When you’ve played golf for a quarter of a century like I have, you’ve seen some crazy things. And while I don’t claim to have seen the unbelievable, I have witnessed some wacky shots in my day.
Let’s begin when my father first started playing golf. Instead of my father introducing the game to me, I introduced it to him. My father was a baseball player and later a bowler and weekend softball warrior. When I started golfing in my early teens, my dad recognized he was missing out on father/son time, so he got himself a set of clubs and I started showing him the ropes.
On his second time out on the links, we were standing on the tee of a par 3 and he asked what club he should use. It was 160 yards to the pin and I knew based on his skill level at the time the shot would probably take everything he had in his bag. I handed him the driver and he topped one that barley cleared a stream; landed about 15 yards from the green; bounced on; and rolled to within 2 inches of the cup. He sunk the putt for bird and I tapped in for double. But the fact that he nearly aced a hole his second time ever playing has stuck with me for over 20 years (especially considering I’m still searching for that elusive hole-in-one).
A few years later, I was playing at a different course with one of my golf buddies and we were on a 200-yard par 3. I put mine in the greenside bunker and my friend hit a worm-burner dead left. I remember thinking as the ball left his club-face that he was going to be in worse shape than me.
A split-second later, his ball landed on the cart path and rocketed for another 100 yards until it hit the curb of the path; careened up in the air and towards the green; landed about 15 feet away from the pin; and rolled to within 2 inches of the cup. He sunk the putt for bird and I tapped in for double.
More recently, the GolfStinks crew was standing on the tee box of a par 4 when our co-founder, Stinky Golfer Tom, shanked his drive into the woods immediately adjacent to the tee box. We heard (but did not see) the ball hit a tree about 20 yards into the woods. A split second later, the ball came shooting back out of the thickets; hit the ground about 20 feet in front of us and bounced directly back towards Tom…who promptly caught the ball one-handed; re-teed and roped one straight down the middle. Of course we all simultaneously reminded him he was laying 3 in the fairway.
While we’re talking about Stinky Golfer Tom, he and I were playing a long par 4 one time, years ago. This particular hole had an elevated tee box that was set back from the cart path a bit. On that day, the tees were back somewhat and for whatever reason, Tom had convinced himself he could hit his driver off the deck (e.g. without teeing it up).
So Tom hauled off and absolutely ripped a drive that had uncanny sinking action. The next moments are embedded into my mind in slow motion: The ball headed directly towards the back of our cart; split our two bags perfectly; and exploded through the windshield on the other side, leaving a volleyball-sized hole in its wake. I’d like to say we did the right thing and told management, but we didn’t. We were young and the thought of having to pay for a new windshield scared us. So we finished our round, parked the cart amongst many others by the clubhouse and made haste to the parking lot (the whole time nervous someone would come running after us).
The last crazy shot was my own. I hit my drive a decent ways, but it sliced last second into the woods on the righthand side of the fairway of a par 5. The best I could do from there was a punch-out into the fairway…except I flubbed it and had to settle for punching my third shot back out into the fairway.
I was now sitting about 205 yards to the green, which was surrounded by woods and guarded by several bunkers. Throwing caution to the wind, I pulled out my 4 iron and crushed one right at the flag. The ball landed on the green and rolled toward the hole and wedged itself between the pin and cup…and then a moment later, it dropped in. Immediately the rest of my group began hootin’ ‘n hollerin’ over what great an eagle I had just gotten. They were so excited, I didn’t have the heart to tell them it was only a birdie.
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