Okay, so maybe I’ve been overdoing this whole ” I had surgery, poor me, and can’t golf” thing for the past few months. Hey, take it easy…it was heart surgery for Pete’s sake. In all reality, the violins have run their course. No more sad music for me. Yes, golf was out of the equation for the last few months but now…it’s game on.
Hurricane Irene, better yet Tropical Storm Irene, ruined my chances last weekend but this weekend the weather looks clear. It’s time to wreak havoc on the ol’ track. I can’t believe I’m actually going to get out there and play! Although, as silly as it may sound, I’m a little nervous about it. It’s like my first time, again.
The whole summer without golf had me thinking; what if golf never existed? What would fill that void? Ben Hogan, Arnold Palmer, Sammy Snead, Jack Nicklaus all the way to Greg Norman, Freddy Couples, Phil Mickelson, Tiger and Rory (and every other pro for that matter) would be ordinary people. Unless they excelled in other areas.
Our website would be www.____stinks.com. That would really stink! Perhaps the word “golf” would join the ranks of the other four letter words we hack’s abuse. “Get the golf outta here!” I don’t know…that just doesn’t seem to cut it. It doesn’t flow. “Ah golf, in the drink again!” Nope, definitely doesn’t work as an expletive.
What would 30 million golfers do? “Hey honey, me and the guys are going to take a 4 and a half hour walk…be back by noon.” Just think, golf tournaments would be a bunch of people wandering around outside in a field getting drunk…wait a minute…that is a golf tournament!
See you out there…
Hit’em long…yell FORE!!!
