A couple of people I know seem to have a tough time with their significant other when it comes to playing golf. I don’t know if there is a jealousy, separational anxiety or trust issue that prevents them from golfing but for whatever reason, their partner doesn’t approve.

I’m sure we’ve all heard it before; If you have time to golf, you have time to _________. You can fill in the blank with any non-golf related activity. I’m starting to think there is a secret anti-golf organization that strives to deter us from playing.

The title says “Useful Excuses”, sorry about the mix-up. I meant to say an orally communicated fictional rendition of what will transpire. Basically, a good ol’ fashion lie. Oh please, like you never done that before. If elected officials do it, so can I. I pay my taxes. Moving on, here’s a little list of some creative and personal favorite tales to improve the chance of making that tee-time. Just fill in the blanks with names or places.

1. Hey Honey, you know ______ is really going through a tough time with/at ______. I think this Saturday morning ______ will really appreciate if we hang out for a while. Maybe go to lunch too. You know, to get his/her mind off _____.
* This is a common one but classic nonetheless. Some set-up could be required depending on how gullible your other half is. i.e. A phone call a day or two before the round, from the above mentioned person in distress, to lay the phoney baloney foundation for you to build on.

2. Wow! Check this out, _______ is really sucking on the tour this year. If I get out there and practice there’s a chance I could qualify and make some big money. You know, to pay off the bills and finally get you that ______ you always wanted. You deserve it…
* Timing and delivery is crucial with this one, as well as, a huge set of brass balls. Pull this off and we’re talking B.S.’er Hall of Fame material.

3. You know that whole global initiative to go green? Turns out _____ and _____ from work have put together this nature walk on Saturday morning. The big boss is going to be there and I think this will be a great opportunity for me to impress him/her. You know, really ace it.
* Technically, a round of golf requires some walking in natural environments therefore possibly making this fable non-fiction. There, I feel better already.

You get the idea. Use these or get the creative juices flowing and develop your own. Whatever it takes, we need to stick together and help each other to do what we love – hack up the course.

Hit’em long…yell FORE!!!