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Stinky Golfer Paradise

The articles in this category are the epitome of the GolfStinks ethos. Here's where you'll learn how to take the frustration out of your golf game!

Only a Club-Breaking Cheater calls Golf a Sport!

January 4, 2012 | By Golf Stinks | 3 Comments

Throughout the year, we bloggers at Golfstinks like to poll our valued readers on all things golf. In 2010, we received some interesting poll results and this past year was no different.

We conducted several polls in 2011, and below we highlight the results of five of them. What have we learned? Well, that golfers are drinkers and club-breakers and cheaters, of course!

Let’s begin in October, when we asked how you cheat at golf. Mind you, we already knew you were a cheater…we just wanted to know how. Are you a rule-bender or a rule-breaker? Turns out 78% of the 37 respondents are rule-benders (golfers who will take the occasional Mulligan or gimmie putt, etc.). Just 8% of you were rule-breakers (golfers who will kick their ball to a better lie or conveniently forget to take a stroke when the situation warrants it). Which leaves 13% of you as liars – or those who claim to neither bend nor break the rules.

Back in February, we wanted to know if you’ve ever broken a club in anger. Well, the majority (62%) of you haven’t. But of the 48 golfers who took this poll, 29% said they’ve broken a club in anger once. Interestingly, 8% admit to being an “occasional” club-breaker. We wish we were a little more specific in this poll answer (e.g. what does “occasional” mean)? Either way, golfers beware: Club-breakers are out there, so don’t let them get their hands on your new Callaway!

In September, we asked the age-old question; Is golf a sport? We received some interesting comments both for and against it being a sport (many see it as just a “game”). But the poll results were not as split. Of the 51 respondents, 62% said yes, golf is indeed a sport; while 37% said no it wasn’t. There’s still time to vote is this poll – so feel free to add your 2 cents!

In another February poll, we wanted to know how often you visited the 19-hole after your round. Well, according this this poll (and its 59 respondents), it seems about a third of the golfers out there typically belly-up to the bar after nearly every round. What’s interesting is that another third typically skip the 19th-hole altogether and head home. And what about the final third? Well, for them it depends – about half the time they’ll head in for a drink or some food, while the other half of the time they’ll just hit the road. Ah the lonely life of a 19th-hole bar tender…

Our final 2011 poll is from June, when we wanted to know if golf daily deal sites were putting traditional golf merchants out of business. Well, 47% (out of the 69 respondents) answered in the negative, while just 26% said “yes” – golf daily deal sites were indeed killing traditional golf businesses. What made this poll interesting though was that 26% also said it was “too early to tell” if golf deal sites were bad for traditional establishments. Thus there seems to be some concern about these daily deal sites and their potential impact within the golf world – which may not bode too well for an already struggling industry.

So, all you club-breaking cheaters who call golf a sport – Keep an eye out for more interesting golf polls from Golfstinks in 2012!

Filed Under: Stinky Golfer Paradise Tagged With: Poll Results

2011 Top 10 GolfStinks Blog Posts

December 30, 2011 | By Golf Stinks | 4 Comments

So it’s the end of December and 2012 is right around the corner. But before we pop the bubbly and don our party hats tomorrow night, we here at the Golf Stinks blog would like to thank our readers for their continued support!

And to do that, we’re going to carry on with the tradition we started two years ago: It’s time to reveal our top ten posts of 2011 (based on page hits)!

Number 10

The Beginning of the End to my Golf Season – In September, Stinky Golfer Chris explains why the start of the NFL season pretty much marks the end of his (as well as many others’) golf season.

Number 9

Golf Course Bankrupt? Blame Tiger Woods – Way back in January, Stinky Golfer Greg pondered why more and more golf courses are going belly-up these days and is led to conclude it’s all Tiger’s fault!

Number 8

Analysis: What Makes a Golf Course Great – In March, we revealed the analysis results of our “What Makes A Golf Course Great” survey. The results may surprise you!

