{"id":410,"date":"2010-10-15T13:00:00","date_gmt":"2010-10-15T13:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/golfstinks.com\/blog\/?p=410"},"modified":"2014-10-09T02:28:40","modified_gmt":"2014-10-09T06:28:40","slug":"my-halloween-costume","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/golfstinks.com\/blog\/2010\/10\/my-halloween-costume.html","title":{"rendered":"My Halloween Costume"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><a href=\"http:\/\/3.bp.blogspot.com\/_fPLJTKmoVDk\/TLfwNDuFtaI\/AAAAAAAAALA\/o9f4YvyRRc8\/s1600\/file_1229_10.jpg\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignleft\" src=\"http:\/\/3.bp.blogspot.com\/_fPLJTKmoVDk\/TLfwNDuFtaI\/AAAAAAAAALA\/o9f4YvyRRc8\/s200\/file_1229_10.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"140\" height=\"200\" border=\"0\" \/><\/a>Stinky Golfer Greg mentioned in his last post, &#8220;<a href=\"http:\/\/golfstinks.blogspot.com\/2010\/10\/you-know-that-local-course-you-love-so.html\">You Know that Local Course You Love So Much?<\/a>&#8221; that autumn sadly signifies the end of our golf season here in the Northeast.<\/p>\n<p>Luckily, we have halloween though, a chance to dress up like a tool and still be accepted. Not that I dress like a tool normally, but you get the idea. What do you mean I can&#8217;t wear cowboy boots and spandex shorts?<\/p>\n<p>So, I put some thought into my halloween costume this year and decided it should be golf-related. Not wanting to jump on the bandwagon and be <a href=\"http:\/\/www.waggleroom.com\/2010\/10\/15\/1752690\/the-today-show-shares-the-hottest-halloween-costumes-or-cigar-guy\">Cigar Guy<\/a>, I thought I could go as a professional tour player. How about Phil Mickelson? Good ol&#8217; Lefty would be a good one. All I have to do is make it to the end and&#8230;<i>not<\/i> win. Oof! Maybe not as good an idea as I thought.<\/p>\n<p>John Daly&#8230;bingo! This has two options; the fat version or the not so fat version. I&#8217;ll raid a trailer park for some threads, solicit a hooker and get s@#%-faced everywhere I go. On top of that, I&#8217;ll wager butt loads of money frivolously anywhere that I can gamble it away. Wait, I think Daly doesn&#8217;t drink anymore and just chain smokes now. Plus, I really don&#8217;t have the extra cash to be betting with. Scratch JD off the list. Next!<\/p>\n<p>Tiger, Tiger Woods y&#8217;all!!! Oh man, I&#8217;ll whip everyones&#8217; ass and sleep with all the women while sporting the red and black Nike get-up. Sweet! Actually, I won&#8217;t even be available for Halloween because I gotta show the new beer-cart girl my putter. You know, I want her to see how I sink my balls in-person. This has potential&#8230;a little risky but has potential.<\/p>\n<p>I could always go a little old school with someone like Greg Norman. That would be pretty cool. Fake a Down-Under accent, rock a pimp hat (come on, his hat is one feather away from Huggy Bear&#8217;s collection) and throw some shrimp on the barbie. G&#8217;day mate, it sure is a lovely day. Golf? What is that? Would yoos care ta try some of me wine? Or maybe not&#8230;<\/p>\n<p>The hell with it! Being a pro golfer is unrealistic. I need something that is more&#8230;me. Something I can really relate to. A costume that fits my persona and allows for an easy transition into character. Now where did I put that Mr. T wig?<\/p>\n<p>Hit&#8217;em long, yell FORE!!! Cuz&#8217; I pity the fool with no golf etiquette!<\/p>\n<!-- AddThis Advanced Settings generic via filter on the_content --><!-- AddThis Share Buttons generic via filter on the_content -->","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Stinky Golfer Greg mentioned in his last post, &#8220;You Know that Local Course You Love So Much?&#8221; that autumn sadly signifies the end of our golf season here in the Northeast. Luckily, we have halloween though, a chance to dress up like a tool and still be accepted. Not that I dress like a tool [&hellip;]<!-- AddThis Advanced Settings generic via filter on get_the_excerpt --><!-- AddThis Share Buttons generic via filter on get_the_excerpt --><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":5213,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"_genesis_hide_title":false,"_genesis_hide_breadcrumbs":false,"_genesis_hide_singular_image":false,"_genesis_hide_footer_widgets":false,"_genesis_custom_body_class":"","_genesis_custom_post_class":"","_genesis_layout":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[1999],"tags":[89,207,4,1383,136,39],"class_list":{"0":"post-410","1":"post","2":"type-post","3":"status-publish","4":"format-standard","5":"has-post-thumbnail","7":"category-golf-life","8":"tag-greg-norman","9":"tag-halloween","10":"tag-john-daly","11":"tag-mr-t","12":"tag-phil-mickelson","13":"tag-tiger-woods","14":"entry"},"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v27.3 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>My Halloween Costume &#8226; GolfStinks<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"http:\/\/golfstinks.com\/blog\/2010\/10\/my-halloween-costume.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"My Halloween Costume &#8226; GolfStinks\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Stinky Golfer Greg mentioned in his last post, &#8220;You Know that Local Course You Love So Much?&#8221; that autumn sadly signifies the end of our golf season here in the Northeast. 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