Why I Suck at Fantasy Golf

I’ve played fantasy football since 1998 and I’m not too bad at it. I usually make the playoffs and the year our prize money was at its largest, I won the entire league. Needless to say, my overall winnings outweigh my overall entrance fees.

So when a golf buddy asked me to join his fantasy golf league this year, I figured why not? Anyway, there were a few advantages to his league – First; there were only 5 people in it (better odds for me to win). Second; I knew two or three of the people had never played fantasy golf before (same boat as me). And third; it was free – so what did I have to lose?

Despite never playing fantasy golf before, I figured how hard can it be? You just pick the top-ranked players every week and hope the odds pan-out. Au contraire. Turns out fantasy golf is a whole lot harder than it looks.

First of all, you can’t just pick the same players every week, because in my league (Yahoo!) you can only use a player 9 times. So now I have to mix and match. The only problem with that is I have no idea who many of these players are! Stinky Golfer Chris has posted about this issue and he’s right – if the media wasn’t so hung up on Tiger, I may be a better fantasy golfer!

Anyway, not knowing many of the tour players, I’ve relied on the “expert” picks. And when you start reading-up on fantasy golf from the experts, you realize these guys are choosing players each week for a multitude of reasons. For example, they won’t start a player who is hot because he historically doesn’t play well at a particular course. Or even in particular weather!

Now I’m sunk. Not only do I not know many PGA Tour players, but I don’t really follow the PGA Tour to begin with! How am I supposed to know how a particular player has done at a specific course? That’s just too much research for me.

Oh and I’m having a hard time remembering to change-out my players too. In the NFL, players tend to play every week (unless they’re injured or on bye). So if you forget to change your lineup, chances are your team will still be intact enough to give you a shot at winning anyway. But not in golf. Not every player plays every stop on tour, so if you forget to check, you can (like me this week) have no golfers from the previous week playing in the tournament this week! That translates to a big fat goose egg for my weekly score.

But there’s more. In football, there’s only one game a week. In golf, the tournament lasts four days. So there’s an opportunity to switch starters with bench players after the first, second and third rounds. The problem is, I can never remember to do it! I’d set my lineup on Wednesday and check how I did on Monday…only to learn two of my four starters missed the cut on Friday! That led me to set a reminder on my phone for Friday night at 10 PM to make sure my starters actually make the cut for the weekend!

It doesn’t matter – I have no business playing fantasy golf. Of the five that started-out in our league, only three have kept it up (myself included). And of those three, I’m last. It’s pathetic. I play golf, I write about golf, I love golf. But I suck at fantasy golf. But, I signed up and I will compete till the end of the season.

Speaking of that, the summer session is about to begin – another 13 weeks of me stinking-up the fantasy golf links. Joy.