GolfStinks

A Golf Blog for the Rest of Us!

The Golf Stinks Organic Dairy-Free Power Smoothie

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GolfPowerSmoothie
This protein- and fiber-packed smoothie will get you through the front 9 and then some…

So about eight months ago, I realized I needed a change for breakfast. I was sick of cereal and breakfast bars and eggs took too long to make during the work week.  I needed something I could whip-together fairly quickly, yet still have it be healthy at the same time. Perhaps most importantly, it needed to keep me satisfied (unlike a piece of fruit) until lunch (or about 4 hours).

I’ve always enjoyed smoothies, so I set out to create the perfect breakfast concoction. I initially used the following ingredients: Milk; Peanut Butter; Bananas; and Honey. After fiddling with the measurements of the recipe for a few weeks, I was able to perfect the consistency – not watery, but not too thick either – it was just right!

Having achieved what I thought (at the time) was the perfect smoothie, I began realizing I could probably make it better – using higher-quality, more nutritious ingredients (like going organic; removing the dairy; and adding greens)! That led to the breakfast drink you see pictured above. It is (as of this writing) quite simply the best breakfast I’ve ever made – and I look forward to it every morning!

Not only have I not grown tired of this smoothie (not even after months of drinking one on 5+ days a week), but it also satisfies me till lunch – in fact, I found I was able to push-on an extra hour or so after lunch to boot! As a result, this smoothie eventually replaced my bacon, egg and cheese pre-golf sandwich. I must say, not only does its color remind me of the course (yes, this smoothie is light green), but it keeps my hunger in check for all 18-holes!

So at this point, I figured why keep this little breakfast gem all to myself? It’s time to share it with the rest of you – that being said; I give you…

The GolfStinks Organic Dairy-Free Power Smoothie

  • 6 ice cubes (standard ice-tray size)
  • 1 cup of unsweetened organic almond milk
  • 1/2 cup of no salt added organic smooth peanut butter
  • 2 cups of fresh organic spinach. Place spinach loosely in a liquid measuring cup until it fills up to the 2-cup line (don’t worry, you won’t taste this ingredient – it’s added for its nutritional value and the cool golf-like color it provides)!
  • 2 organic bananas (about 6-8 inches in length each)
  • 1 to 2 tablespoons (depending on your sweet tooth) of organic raw blue agave nectar (agave nectar is low-glycemic and a great alternative to honey)

Rinse spinach thoroughly in cold water. Place all ingredients in a blender and blend using the “liquify” or “smoothie” setting for about 15 to 20 seconds (or until all ingredients are mixed completely).

golfpowersmoothieingredients

Pour and enjoy. Makes about 32 ounces. Feel free to alter the ingredients as you see fit and let me know your results in the comments!

Book Review: Bad Golf

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badgolfThere’s an ethos we live by here at GolfStinks: You don’t have to be good at golf to love it. And in the spirit of that ethos, we strive to write commentary that helps you accept the fact that even though you might stink, you can still get great enjoyment out of this game.

It’s in this spirit that author Dave Simon penned Bad Golf. After receiving my copy and initially thumbing through the pages, I thought I had the book figured out; Mr. Simon had written a comical take on how bad the vast majority of us are at this game. However, after reading a few chapters, I realized Bad Golf is so much more.

In reality, what Mr. Simon has done is create a golf self-help guide. But this guide doesn’t give you tips on how to play better – instead it provides you ways to enjoy the game in spite of your wretchedness on the links! His premise is simple: You’re bad at golf – most of us are. So, why not accept that fact, move on and start having fun despite your high handicap? Sounds like a book GolfStinks can stand behind!

Bad Golf is 34 (somewhat short) chapters of rollicking ideas to help you forget the quadruple bogie you took on the 7th or the sleeve of balls you lost on the 13th. Chapter titles include: “How to get better, briefly;” “450 yard par 4’s made easy;” and “I know what I did wrong (but can’t correct it).”

One of my favorite chapters (Fun topics when things are going worse than usual) encourages you to use comedy to get your mind off the terrible round you’re having. In one example, Mr. Simon suggests you have an exploding gag golf ball in your bag for this occasion. But don’t try to pull the gag on someone else – instead, he suggests you walk to the next tee and use it on yourself! Unbeknownst to your golfing pals, you step up to the tee and drive the ball into a cloud of powdery smoke – resulting in laughter from all (including you). The point is to get your mind off your round and it’s genius! I’m definitely giving that a try next time I find myself playing a particularly miserable round!

Bad Golf is more than just poking fun at yourself and your golf game – it’s an instructional guide to getting more enjoyment out of golf! While you might not lower your handicap reading this book, you’ll surely learn to not sweat the high scores as much. As Mr. Simon says: Live it. Love it. Learn it. Laugh at it.

