegie up to today. We named a music genre after it, actually a few if you count all the types of “metals” i.e heavy, speed etc. One of the NFL’s most celebrated teams is named after steel. Considering all the metal involved in a golf club, it only makes sense to be made here. Just my $0.02…

Hit’em long…yell FORE!!!

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