Stinky Golfer’s Wives; We Do Exist

What’s it like being the wife of a stinky golfer? Interesting…to say the least. I am sure by now many of you know who I am. My name is Jenn, but I may be better known as “Mrs. Stinky Golfer Chris.” That’s us to the left – an actual wedding photo. Am I a cool wife or what?

Just to clarify any previous statements made by my husband, it’s not that I don’t like golf, I just have no interest in it…at all. When Chris comes home from golf, I ask him what he shot. He’ll say, “Horrible, I shot 103!” I’ll say something to the effect of “Aw, that sucks.” But really, I have NO idea what that means. Not even a little.

Now, I know what some of you are thinking. “Wow, she shows interest even though she could care less.” Here’s why I really do it. Because if I act like I understand what he is saying, he won’t try to explain it to me. It’s not that I don’t want to know, but with Chris it will turn into physics, logistics and every other type of -ics, and I’ll just end up even more confused. You see, he is the guy who knows who was King in some far off never-never land that existed for like three hours and only seven people have ever heard of. I’ve learned the hard way, when he can answer 85% of the questions on Jeopardy, you tend to not ask for explanations.

In previous posts, Chris has let you all in on my career of sorts. Yes, he is correct, he gets awesome perks from me working overtime. When he wants new clubs, or wants to play a course, I make a call and *poof* I am the best wife EVER! But see, this is all part of my plan. I am sure many of you have seen the post regarding my purses. Well, you see, if I call and make a tee time for him, I can head off to the outlets, maybe buy a purse, spend all day with my girlfriends and be back home before he ever knows the difference.

If he shoots bad, he’ll come home annoyed and throw himself on the couch to play some Call of Duty. I guess blowing up 13 year old internet junkies makes it better. If he shoots good, he comes home happy, smiles and says “Let’s go out to eat!” I ask the all important question; “How’d you shoot?” He says “98!” I say “Awesome!” I’ll throw in a quick “Look what I got at the outlet …” He says “Great! Let’s eat!” Now, that to me is a win-win.

In all honesty, I love that my husband golfs. He gets out there with his friends, has a good time, makes some jokes and comes home with some sort of satisfaction. I’ll never be that wife that calls when he is about to tee off, asking when he will be home. I would not want him to call and nag me when I am out on my shopping spree!

Being the wife of a Stinky Golfer is awesome. I hear great stories, laugh all the time and never hear my husband complain about something he loves!

So, I would like to say, thank you Honey for liking something that makes you happy most of the time. I cannot wait until you come home from using your new fitted clubs (you’re welcome) and tell me you shot an 80! I think that day I could probably get a new car out of him…, or at least new shoes!

– Jennifer Chirico