You can download the e-book version of Bad Golf on Mr. Simon’s website here: justwrite15.com/bad-golf.html (scroll down a bit once the page loads).

Augusta National: The Good, Bad & Ugly

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"The
The Masters (by Torrey Wiley via Flickr | CC BY 2.0)

Augusta National Golf Club. The very name conjures up emotions deep within us. For some, those emotions might excite and inspire; while for others, they might sicken and disgust.

The Good
Augusta National is perhaps the epitome of golf courses. Despite not being in the birthplace of the game, the course is as symbolic as St. Andrews…perhaps more. We golfers daydream of walking its fairways; of turning Amen Corner; of being immersed in a golfer’s total paradise.

Of course, the club hosts The Masters every April – a tournament rich in history. Marking the start of the golf season for many, The Masters sends us images of Augusta in full spring bloom – lush green grass and floral (mainly magnolias and azaleas) bursting full of color. It’s no wonder there’s a huge marketing push surrounding the tournament – golfers of all levels yearn to go out and play after viewing just a few minutes of the action. Surely the golf industry as a whole benefits through the publicity of such an inspiringly beautiful course.

The Bad
Make no mistake, the course really is in pretty good shape. But Augusta groundskeepers are working with smoke and mirrors too. For example, the course spent half a million on an underground vacuum system that removes excess water. And according to a post here, Augusta National…

“…reportedly dyes ponds blue or black to hide algae bloom, spray paints grass to make it look more green in years when the newly planted ryegrass isn’t flourishing and even refrigerates, or warms, the azaleas so that they’ll be in perfect bloom for the second weekend in April. Rumors have it that this year [referring to 2012] Hollywood set designers have been brought in to Augusta to hide damage caused by the lawn chemical weed killer Imprelis that was found last year to kill trees as a side effect.”

Due to this addiction of perfect grooming (which apparently involves some degree of deception), we have something called the “Augusta Effect.” The notion that every course should strive to be as impeccably maintained as Augusta National – and anything less is less than perfect. This notion has led to other courses overseeding to keep greener longer; led to more pesticide use within the industry; and ultimately led to courses going belly-up – all in an effort to meet the expectations of average hacks everywhere, who have come to expect conditions like those they view on TV.

The Ugly
Unlike the cradle of golf in Scotland, Augusta is no Mecca – You will not find golfers on a pilgrimage to these links like they flock to St. Andrews. This is, of course, because we are not allowed to play there. Augusta National Golf Club, hallowed as it may be, also represents everything that is wrong with golf. It is the very root of negative golf stereotypes: closed-doored, sexist and filthy rich.

Sure, the club recently allowed its first female members, but that gesture made for good PR more than anything else. So the USGA and PGA Tour are faced with a conundrum: On the one hand, Augusta National helps stoke the golf economy every spring. But on the other hand, the club flies in the face of what the governing bodies of golf want to do – which is to grow the game beyond the average white male. They want to reach more women and minorities. They want to reach more inner-city youth. But should Augusta really be their poster child? That’s a tough sell.

For years I believed Augusta National Golf Club represented everything a golf course should be: Lush, beautiful and steeped in tradition – It really did make me want to go out and play. To be sure, seeing images of the course this week will inspire me once again. But over the years, I’ve come to realize the industry is using the Augusta legacy as a marketing tool – a facade, which exists mainly to excite the imagination.

Nowadays my inspiration doesn’t come from Augusta, but rather from the beginning of a new golf season – the excitement of getting out there and playing again after a long, cold winter and the thought of hanging out with good friends while enjoying the game we love. And, I guess, the possibility of finally hitting that elusive hole-in-one.

So my advice to you is to enjoy the tournament; the competition; the phenomenal golf. But take all the pomp and circumstance with a grain of salt. After all – most of us golf in the real world; not in fantasy land.

The Most Important Thing on your Golf Bag

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goose golf towel
Goose Golf Towel

Last year about this time, myself and my buddy Tom (who also happens to be a co-founder of GolfStinks) were playing the first round of the new season. We were walking up the second fairway after hitting our approach shots when Tom stopped, bent over and held his hand to his nose.

I’m not sure if it was the cold spring air, or the jolt from the swing of his 7-iron, but he had a nose bleed. As I came over to help by asking for his golf towel, his reply was more shocking to me than his face (which looked like we were playing hockey instead of golf): “I don’t have a golf towel.”

WTF?

Who doesn’t carry a golf towel? I mean seriously, it’s the most important accessory on your golf bag. I’ve taken my golf towel off to wash it and then forgot to put it back on before my next round and I felt naked out there – as if I forgot to wear my wedding band.

