{"id":562,"date":"2009-11-16T15:55:00","date_gmt":"2009-11-16T15:55:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/golfstinks.com\/blog\/?p=562"},"modified":"2015-07-03T01:22:40","modified_gmt":"2015-07-03T05:22:40","slug":"golfstinks-man-i-suck-and-couldnt-give-2","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/golfstinks.com\/blog\/2009\/11\/golfstinks-man-i-suck-and-couldnt-give-2.html","title":{"rendered":"The Golfstinks, Man I Suck And Couldn\u2019t Give A Fat Baby\u2019s Ass, Golf Course Challenge (Part 1)"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><i><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignleft wp-image-6482 size-medium\" src=\"http:\/\/golfstinks.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2009\/11\/wine-215359_640-300x200.jpg\" alt=\"wine-215359_640\" width=\"300\" height=\"200\" srcset=\"http:\/\/golfstinks.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2009\/11\/wine-215359_640-300x200.jpg 300w, http:\/\/golfstinks.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2009\/11\/wine-215359_640-600x400.jpg 600w, http:\/\/golfstinks.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2009\/11\/wine-215359_640.jpg 640w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px\" \/>WARNING: The following challenges are intended for reading entertainment purposes and not to be performed. Unless you are a total moron or just curious like me. For Part 2 in this series, please click <a href=\"http:\/\/golfstinks.blogspot.com\/2009\/12\/golfstinks-man-i-suck-and-couldnt-give.html\">HERE<\/a>.<\/i><\/p>\n<p>Does sucking at golf get you down? You arrive, unload your bag, mangle the course, screw up your shots and have to listen to some pipe tell you to keep your head down. Well, I too have been in that scenario and looked for a way to better my situation. I realized that without practice and hours upon hours of being on the course, I will never become a better golfer. So, I took the liberty and created challenges to keep my spirits up while golfing poorly.<\/p>\n<p>Challenge #1: <b>The Pi\u00f1ata Drive<\/b><br \/>\nOk, you get blindfolded, take your driver and hold it straight up so you can bend over and rest your head on the grip while the club head is touching the ground, and in traditional fashion, you revolve around the club as your buddies count each revolution in Spanish (you may stop at ten, sorry \u201cdiez\u201d). You then proceed, with a little help, to where your ball is teed up and swing till the stuff comes out. What do you mean &#8216;What stuff?&#8217; Well, I don\u2019t know\u2026 until you make contact with something wise ass! Did I mention that (DIMT from here on out, hey everybody else makes up their own acronyms) alcohol must be consumed prior to the blindfolding and in between revolutions and your approach to the ball or more properly, your \u201cset-up?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Justification: You are going to screw up your tee shot anyway.<\/p>\n<p>Challenge #2: <b>En Garde!<\/b><br \/>\nChallenge anyone and everyone to a fencing duel using their driver shaft as a sword. If they decline and walk away, proceed to smack the back of their leg with the shaft in a whipping motion and immediately scream \u201cEn garde!\u201d This will easily get your ass kicked or make for some good side betting. Either way, it\u2019s entertainment.<\/p>\n<p>Justification: Sharpens the ol\u2019 reflexes and helps with the hand-eye coordination thing.<\/p>\n<p>Challenge #3: <b>Tee For Two<\/b><br \/>\nTwo butt cheeks that is. How long can you keep a golf tee wedged in your butt crack? No one has to know, call it our secret big boy! More points the hotter the weather. DIMT a golf ball can be substituted for the more \u201cadvanced\u201d partaker in this challenge?<\/p>\n<p>Justification: It depends on who you are asking. My justification is giving the tee to the annoying one in the foursome.<\/p>\n<!-- AddThis Advanced Settings generic via filter on the_content --><!-- AddThis Share Buttons generic via filter on the_content -->","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>WARNING: The following challenges are intended for reading entertainment purposes and not to be performed. Unless you are a total moron or just curious like me. For Part 2 in this series, please click HERE. Does sucking at golf get you down? You arrive, unload your bag, mangle the course, screw up your shots and [&hellip;]<!-- AddThis Advanced Settings generic via filter on get_the_excerpt --><!