Number 7

Don’t Dress Like a Fool on the Golf Course – In this April guest post from Joe Sponcia over at Pillars of Golf, you will learn how not to dress for a round of golf!

Number 6

Why Golf is Aggravating – In this “reality bites” post, Stinky Golfer Pete comes to the frustrating conclusion that average hacks will always be average hacks.

Number 5

Variations on the Game of Golf – Project Flogton – In his continuing series on alternate versions of golf, Stinky Golfer Chris explores the cheating interesting format of Project Flogton.

Number 4

Does Golf Apparel and Equipment Fuel the “Rich Man’s Sport” Stereotype? – Stinky Golfer Chris tackles one of the biggest stereotypes in the game – that you have to be rich to play golf. He suggests that merchandise retailers (and their marketing efforts) aren’t helping.

Number 3

Why Do Non-Golfers Play in Golf Tournaments? – In this post from August, Stinky Golfer Chris ponders why people who rarely play golf, play in golf tournaments – could it be the food?

Number 2

5 Reasons Why They Hate Golf – In July, Stinky Golfer Greg provides his explanations as to why some people just don’t appreciate this game we know and love.

And receiving the most page views in 2011…

Number 1

10 Golf Etiquette Rules Most Jackasses Ignore – In this April post, Stinky Golfer Greg lists his biggest golfer pet peeves in a no-holds-barred rant about cell-phone use; playing from the wrong tee-box; and giving unwanted swing advice.

So there you have it; our top posts of 2011! Thanks again to all our readers – without average hacks like you, golf just wouldn’t be the same!

Best wishes for 2012!

-The Golfstinks Team

Filed Under: Stinky Golfer Paradise Tagged With: top posts

Golfing Thanks

November 23, 2011 | By Greg D'Andrea | 1 Comment

November 20, 2011 - Leaner, Hairier and Thankful.
November 20, 2011 – Leaner,
Hairier and Thankful.

I was eating dinner at a restaurant in Cancún, México one Thanksgiving (I know…of all the sacrilegious things an American can do) when a middle-aged English chap at the next table blurted-out in my direction; “I can tell by your accent that you’re American, right?”

When I responded in the affirmative, he proceeded to ask the following question: “What’s this whole Thanksgiving thing about anyway?” My tongue-in-cheek response was that we (Americans) were celebrating getting away from you (the British). On that note, we all had a quick chuckle, another sip of our Mojitos and then promptly got into an argument over turkey.

You see, he claimed that turkeys were native to England since (obviously and logically) “people have been eating turkey dinner on Christmas in England for hundreds of years.” I, on the other hand, explained that turkeys were from the Americas and were brought over to England in the early 16th-century. On that point, we agreed to disagree.

But being away for Thanksgiving that year got me thinking about what this holiday really means. Sure, we all are thankful for our health, our family and the ability to put food on the table – these are all obvious things to be thankful for. But I’m not sure it really hits home until your health, someone in your family or that steady job goes away.

This year I’ve had some (albeit minor) health issues, to which I’ve taken steps to correct. But those issues kept me off the links for good amount of time – enough time to realize that golf (for me anyway) is a little bit of therapy – It’s a reminder of all that’s good in this world and if you can get yourself back out on the course, the healing process is complete (I’m sure Stinky Golfer Pete, whose health issues this season were far more serious than mine, would agree).

This past weekend, my healing process finished – I played golf for the first time in months. I played with my father, who at 76, hadn’t hit the links in two years and wasn’t sure he’d even be able to finish our 9-hole round (he would have been content to quit when he got tired and follow me in the cart for the rest of the round). Well, I’m happy to report he not only finished all 9-holes, but played better than expected to boot. As for me, I walked all 9 sans any gout pain in my foot. And I too shot better than expected (not my best round ever, but it could have been far worse).

