Wait. Monday. Tuesday. Wednes…oh, I get it! A real knee slapper. Isn’t that cute? Don’t you just love all of those quips and what-not slapped across cheaply fabricated crap made in some country that thinks child labor laws have to do with giving birth?

The funny thing is the only place I ever see this stuff is on business schwag giveaways or “strategically” displayed at that older person’s house. And by “strategically” I mean you can’t miss it. You know, so anyone that enters will know he or she is an avid golfer because their dwelling is peppered with this crap. Not to mention the retired golf equipment that have become accent pieces in the living room.

Obviously, the stuff is there for one reason. So we can ask “You golf a lot?” And their standard reply “Yeah, a little bit. You?” Now, this is a critical point in the conversation because if we say yes, they will automatically think we have played every course in the state and begin to tell topographically detailed tales from the golf course. For example;

“You should have seen it! This past Saturday I played at Shankwood Country Club. I was on the 6th hole, you know the one that borders the highway and the cemetery, and my tee shot lands just off the fairway 4 feet behind that oak tree on the right at the bottom of the hill next to the 100 yard marker…”

You get the point. Maybe we should have said “no”?

Back to the cheesy golf stuff. It seems the people behind the tchotchke golf market are not so much fans of golf as they are fans of the almighty dollar. Hey, I’m not hating on anyone for seeing a niche and going after it. My beef is if you are using golf solely as an opportunity to make money without helping promote the game. We all know it’s a multi billion dollar industry but it’s been in a bit of a volatile state of late. We don’t need pillows (ala the image at the top of this post), we need good promotion.

I get the whole reasoning behind these types of products and I also know that if real golf companies made this stuff, the prices would quadruple. Now, this is just a thought, but if you want to make promotional or giveaway products like a divot tool, please make it usable. You know, where the forks actually have somewhat of a point and the ball marker (if they’re gracious enough to put one on there) won’t redirect your putt two feet to the side. Just saying…

Hit’em long…yell FORE!!!