Not only does your golf towel clean off your clubs, but it also dries your hands; washes your ball; shields your neck from the sun; acts as a rain cover; and on some occasions, can be used to wipe a bloody nose. But with no towel of his own, I was forced to sacrifice my towel.

Although I replaced it the next round with another one I found (typical white cotton towel with the logo of some golf tourney I had played in years ago), I felt it was time to get a real golf towel. You know, one that does more than act like a rag – something specifically designed for a golfer.

One such towel is produced by Goose Golf. This isn’t just an ordinary towel – this Canadian company has created the perfect towel for out on the links. The three-layer cloth has anti-microbial cotton on the outside for great drying results. But on the inside, they’ve put a microfiber that can be moistened before your round to help clean off dirt and grit after a sand shot or taking a beaver pelt. Meanwhile, sewn between the anti-microbial cotton and microfiber is a water repellant mid-layer to help keep the wet inner layer from getting the dry outer layer damp.

So far I’m really digging this idea – you can clean your clubs really well inside the towel and dry them really well on the outside – plus if it’s raining, you can use the whole thing as a water-repellant rain hood!

But the folks over at Goose Golf didn’t stop there – they added a pouch (which is detachable) of the same materials specifically for cleaning your ball. And on that pouch is a magnetic ball marker to boot! But there’s one more feature – their unobtrusive logo, which is embroidered at the top/center of the towel, is made of velcro – so you can hang your golf glove when you head over to the putting green!

At only $20, I’m sold. But why should I be the only one with a new golf towel? And on that note, the good peeps at Goose Golf have sent me a few “extra” towels for y’all to enjoy too! Just head on over to our Facebook page and comment (not just “like”) the post on our wall entitled “The Most Important Thing on your Golf Bag.” That’s it – we’ll choose 4 random winners next week!

Now, I really hope Tom doesn’t get a bloody nose again this year…

Great Golf Courses are Meant to be Played…By Everyone

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golf stinks, golfstinksI was standing on the 1st tee at Kapalua Resort in Maui, thinking to myself; “Should I really be playing this course?”

Should I really be spending my hard-earned money on a golf course that’s going to kick my butt up and down each and every fairway? Where, when I finally get to the green, the putting surface is so difficult, nothing ever goes in – as if every hole is wearing a chastity belt?

Why on earth would I want to put myself through that torture? I have an 18 handicap – Am I out of my mind? Shouldn’t I be at a smaller, easier course instead of one where tour pros grace the fairways on a regular basis?

And for that one fleeting moment – in the time it took me to bend over and put my tee in the ground – I doubted a philosophy that I have held dear for nearly 20 years: That you don’t have to be good at golf to play a good golf course.

But it was only a moment. By the time I was addressing my ball, the thoughts in my mind had changed from the course demolishing me, to me demolishing it. I was literally going to rip that course apart – with beaver pelt-sized divots for the 100+ swings I was about to take – I was going to need both of the sand/seed mixture bottles on the cart. And most importantly, I was going to enjoy every minute of it.

So many average golfers allow themselves to be intimidated by a good golf course. If the high greens fees don’t deter them before even stepping foot on the course, the view from the first tee box surely might. You know how the story goes from there: They play a wretched round, blame the course, regret “throwing their money away,” and vow to never play a so-called upscale golf course again – all because they’re “not good enough golfers.”

What a bunch of B.S. Who says you have to be good at something in order to love it? If that were an actual law, 90% of golfers would have to quit the game because they stink. I’m sorry, but when was the last time you heard something like this: “You know, I’ve been playing golf for 40 years now and I still can’t shoot anywhere near par. I guess it’s time to quit.” The thing is, you don’t hear stuff like that because people don’t play golf because they are good at it – they play golf because they love it.

So if you love golf, you shouldn’t hesitate to play an awesome golf course if the opportunity presents itself – no matter how badly it’s probably going to beat you up. As long as you play from the correct tee box, you have nothing to fear – tee off and enjoy. And don’t worry about your score – playing a legendary course or even a local “upscale” course isn’t about playing well, it’s about experiencing the best the game has to offer – and by keeping that in perspective, you’ll never regret forking over the hefty the greens fees.

My round at Kapalua was simply amazing. Sure, I put one in the Pacific Ocean on the signature hole (OK, I put two in). But the course was gorgeous; the scenery unreal; and the weather beautiful. And the cherry on top? I broke 100 with a 96! Now that even surprised me! Great golf courses are meant to be enjoyed… by everyone. Golf is a game, and you should have fun playing it.

This post originally appeared on AmericanGolf.com‘s blog here: http://www.americangolf.com/blog/golf-courses/great-golf-courses-are-meant-to-be-played-by-everyone.

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