Sloppy Motherf***in’ Golfers!

I might not be the most organized or the neatest but I try my best to keep my surroundings in order wherever I am. It’s vital to an overall cleanliness for us and the environment. I’m not trying to push any of my views on you, all I’m saying is sloppy golfers piss me off.

If you are somewhat of an obsessive-compulsive and live or work with someone that is not – you will go crazy. Same goes on the course. Why do some people feel the rules put in place by the course do not necessarily apply to them. For instance, that sod bucket on the tee box is not an ashtray.

I realized this sloppiness can actually start before we even get to the course. My buddy (sloppy golfer) decided that he will drive and insisted on picking us up. Fine. When he arrived and we went to put our bags in his trunk, what do you know – trash, debris and dirty laundry filled to the brim. WTF! Dude, clean your car. I’m not putting my bag on top of your dirty drawers and an old Wendy’s bag.

So, I volunteer to sit in the back seat…with my bag. Luckily, the trip was short but the whole time I was in the car my skin was crawling. We arrive, get our stuff together and head to the first tee. Sloppy golfer breaks out a new glove and flings the plastic sleeve it was in landing just short of the garbage can. His reply “Eh, close enough.” I can see the way this day will be going.

The combination of him not replacing his rather large divots, littering, crap falling out of his bag and slamming his putter on the green really tested my patience that day. The beers I had at the 19th hole were so well received after experiencing that. I hope it never happens again…the sloppiness not the beer. Beer is good.

Hit’em long…yell FORE!!!


  1. I definitely just laughed out loud after reading this post. Not only do I know EXACTLY where you are coming from I am that OCD chick who will straighten anything near me. Thank you for posting this out there so I am thinking I am the only one with this problem!

  2. @alyssa trickle – Thanks for the comment! We are not alone. There are plenty of OCD golfers out there. Here’s a good indicator; Ask them if they can tell you what’s in their golf bag pockets without looking.

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