So a buddy of mine just got engaged this past weekend.  After offering up my congratulations, I proceeded to fill him in on the support group for men who have fallen victim to the engagement/marriage syndrome.  I let him know that we meet whenever necessary at local bars and golf courses.  He doesn’t realize it right now, but he’ll be joining us there soon.

It was only a joke, but it made me think about the reasons some of us are out on the links to begin with.  Get away from the wife and kids for a few hours.  Love of the game.  An escape from a routine.  The competition.  The challenge.  All of the above maybe?  For me, it’s a little bit of all of these.  But at the same time, it’s none of them.

Some people just don’t get why I golf.  I’m not talking about the people who are non-golfers and for one reason or another dislike the game.  I’m talking about other golfers.  Now I don’t mean a guy who watched me play a round and then said to me “Dude, why are you even out here?  You stink at this game.”  He’s right, I do stink at golf.  But I’m talking about the guys who don’t understand that I’m only out on the course to hang out with my friends and do something we all enjoy.  The actual game is secondary to me.

The comment I made earlier regarding the meetings at bars and golf courses is what made me think of this.  But to me, playing golf with my friends, and heading to the bar with my friends, are pretty much interchangeable.  And I truly believe this mentality is what keeps me enjoying the sport (just as much as enjoying the bar).  I’ll explain.

Golf, to me, is a social activity.  It’s not a competition to me.  It’s not something at which I need to excel.  It’s not something at which I expect to become great, nor do I really care if I do.  It’s something I do with my friends as “hang-out time.”  It’s about the equivalent of going to a ball game together, to the bar, the casino, dinner or whatever.  It’s just good quality time with people whom I don’t always get to spend enough.  But that’s where I want to draw the line on golf.  Any more, and golf would no longer be all about fun and socialization.

The day I actually go out and pay for a lesson will be the day that I have begun to take golf too seriously.  And that, friends, is where other golfers don’t understand why I play.  It is completely lost on them that I’m not concerned with getting better.  But the attitude of other golfers is what gets lost on me!  Why so many people have the urge to spend money with a pro to get better at a sport at which they will never actually compete is way over my head.  They ask me “Don’t you want to get better?”  But when I respond with “Don’t you ever want to play simply for fun?” they look at me like I have three heads!  Like the whole concept of playing for fun is completely foreign to them!  Like it’s never even crossed their mind.

I’ve said it several times before, but I’ll never get it.  I didn’t hire a hitting coach when I played softball. I didn’t bring in a shooting instructor when I played basketball.  I don’t look to the The Mad Fisherman when I’m having a slow day at the lake.  So why would I pay a golf pro to help me with my swing?  I do all of these things for the same reason – fun.  Not to try and become a pro.  Why should golf be any different?

Now I’m not at all knocking people who take lessons.  I understand that many people want to be better golfers.  I understand that most people take the game much more seriously than I do.  If that’s what you want to do, then by all means, do it!  Take multiple lessons.  Get better.  Become a great golfer!  But what I am knocking is the people who have this over-bearing opinion that I NEED to take a lesson.  Or that golfers who are new to the game MUST seek out a pro.  It’s just foolish.  Further, I’m of the opinion that this mentality is something that keeps new, younger players from taking up the game to begin with.  People already see the game as expensive, uptight and boring.  Now, to add in that they have to pay a pro to help them?  I’m sorry, but that is the wrong way to introduce players to the game.

Think about someone introducing you to the game.  They say to you “Come on, we’re going to go play golf.  Let’s spend a bunch of money on your clubs, more on the accessories you need to play such as balls, tees and stuff like that.  Then we have to buy you some shoes.  Then we’ll go hire a pro to teach you how to swing.”  Are you freakin’ kidding me?!  If my friends introduced the game to me like that, I wouldn’t be playing today.  I would have said “Thanks, but no thanks” and gone right back to playing basketball and softball.  They play for fun, and that’s exactly how they introduced it to me.

Now keep in mind, I love playing golf.  Although I play for fun, I do try to play well while I’m out there.  I might as well, right?  I’m not a student of the game.  I don’t follow it professionally.  I’m not concerned with becoming a great player.  But don’t think just because you take lessons that you love the game any more than I do.  Maybe you do, maybe you don’t.  But your desire to get better doesn’t measure anything.  We just love the game for two different reasons.

All I’m saying is before you encourage people, especially players new to the game, to spend the money on lessons with pros, find out why they are out on the course playing golf to begin with.  You may think you’re being helpful.  But what you may see as helpful and necessary, they may see as a complete turn-off.  I almost never give advice to anyone about their game.  But if I was to do so, the only advice I would ever actually give is…

Swing ’til you’re happy!