So, as I settle in tomorrow to eat, drink and watch the Packers crush the Lions (and hopefully my Dolphins sneak past the Cowboys); I’ll be thankful. Not just for my health or my family or even for golf. I’ll be thankful for all of it.

Happy Thanksgiving.

And to our readers in the UK: Turkeys are as American as Pumpkin Pie (yes, pumpkins are from here too…).

Filed Under: Health & Environment, Stinky Golfer Paradise Tagged With: cowboys, dolphins, england, giving thanks, gout, health, lions, packers, pumpkin, thanksgiving, turkey

Golf Questions Answered…Part Dos!

September 30, 2011 | By Pete Girotto | Leave a Comment

More Q & A that will undoubtably hurt your golf game...
More Q & A that will undoubtably hurt your golf game…

After receiving such positive feedback from my previous post “Golf Questions Answered…The Golfstinks.com Way.” It’s only right that I continue to help my fellow hacks with a follow-up and answer more of your questions. I’m so glad that my vast knowledge is coming in handy once again.

Let’s get it on!

Q: What degree wedge should I play with?
A: You should really avoid playing with wedges at any degree…mild, moderate or severe. They are intrusive, uncomfortable and can cause chafing. Thank you Caddyshack 2…

Q: What’s the best hybrid?
A: That’s kind of a subjective question. The best thing is to figure out how much you want to spend and then take one out for a test drive. I’m liking the effort to go green man.

Q: I just got into an argument with a buddy of mine over this: Is it illegal to pick up your ball, clean it and replace it while on the fairway?
A: Dude, hell yeah it’s illegal! Ummm, hello? I believe that’s called public indecency. Scrub the fellas in the privacy of your own home please.

Q: Would you recommend a Medicus?
A: No, I would recommend a doctor-us. Roman empire-era medical practices are a little barbaric. Stupidus questionus.

Q: How can I tell if my shaft is stiff enough?
A: Well, your shot distance and club head speed will dictate where you need to be. Your golf pro would be better suited to help with that. Or…ask your significant other ;).

That wraps up round 2. I hope you all found this to be a nice learning experience. Thanks again for the support and I’m looking forward to round 3!

Hit’em long…yell FORE!

Filed Under: Stinky Golfer Paradise Tagged With: caddyshack, hybrid, medicus, questions, shaft, wedges

Golf Questions Answered…The Golfstinks.com Way!

September 16, 2011 | By Pete Girotto | 1 Comment

Let us help you get worse at golf!
Let us help you get worse at golf!

Fellow golfers, it is only natural to have questions on game improvement. As they say “There is no such thing as a stupid question.” So, I have decided to offer my expertise on many questions plaguing us hacks. We, at golfstinks.com, are all for the average golfer and with that in mind…let’s begin.

Q: I’m traveling to (insert your destination), what courses are in the area?
A: Just head on over to golfstinks.com, sign up (it’s free!) and have access to one of the best golf course database in the nation. You can search by city, state, course name…you get the point.

Q: What can I do at the gym to better my golf game?
A: Gym?!?! Wtf is that? To better your golf game you need to play, a lot. Period. So don’t get down on yourself, just get out there and have fun!

Q: I’m looking for a new driver, any recommendations?
A: Absolutely! I recommend a professionally licensed and insured driver. This way you don’t have to worry about accidents and stuff.

Q: When I set up for a shot, what is the best way to prepare mentally?
A: My routine begins with a prayer and is followed by “DUCK MOTHERF#@$ERS!!!” or “Fore!” whichever comes first.

Q: What game improvement videos or books would you recommend?
A: Next question.

Q: How can I fix my slice?
A: If I could answer that we wouldn’t be called Golfstinks. Try leaving the driver home… 🙂

Well, I hope that helps. Stay tuned for more questions answered the Golfstinks way.

Hit’em long…yell FORE!!!

Filed Under: Stinky Golfer Paradise Tagged With: best driver, gadgets, gimmicks, gym, questions

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