On a recent golf outing, I was paired up with a husband and wife. They were both retired and had settled into a life of golfing together.They told stories of their recent trip to Hilton Head and Myrtle Beach; their travels to Ireland on a couples golf vacation; and their future plans to play together in Hawaii.
The pair was happy – and I had a content feeling with how they interacted on the course together – there was something very romantic about it all.
But when my mind wandered to the notion of me playing golf with my wife, that peaceful feeling was replaced with apprehension. Why? Now don’t get me wrong, I love my wife – she’s my best friend and the mother of my children. But for some reason, I shuddered at the thought of her hitting the links with me.
This weighed on me the rest of the round – what was my deal? That retired couple seemed completely smitten with each other – sharing a cart, talking golf strategy, enjoying one another’s company. What the hell was my problem?
Fast forward a few weeks to yesterday. I’m in San Francisco at a conference for work and I’m chatting with a colleague who also happens to be a fellow golfer. During our conversation, he mentions he’s about to take a golf trip with the guys.
“There’s just something about a guys golf trip.” I said as he nodded in agreement. He then said something that struck a chord with me: “I can’t play golf with my wife. She’s offered to try taking up the game, but I’m glad she never did. Nothing against my wife, but golf to me is my time with my buddies.”
He had hit the nail on the head. That was my problem – golf is my “hanging with the guys” time. It always has been – in fact, playing a round with my wife would be like time wasted – time I could have instead spent with my friends.
You see, I spend most of my free time with my wife and son. Once a month I carve out a few hours to hit the links and by God it’s going to be quality time with my pals. But of course now that I’m writing this, I feel like a complete jerk.
Perhaps I’m missing the point to all this?
Now my wife is not one for sports – especially partaking in them. She did have an interest in playing tennis once, but after couple times on the court she was over it. Meanwhile, she has never expressed any interest in golfing. And until this very moment, I’ve been completely cool with that. More than cool, in fact – I’ve been downright happy.
But the more I think about that couple, the more I realize that I might be missing out on something. It never occurred to me that I could play golf with my wife and STILL play golf with my friends. In fact, not only would it mean more time out on the links for me, but I’d be spending quality time with my wife to boot!Not only that, but vacations can now include golf. Hmmmm, I’m beginning to realize the benefits of having a spouse that plays golf. Of course the true benefit will be when we retire, after the kids are out on their own and we can travel together on golf trips like that couple.
But I’m getting ahead of myself. Step number one is to convince my wife to golf (never thought I’d say that). If I can introduce her to the game slowly, by the time we’re ready to retire we’ll have a future of golf to look forward to.
Of course if she tries golf and doesn’t like it, I’m back to just playing with my pals. But that’s fine too. The point is I’ve realized that I love golf; and I love my wife – why not enjoy the company of both?
Not trying to be pedantic, but the word you’re looking for is “shudder” not “shutter” – which is what goes around the windows on your house.
@Ted – thanks for catching that! Of course, sometime we might want to “shutter” her out too!
My wife went out with me Monday for nine holes. She’s been to par 3 courses several times but it was her first time on a regular course. She struggled a bit but is fired up to hit the practice range. Best of both worlds!
Right on @Scott!
my boyfriend is a 2 handicap who encouraged me to give the sport a try. i resisted for 4 years before i broke down and took a lesson. now i LOVE playing. he’s great about being encouraging and making it fun (even when i’m struggling.)for my part i now realize vacation can be much more than sitting on a beach or shopping!
@absolutahnie – that’s the kind of inspiration I need! Glad you love the game – here’s hoping my wife loves it too!