Golf Questions Answered…IV

golfquestions4Hacks, we are back for our fourth installment (see also part 1, part 2 & part 3). You’ve been asking the tough questions and we’ve been supplying nothing but straight forward no B.S. answers…Golf Stinks style! I’m excited to get cracking on this next batch…let’s go!

Q: Why do I keep picking my head up during my swing?

A: Brosephine, you wanna see where that ball is going, no?

Q: As a beginner, what inexpensive ball do you recommend?

A: Well, I have a couple solutions:

  1. Range balls! Buy a bucket of 100 for $10-12 and pocket a bunch. When you get caught we do not accept responsibility. If we told you to jump off a bridge, would you?
  2. The ol’ give and take. You fire your tee shot into the woods and chances are 95% of the golfers before you did too. A little stroll into the woods could unveil a cache of those little buggers and they are all yours!

Q: My strength is in my short game but my long irons need help. What can I do to improve?

A: Listen here you snotty little punk braggart. My long, short and everything in between game needs help…tee off with a 9-iron wiseguy.

Q: I love my Pinseeker Lase Rangefinder but find I’m using it too much. Is technology hurting golf?

A: Wow, great question! Technology has its upside in moderation. Try this, the next time you use the rangefinder find out how far away the cart girl or MoFoBeTe is. If you get that stalkerish/peepin’ tom feeling then imagine how the pin feels, scumbag.

Q: My wife gets annoyed every time I golf and says it’s ruining our relationship because I play so much. What do I do?

A: Sometimes you need to hang it up. There are more important things in life…I’m sure she’ll get over it.

And another successful round of Q & A’s from your reliable pals at!

Hit’em long…yell FORE!!!

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