Prepping for My Golf Season (Not that it will Matter)

A brand new year. Yep, this is the time during the winter when I begin thinking about my upcoming golf season. Up here in New England, it starts to get pretty cold in November. By Thanksgiving there could be snow on the ground and by the holidays, you’ve already forgotten what the trees look like when they have leaves and what it feels like to step outside without a coat and scarf.

Come January 2nd though, I’m ready for the winter to end. As far as I’m concerned, two months of frozen weather should be good enough. I just ate my ass off, drank too much beer and champaign and used up all my vacation time. If I’ve gotta go back to work on January 3rd, the ground better be thawing out and the crocuses better be coming up.

Inevitably, the realization that we have 3 more months of this shit hits me while I’m scraping frost off my windshield at 7 AM Monday morning. But instead of slumping into a wintery depression, I begin thinking about what I need to do to get prepared for the upcoming golf season.

Keep in mind that very little of this involves me actually practicing. No sir. Every year around this time, I will finally remove my clubs from the trunk and bring them inside to warm up. Stupid, isn’t it? It’s like I’ve felt bad for them the past two months…out there freezing their grips off.

I’ll bring them inside and clean them. I’ll rummage through my golf bag, remove all the scuffed-up balls and throw away greens fee receipts. I’ll check to see if I’m running low on tees and find a couple scorecards I wish remained unfound. When I’m finished, I’ll set my bag down next to the table in the dining room and let it stay there.

My wife will eventually ask why my golf clubs are in the dining room and I’ll tell her I’m stowing them in the attic for the rest of the winter. A few days will go by. She’ll ask again…”Yeah, sorry. I’m getting around to it.” A few more days pass. I’m looking at them right now as I type this at my dining room table. My new Burner driver is beckoning me to take it outside and smash one into the woods across the street.

Around the beginning of February, I’ll finally put them in the attic. And right after I do, I’ll head back out to my trunk and grab my two pairs of golf shoes. You see I’ve just returned from the golf store with brand new soft spikes (I had to bring one of the old spikes with me to make sure I bought the right ones). The ensuing two hours will be spent hurting my fingers with that stupid metal tool while trying to loosen the old spikes. Nevertheless, it puts me in a golfing mood.

Finally, around the end of February, I make my annual off-season golf purchase. Last year it was new grips and this year I need a new pair of golf shoes. Next year is the biggie and I hope I follow through on it – new clubs!

Sure, I may hit the indoor range once or twice between January and April, but it’s all the little things that really get me chomping at the bit to play again. And though none of this will ever be reflected on my scorecard, it’s nice to have something to look forward to after you realize the long, cold, winter has really just begun.

Happy January, February and March everyone!