-- AddThis Share Buttons generic via filter on get_the_excerpt --><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":6482,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"_genesis_hide_title":false,"_genesis_hide_breadcrumbs":false,"_genesis_hide_singular_image":false,"_genesis_hide_footer_widgets":false,"_genesis_custom_body_class":"","_genesis_custom_post_class":"","_genesis_layout":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[1963],"tags":[1836,1834,1792,1835,1090],"class_list":{"0":"post-562","1":"post","2":"type-post","3":"status-publish","4":"format-standard","5":"has-post-thumbnail","7":"category-stinky-golfer-paradise","8":"tag-en-garde","9":"tag-fencing","10":"tag-golf-course-challenge","11":"tag-pinata","12":"tag-tee","13":"entry"},"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v27.3 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>The Golfstinks, Man I Suck And Couldn\u2019t Give A Fat Baby\u2019s Ass, Golf Course Challenge (Part 1) &#8226; GolfStinks<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/golfstinks.com\/blog\/2009\/11\/golfstinks-man-i-suck-and-couldnt-give-2.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"The Golfstinks, Man I Suck And Couldn\u2019t Give A Fat Baby\u2019s Ass, Golf Course Challenge (Part 1) &#8226; GolfStinks\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"WARNING: The following challenges are intended for reading entertainment purposes and not to be performed. Unless you are a total moron or just curious like me. For Part 2 in this series, please click HERE. Does sucking at golf get you down? You arrive, unload your bag, mangle the course, screw up your shots and [&hellip;]\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/golfstinks.com\/blog\/2009\/11\/golfstinks-man-i-suck-and-couldnt-give-2.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"GolfStinks\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:publisher\" content=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/golfstinks\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2009-11-16T15:55:00+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2015-07-03T05:22:40+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"https:\/\/golfstinks.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2009\/11\/wine-215359_640.jpg\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:width\" content=\"640\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:height\" content=\"427\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:type\" content=\"image\/jpeg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Pete Girotto\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:creator\" content=\"@golfstinks\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:site\" content=\"@golfstinks\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"Pete Girotto\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"2 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\\\/\\\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"Article\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/golfstinks.com\\\/blog\\\/2009\\\/11\\\/golfstinks-man-i-suck-and-couldnt-give-2.html#article\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/golfstinks.com\\\/blog\\\/2009\\\/11\\\/golfstinks-man-i-suck-and-couldnt-give-2.html\"},\"author\":{\"name\":\"Pete Girotto\",\"@id\":\"http:\\\/\\\/golfstinks.com\\\/blog\\\/#\\\/schema\\\/person\\\/34f85dc3d6591e44cdc9065f2aa40ec3\"},\"headline\":\"The Golfstinks, Man I Suck And Couldn\u2019t Give A Fat Baby\u2019s Ass, Golf Course Challenge (Part 1)\",\"datePublished\":\"2009-11-16T15:55:00+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2015-07-03T05:22:40+00:00\",\"mainEntityOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/golfstinks.com\\\/blog\\\/2009\\\/11\\\/golfstinks-man-i-suck-and-couldnt-give-2.html\"},\"wordCount\":442,\"commentCount\":0,\"publisher\":{\"@id\":\"http:\\\/\\\/golfstinks.com\\\/blog\\\/#organization\"},\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/golfstinks.com\\\/blog\\\/2009\\\/11\\\/golfstinks-man-i-suck-and-couldnt-give-2.html#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"http:\\\/\\\/golfstinks.com\\\/blog\\\/wp-content\\\/uploads\\\/2009\\\/11\\\/wine-215359_640.jpg\",\"keywords\":[\"en garde\",\"fencing\",\"golf course challenge\",\"Pi\u00f1ata\",\"tee\"],\"articleSection\":[\"Stinky Golfer Paradise\"],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"CommentAction\",\"name\":\"Comment\",\"target\":[\"https:\\\/\\\/golfstinks.com\\\/blog\\\/2009\\\/11\\\/golfstinks-man-i-suck-and-couldnt-give-2.html#respond\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/golfstinks.com\\\/blog\\\/2009\\\/11\\\/golfstinks-man-i-suck-and-couldnt-give-2.html\",\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/golfstinks.com\\\/blog\\\/2009\\\/11\\\/golfstinks-man-i-suck-and-couldnt-give-2.html\",\"name\":\"The Golfstinks, Man I Suck And Couldn\u2019t Give A Fat Baby\u2019s Ass, Golf Course Challenge (Part 1) &#8226; 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